Stirring up visions
A Potlatch Club entry20 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We know exactly what you are thinking about here and whether it be fantasy or fact, the mind wonders to the opposite sex here, a fun post, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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We know exactly what you are thinking about here and whether it be fantasy or fact, the mind wonders to the opposite sex here, a fun post, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Smiles back to you Dolly!
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Stirring Up Visions, leads the readers to the seaside where the winds and waves form the visions of a lady in the swirling tumult of surf and sand.
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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This poem, Stirring Up Visions, leads the readers to the seaside where the winds and waves form the visions of a lady in the swirling tumult of surf and sand.
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Bill, thanksfor your thoughtss.
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very nicely written poem for the club event and I wish you the very best with all of your writing that you have a wonderful week and may God bless you with many wonderful poems to write. Patricia .
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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This is a very nicely written poem for the club event and I wish you the very best with all of your writing that you have a wonderful week and may God bless you with many wonderful poems to write. Patricia .
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Patricia, thank you for the uplifting words.
Comment from gansach
I really like the poem and the ocean sound effects are great. This is an interesting construction of which I was not familiar. I did look up some examples to understand what I am looking for when I read it. Your poem meets all requirements and I enjoyed it very much. Great artwork too!
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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I really like the poem and the ocean sound effects are great. This is an interesting construction of which I was not familiar. I did look up some examples to understand what I am looking for when I read it. Your poem meets all requirements and I enjoyed it very much. Great artwork too!
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Utterly imperfect... ugh
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I read your reworked Zeno poem and revised my review to reflect the changes. Nice job!
Comment from royowen
Wouldn't that be wonderful Jim? To actually see one of the people we thought were myths, actually reveal themselves, I think ancient mariners actually did see them. Or so they thought. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Wouldn't that be wonderful Jim? To actually see one of the people we thought were myths, actually reveal themselves, I think ancient mariners actually did see them. Or so they thought. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Thank you....
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Welcome
Comment from Tom Horonzy
and here I thought I alone have a demented mind and then I find in your notes J. Patrick Lewis's creation (Zeno) broken down to being 8/4/2/1/4/2/1/4/2/1 with a Rhyme scheme of abcdefdghd. Maybe we are related. And then I muse, you may be too for being trapped into writing one. j,k,
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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and here I thought I alone have a demented mind and then I find in your notes J. Patrick Lewis's creation (Zeno) broken down to being 8/4/2/1/4/2/1/4/2/1 with a Rhyme scheme of abcdefdghd. Maybe we are related. And then I muse, you may be too for being trapped into writing one. j,k,
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Yes Tom, utterly imperfect fool that I am.
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I hope you no I stated that in jest and the "no ill intent was intended'
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None taken, all is good
Comment from Mark Jackson
I like this but I am unsure why you chose to use French in the final line. There seemed to be no suggestion of French before and so it just seems a choice made to rhyme and not a natural choice.
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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I like this but I am unsure why you chose to use French in the final line. There seemed to be no suggestion of French before and so it just seems a choice made to rhyme and not a natural choice.
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Mark, spot on! Utterly imperfect....
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. I don't understand poetic form so I really can't comment on that. But I did enjoy reading this entry and I enjoyed the artwork.
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. I don't understand poetic form so I really can't comment on that. But I did enjoy reading this entry and I enjoyed the artwork.
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Barvara, thanks!
Comment from shelley kaye
While
many thoughts twirl <-- this should be on one line
other than that, this was a great zeno
the ocean can be very calming and hypnotic
and a soothing source of inspiration
nice work with nice imagery and smooth flow
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
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reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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While
many thoughts twirl <-- this should be on one line
other than that, this was a great zeno
the ocean can be very calming and hypnotic
and a soothing source of inspiration
nice work with nice imagery and smooth flow
thank you for sharing
shelley :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Shelley, thank you! Imperfection corrected...
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I'm a bit confused by this zeno verse because your syllables don't quite fufil the prompt: The first 4 lines - fine; 5th line should be 4, 6th line - 2, 7th line - 1, 8th line - 4. Lines 9 and 10 are fine. Then the 4th and 10th are supposed to rhyme which is a bit of a stretch if you pronounce fille in french. That said the visual is beautiful and I think your poetry evocatively complements the scene. Thanks for sharing. Debbie
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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I'm a bit confused by this zeno verse because your syllables don't quite fufil the prompt: The first 4 lines - fine; 5th line should be 4, 6th line - 2, 7th line - 1, 8th line - 4. Lines 9 and 10 are fine. Then the 4th and 10th are supposed to rhyme which is a bit of a stretch if you pronounce fille in french. That said the visual is beautiful and I think your poetry evocatively complements the scene. Thanks for sharing. Debbie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 14-May-2024
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Debbie, yes utterly imperfect...
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No one will notice. I had to keep counting a few times and I'm plain sad!
