Reviews from

Willing Hearts

Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Chapter 10 B"
Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?

33 total reviews 
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I don't read too many prose posts because English is my second language but I have a few that are very well written and are easy to follow. It has to be an engaging story. You are one of my favorite authors.

I'm enjoying following Noah and Sami's love story. They are so cute together.

Well done,

Gypsy

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. I'm honored that I am an author you've chosen to read.
Comment from Sharon Elwell
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This chapter seems to me to lack reactions and responses. When Sami and Noah have their outside conversation, he reveals a great deal, and the reader has no idea how she responds.
Later, when Sarah tells Sami she has been reserved, we wonder how she showed it, since she is always reserved in this situation.
"I enjoyed it and the previous hug..." doesn't sound like natural speech to me.
When Sami says, "I didn't know people could control their feelings," and Noah responds with, "I'm finding that to be true," it was unclear to me what he was finding to be true.
Still enjoying this story and anxious for the next chapter!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
    I just want to mention that this chapter just received the number 1 spot last month and you gave it four stars. I am really complaining. I'm just confused. I honestly don't understand.
reply by Sharon Elwell on 01-May-2024
    You know I enjoy reading your work. This chapter seemed to me to lack, as I mentioned, reactions and responses to bring it to life. Disregard my opinion if you don't agree.
reply by the author on 01-May-2024
    I don't agree and either do many of my readers. A few of them said it was the best one of mine they've read. I wait and see what my publisher's editor says. Maybe it does need a complete overhaul.
reply by Sharon Elwell on 01-May-2024
    I don't think a complete overhaul. It's well-paced and the story moves right along. I just want to know how Sami is feeling.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think this chapter worked perfectly, advancing the plot with news that made me laugh about the church dance ending up as a senior citizen travelogue and winding Chen up a treat! Not good for Noah though, no matter how brave and stoical he's being. The friendship too with Sami is also heating up with Sami taking more risks than Noah is prepared to do (at the moment:)) I only noticed one error (below) and enjoyed this excellent read. Thanks for sharing, Barbara. Take care Debbie
Should that be "sleeping (arrangements"?

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
    LOL It should be. I can't believe I did that and that nobody else said anything. It makes me wonder if people actually read it. LOL I really do appreciate the catch.
reply by Debbie D'Arcy on 29-Apr-2024
    Too much legalese going on in your creative mind:))
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
    lol, or I'm just spacey. I like your version better.
Comment from GoWiSt
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"Noah swallowed. I don't want too" I believe this should be 'to'--not too.
"We've all seen it" Geez, does this refer to Sami's private parts, or people's private regions in general?
" It's okay for him to grope my entire body," Wait, when did that happen?
Hey, they're two adults, right? Cut all that professionalism bullshit and get bangin' already!

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
    If you're looking for that, you're reading the wrong novel, just saying. I write Christian romance. I did make the correct. Noah groped Sami while he rescued her, to get her away from the kidnappers. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is one of those chapters that invades everybody's space who have talked inside, which makes it super up close and personal. LOL. And my humble opinion on your question: are any of us ever completely happy with anything we write? No, but we shouldn't be. Even if it's perfect, there's no harm in wanting it to be the best it can be. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the wonderful support. I appreciate it. HUGS!!!
Comment from GWHARGIS
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Barbara, you don't need to be completely happy with your posts, only the reader does. And, this reader was quite happy. I'm starting to really see how deeply faceted Noah is. Sami was easier to decipher but Noah has been trickier. But that's how it should be. Sami is confused by him and I should have been as well. Very good character development in this chapter. Gretchen

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
    Thank you for understanding. I appreciate it.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm always changing my posts after I've put them on here. My brain waits until then to see something could be better. Lol.

Well at least Sami knows that Noah does have strong feelings for her, and she for him. And the vents, how embarrassing it would have been later if they hadn't discovered sound travells through them. Now to get the security system up and running. Perhaps we'll get some answers. Well done! :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
    We will get answers. In my house voices travel through the air vents, so I thought I'd add it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mark Jackson
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This excerpt from your story showcases a dynamic interaction between the characters, particularly Noah and Sami, as they navigate professional boundaries and personal feelings within the context of their situation. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
    Thank you for reading. I appreciate the kind review.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

They now know where they stand with each other, and why, which is a good thing. The bad thing is the danger Noah is in, and there will be extra complications when the tech team arrives. We are moving towards a significant climax very soon! Well done.
Wendy
Edit: I don't want too. (to)

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
    I've fixed that ornery little word. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, things seem to be looking up between Sami and Noah. They now seem to be on the same page, and it will be increasingly difficult not to show their feelings. The rest of the team is certainly understanding.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 29-Apr-2024
    Sami will struggle with the feelings. Noah will work hard not to break down. LOL Thank you for the kind review.