The Unwilling Heir
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The Unwilling Heir - Chap 12"A Mysterious Inheritance and Murders
16 total reviews
Comment from royowen
I can't remember anyone writing of ghosts, ghouls and nasty wraiths on fanstory before, but you did it very well indeed Carol, in fact, superbly well, so we have Sandra and Madeleine with completely different aims and goals, beautifully written dear girl, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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I can't remember anyone writing of ghosts, ghouls and nasty wraiths on fanstory before, but you did it very well indeed Carol, in fact, superbly well, so we have Sandra and Madeleine with completely different aims and goals, beautifully written dear girl, blessings Roy
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for your awesome comments, Roy. To be honest, when I started writing this story it wasn't suppose to be so "ghostly" but I always say my stories take on a life of their own. I am honored that you think I have done this so well. Thank you so much.
Smiles, Carol
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Same
Comment from Teri7
I am so glad that they pulled her back away from those ghostly figures. You used great descriptive words and very good imagery with your words as well! love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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I am so glad that they pulled her back away from those ghostly figures. You used great descriptive words and very good imagery with your words as well! love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Thanks Teri...Writing this ghost stuff is harder than I thought. I scare myself! LOL... And I don't want anything horrible to happen but I need to scare the reader now and then...I think that's how this stuff works.
Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
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lol Just admit it dear friend. This is not your style of writing. I don't like horror at all. I have always enjoyed your work, but horror is not my thing! love and blessings, Teri
Comment from FurryBunny
These chapters are expertly crafted, with a well-balanced mix of action, dialogue, and introspection that keeps the story moving at a steady pace. The writing is clear and concise, with a strong attention to detail that brings the setting and characters to life in a subtle yet effective way. The author's skill in character development shines through, as each character feels fully realized and multi-dimensional. Overall, these chapters are a pleasure to read, and showcase the writer's talent for storytelling.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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These chapters are expertly crafted, with a well-balanced mix of action, dialogue, and introspection that keeps the story moving at a steady pace. The writing is clear and concise, with a strong attention to detail that brings the setting and characters to life in a subtle yet effective way. The author's skill in character development shines through, as each character feels fully realized and multi-dimensional. Overall, these chapters are a pleasure to read, and showcase the writer's talent for storytelling.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read my chapter and to leave your comments. Appreciate it very much. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's late in the week and you're still putting out chapters that make an old reader's butt pucker with excitement. And just in the nick-of-time it appears there might be a last second escape. LOL. Have a great weekend!
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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It's late in the week and you're still putting out chapters that make an old reader's butt pucker with excitement. And just in the nick-of-time it appears there might be a last second escape. LOL. Have a great weekend!
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Having an expensive ordeal going on with my well, pressure tank, etc. so to keep my mind off the $$$ I am trying to write. Those ghosts are wreaking havoc on me in the story and here. LOL Hope you are doing fine.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
This is scary. I hope you know where it is going and aren't waiting on your muse to tell you because I don't want to be left wondering what happens next. lol You have a way of making it hard to wait of you next chapter.
Betj
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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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This is scary. I hope you know where it is going and aren't waiting on your muse to tell you because I don't want to be left wondering what happens next. lol You have a way of making it hard to wait of you next chapter.
Betj
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Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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What an awesome comment, Beth. Thank you for telling me that I can throw out the hook and you will be waiting for the next one..... Love it! Appreciate your kindness.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Great writing in this post. I can't wait to see who was there. I'm afraid it's Madeline, but I sure hope not. Maybe Lorrie.
Sandra's voice trembled as she clutched her pillow tightly, her eyes scanning the darkened room. (adverb needs to be as close to the verb as possible, clutched tight, but here I think clutched takes care of it and you don't need tightly.)
She sighed, "I don't want to wake up if I'm dreaming." (sighed.)
Besides, I'm leaving, so what's the harm of listening to see what that woman is up to?" ("Besides...)
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reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Great writing in this post. I can't wait to see who was there. I'm afraid it's Madeline, but I sure hope not. Maybe Lorrie.
Sandra's voice trembled as she clutched her pillow tightly, her eyes scanning the darkened room. (adverb needs to be as close to the verb as possible, clutched tight, but here I think clutched takes care of it and you don't need tightly.)
She sighed, "I don't want to wake up if I'm dreaming." (sighed.)
Besides, I'm leaving, so what's the harm of listening to see what that woman is up to?" ("Besides...)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2024
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Hello, Barbara... thank you as always for being on top of everything and helping me out, I've fixed and changed per your suggestions. I forgot that this is a new month, so I will be sure and nominate again. Glad you enjoyed the chapter. These ghost stories aren't easy to write.
Smiles, Carol