Sea of Life
the zeno17 total reviews
Comment from karenina
I wish, oh wish that when posting these not so familiar poetry forms, the Club would provide a quick summary of the requirements. (sigh)
Anyway: Google tells me: "Zeno is named after a pre-Socratic philosopher of paradoxes. It is: a poem of 10 lines.
syllabic: 8/4/2/1/4/2/1/4/2/1
Rhyme scheme: abcdefdghd
Is that correct?
If so, your rhyme scheme is correct, with your "D" rhyme landing in the fourth, seventh, and tenth lines. AND (I had to count out loud) -- your syllabic structure is spot on as well!
All of that aside -- the theme of life being quite the emotional see-saw is something I can relate to.
Karenina
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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I wish, oh wish that when posting these not so familiar poetry forms, the Club would provide a quick summary of the requirements. (sigh)
Anyway: Google tells me: "Zeno is named after a pre-Socratic philosopher of paradoxes. It is: a poem of 10 lines.
syllabic: 8/4/2/1/4/2/1/4/2/1
Rhyme scheme: abcdefdghd
Is that correct?
If so, your rhyme scheme is correct, with your "D" rhyme landing in the fourth, seventh, and tenth lines. AND (I had to count out loud) -- your syllabic structure is spot on as well!
All of that aside -- the theme of life being quite the emotional see-saw is something I can relate to.
Karenina
Comment Written 18-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Thank you very much for taking the trouble of reading and reviewing .
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No "trouble" to it!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a gloomy post and this is what it was like when I was working, the battle on the motorway to get to work and then dealing with all the problems at work and then returning home through the traffic until I found peace at home for a few hours before it started all over again, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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This is a gloomy post and this is what it was like when I was working, the battle on the motorway to get to work and then dealing with all the problems at work and then returning home through the traffic until I found peace at home for a few hours before it started all over again, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 18-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Thank you very much,for dropping by.
Comment from shelley kaye
i see this as people rushing around in a hurry all the time... i like going slow... though sometimes it annoys people lol
nice imagery with the speeding wheels and hurrying feet
strong and smooth rhyme and flow
cool zeno!
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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i see this as people rushing around in a hurry all the time... i like going slow... though sometimes it annoys people lol
nice imagery with the speeding wheels and hurrying feet
strong and smooth rhyme and flow
cool zeno!
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
Comment Written 18-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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So Do I .I prefer to do everything in a relaxed way.
thank you very much.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I feel as if I would be traipsing through a minefield if I, a student, not a teacher, especially an English teacher gave anything but kudus to a piece written by a word surgeon. That said I would have written it differently. Wham. Kapow. Detritus of me is strewn across the battlefield. I should have passed on the member cents rewards.
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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I feel as if I would be traipsing through a minefield if I, a student, not a teacher, especially an English teacher gave anything but kudus to a piece written by a word surgeon. That said I would have written it differently. Wham. Kapow. Detritus of me is strewn across the battlefield. I should have passed on the member cents rewards.
Comment Written 18-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Battle field? no way itis a battle field.. there wasa prescribed form to adhere to..Thanks for dropping by
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Such thought and consideration have gone into this ostensibly simple verse form producing something that touches us all. A poem of two parts but the first relevant to the second with a fine transition in which Life (with a capital) is the link. The rush is very relatable and reminds me of the poem: What is this life, if full of care,/we have no time to stand and stare (William Henry Davies). While the 'sea of bitter strife' is, of course, our life and the world we live in. This is an excellent club entry and a virtual six from me. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Such thought and consideration have gone into this ostensibly simple verse form producing something that touches us all. A poem of two parts but the first relevant to the second with a fine transition in which Life (with a capital) is the link. The rush is very relatable and reminds me of the poem: What is this life, if full of care,/we have no time to stand and stare (William Henry Davies). While the 'sea of bitter strife' is, of course, our life and the world we live in. This is an excellent club entry and a virtual six from me. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 18-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Thank you very much for the virtual stars.I am glad you got that echo of W.H.Davies. T was very much in mind when I wrote this..
Comment from gansach
Aha, now that I've learned what a Zeno poem is, I recognized it right away this time. I like yours, especially how the word Life is part of both the first grouping and starts the second grouping and also problems rife into the third making a smooth transition. Everyone needs to slow down and take time to enjoy life more. Very nice!
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reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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Aha, now that I've learned what a Zeno poem is, I recognized it right away this time. I like yours, especially how the word Life is part of both the first grouping and starts the second grouping and also problems rife into the third making a smooth transition. Everyone needs to slow down and take time to enjoy life more. Very nice!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-May-2024
reply by the author on 25-May-2024
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thank you very muchfortaking the trouble to read and review..
Comment from lyenochka
Your poem reminds me of the book of Ecclesiastes - and how life is full of strife indeed. I haven't attempted the Zeno poem yet I think you have got the rhyme scheme just right. I wonder if the first line should have 8 syllables?
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reply by the author on 18-May-2024
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Your poem reminds me of the book of Ecclesiastes - and how life is full of strife indeed. I haven't attempted the Zeno poem yet I think you have got the rhyme scheme just right. I wonder if the first line should have 8 syllables?
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-May-2024
reply by the author on 18-May-2024
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Thank you Helen .I made it 8 added an.and.