Reviews from

The Loveliest Night Of The Year

a quirk in time

32 total reviews 
Comment from Douglas Goff
Excellent
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First, Jim, let me say that I do NOT like clowns. And dang it if you did not find the creepiest saddest looking clown around.

Fun piece. Great last line.

PS. I did have to look up Mizpah. I had no clue.
D

 Comment Written 01-May-2024

Comment from Sanku
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a well crafted time travel story And much better than the usual science fiction type .Every reader can relate to the 2045 clock and mirror. The times never flows back .Only we can travel back in our minds to see the changes the time has carved on us...all the best..

 Comment Written 01-May-2024

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
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This is very well written and rather sad evidence of the passage of years. They never rewind, but fortunately our memories can carry us back to better times, lovelier memories. I just read the near future flash entries and didn't see this among them, or I missed it.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
    My computer is going in and out. The wifi is terrible. I ordered some parts and will have it fixed soon. It takes forever to edit or reply, so that may be why you missed it.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Great job with this contest entry! I like how you dealt with the nebulousness of time for these seniors who in the 2045 time didn't recognize their own beloved one but the lapse into the past shows who they are. Hope this does well in the contest!

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
    I am grateful for your words.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a beautifully expressed time travel in which you find yourself savouring a particular episode when you were a young man and in love. The details are vividly recalled but time is "scurrying" and you're swept along, powerlessly, away from the scene and into the future. There you find, Elena, aged and transformed, but still wearing the chain of vigilance you shared. You've excelled here, Jim, and transported your reader through the realms of time, mystified and enchanted by an ever-lasting love affair. Thanks for sharing. Take care Debbie

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
    Thank you for being a good friend and your kind words.
reply by Debbie D'Arcy on 30-Apr-2024
    A pleasure!
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
    Your words are pleasure to me.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
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Nicely written.
So the clown caught a glimpse of his future, sixty years on. He was confused by it, but took note. Then, back in 1985, he fell in love with Elena. In due time, she died. And then when he aged those sixty years, he discovered that he would reunite with her?

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
    That's about it. True Love never ends, a my wife in Heaven knows.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
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Time is not our friend. It waits for no one as it pushes us forward before we are ready. Your story cleverly tells a love story of a man whose memory does not allow him remember lapsed time. He only recalls one beautiful moment in time. This could be what dementia is like.

Your story, artwork and video combined make a perfect presentation. Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
    Unfortunately, where I now reside, I have witnessed too many cases of dementia.
Comment from Sharon Elwell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Beautifully written! I had only two quibbles. One is using the word "elegant" to describe a mullet. The other was the comma placement in the sentence "...hide the bald spots and her breathing, very labored." Seems the comma should go after "spots."
Good work!

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
    I changed the wording. It has been difficult for me to edit correctly and reply due to the terrible internet connection here. I ordered some parts and hope to resolve my wifi problems in the ner future.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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My mom and dad met at a state fair. Thank you for sharing this contest entry and the song with us. I enjoyed listening and reading. I want to wish you luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
    I wrote another story, somewhere in my Portfolio, "Southern Exposure" where a man and a woman meet at a state fair.
Comment from GoWiSt
Excellent
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Wow, the countenance of that clown in your picture art choice sure contrasts with the imagery your title evokes.
This reads like a metaphor for remembrance, as shifting/alternating memories mentally transport the speaker from earlier events to the current time, with the clown-holding-a-timepiece portrait as the medium
Interesting narration of memory flow, with associated emotions. Is the speaker close to dementia? Death?

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
    I try to leave the reader guessing. There are two possible explanations: (1) the two were meant for one another but Time made a mistake or (2) the man is suffering from dementia.