Return To Concorde Valley
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "The Tunnel's End"Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
20 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
Good artwork and excellent chapter to go with it, Rhonda. You do a great job describing the scene, and letting us see and feel the emotions of Phillip and Echo. You set the scene well as Hades has the crowd under his spell, and Echo is remembering her dream, also being swayed by his voice at the current time.
Phillip does a good job of keeping her informed and explaining what is going one, and what the goal of Hades is. Poor Hannah is in a horrible state since she had been made incapable of doing anything, and Phillip and Echo can only look on, but then a plan begins to form.
Echo has some good ideas and shares them with Phillip, getting him to understand her logic. It is a risk, but there isn't any choice if they want to try and get Hannah back. It must have been gut wrenching for Phillip to listen to what his plans were for Hannah. He listened to Echo, and his accuracy with the knife was just what it needed to be-perfect. The ending was good, but I wanted more!!! Hopefully, we will learn about the rescue of Hannah.
Very well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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Good artwork and excellent chapter to go with it, Rhonda. You do a great job describing the scene, and letting us see and feel the emotions of Phillip and Echo. You set the scene well as Hades has the crowd under his spell, and Echo is remembering her dream, also being swayed by his voice at the current time.
Phillip does a good job of keeping her informed and explaining what is going one, and what the goal of Hades is. Poor Hannah is in a horrible state since she had been made incapable of doing anything, and Phillip and Echo can only look on, but then a plan begins to form.
Echo has some good ideas and shares them with Phillip, getting him to understand her logic. It is a risk, but there isn't any choice if they want to try and get Hannah back. It must have been gut wrenching for Phillip to listen to what his plans were for Hannah. He listened to Echo, and his accuracy with the knife was just what it needed to be-perfect. The ending was good, but I wanted more!!! Hopefully, we will learn about the rescue of Hannah.
Very well done, my friend.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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Hi Pam,
Thank you for the six stars and comments. You were very specific about what worked.
I?m glad the scene was set well. I was trying to do just that.
Hannah is in a bad state, forcing Echo and Phillip to make some very hard choices.
Phillip is good with a knife, but I think adrenaline helped his aim, lol.
Thanks again my friend,
Rhonda
I?m glad you liked the artwork. It really seemed to fit a young man with deep thoughts.
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. You have captured hearts with young Hannah.
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Awww, thank you so much!!
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You are welcome. I know you will take good care of Hannah and her bunnies.
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Them anyway, lol.
Comment from Ric Myworld
A fourteen-year-old to the rescue by throwing a knife, a skill that takes a long time to achieve. And Echo's search mission move on. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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A fourteen-year-old to the rescue by throwing a knife, a skill that takes a long time to achieve. And Echo's search mission move on. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much for the review, Ric. To be honest, I think it was a lucky shot. I'll have to write that into the story.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from lancellot
This is well written. I would recommend moving the line where Phillip tells Echo Hades is going to kill Hannah right now. There seems to be a lot of dialogue (time spent) after that and before Phillip throws his knife.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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This is well written. I would recommend moving the line where Phillip tells Echo Hades is going to kill Hannah right now. There seems to be a lot of dialogue (time spent) after that and before Phillip throws his knife.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Hi Lance,
Thank you for reading my chapter!! I think you're right about the timing in the story. I'll have to work on it to make it sound more logical.
Take care,
and thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Your superb story races on with a momentum all of its own. You inject such colour and imagination into the plot and indulge us in this fantasy with mythical gods, brave and adventurous youngsters, a family of rabbits, Sunny the cat. And yet your excellent dialogue and magical skill make it all infinitely credible. Love the character of Hades and his hypnotic and evil traits. And the danger that now exists for Echo which has reached a critical point at the end of this chapter. The only edits I could find were: w(ie)lded; she noticed the child si(tt)ing) motion(le)ss. Thanks so much for sharing your impressive fiction, Rhonda. Take care Debbie xo
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Your superb story races on with a momentum all of its own. You inject such colour and imagination into the plot and indulge us in this fantasy with mythical gods, brave and adventurous youngsters, a family of rabbits, Sunny the cat. And yet your excellent dialogue and magical skill make it all infinitely credible. Love the character of Hades and his hypnotic and evil traits. And the danger that now exists for Echo which has reached a critical point at the end of this chapter. The only edits I could find were: w(ie)lded; she noticed the child si(tt)ing) motion(le)ss. Thanks so much for sharing your impressive fiction, Rhonda. Take care Debbie xo
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Hi Debbie,
Thank you so much for the lovely review. I like the remark about the momentum, that is important.
Important, as well, is the time you always spend on my chapters. I do very much appreciate you!! You do a great job telling about characters, setting and effect on the reader.
You, also, find my typos. I corrected them right away. I'm always amazed at how many times I can read something, and still I miss some small things. But, there they are, all missed.
Hugs,
Rhonda
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I only have to write a review to discover I'm becoming very dyslexic and between English and American spelling I'm losing any sense of the command I thought I once had:(( It's easier to find others' typos than our own sometimes.xx
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Yeah, I agree. I think you just keep looking at something, knowing what you mean, then don't see the mistakes. Thank you for being so good about letting me know.
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine chapter, Rhonda, Hades is one bad dark side dude.I wonder if charging rabbits will put the fear of Trump into him? It should say God, but there's a New dude to be worshipped in town!
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Another fine chapter, Rhonda, Hades is one bad dark side dude.I wonder if charging rabbits will put the fear of Trump into him? It should say God, but there's a New dude to be worshipped in town!
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Hi Mike!! Trump is Hades, only Hades is more handsome!!
Comment from Sally Law
Rhonda dear,
Wow, again! I held my breath at the suspenseful ending. These two did serious damage to Hades; however, we wonder if he will be weakned or just angered. You developed young Philip's character so we'll. He's much like Theo. I'm stuck to this book like glue!
Two typos my reader caught.
She noticed the child [sittling motionelss] and her heart went out to her. Probably sitting motionless. Easily fixed in edit. :))
Sending you my best today as always, my friend, and love across the bridge.
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Rhonda dear,
Wow, again! I held my breath at the suspenseful ending. These two did serious damage to Hades; however, we wonder if he will be weakned or just angered. You developed young Philip's character so we'll. He's much like Theo. I'm stuck to this book like glue!
Two typos my reader caught.
She noticed the child [sittling motionelss] and her heart went out to her. Probably sitting motionless. Easily fixed in edit. :))
Sending you my best today as always, my friend, and love across the bridge.
Sal XOs
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Hi Sally,
Thank you for the lovely six stars, my friend!
How did you like the artwork for Phillip?
The two did do damage to Hades, but I fear they just ticked him off. Still, he gets a prize for his suffering, but, then that's another chapter.
I fixed the typos. Thanks to your reader for catching it. Thank you reader!!
Much love across the bridge, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is getting intense. I really like this story. You're doing a great job with it. I couldn't find any way to improve it and I can't wait for the next post. Thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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This is getting intense. I really like this story. You're doing a great job with it. I couldn't find any way to improve it and I can't wait for the next post. Thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Barbara, thank you so much for the six stars. You are so sweet to keep up with reading the chapters and to always share your comments and stars!!
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment from hullabaloo22
This was so well written that it did not matter that I'd not read the previous chapters to find it a riveting read. I thought you did a great job with Phillip and Echo, but really stood out was your description of Hades.
Well worth the six stars!
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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This was so well written that it did not matter that I'd not read the previous chapters to find it a riveting read. I thought you did a great job with Phillip and Echo, but really stood out was your description of Hades.
Well worth the six stars!
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Hi friend,
Thank you so much for the brilliant 6 stars, my friend, especially as this was your first chapter to read. I am deeply honored!! I hope you return and read more.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Begin Again
Bravo! Echo will entice Hades until the others escape, but she puts her own life at risk at the same time. Will he be mesmerized by her as she is of him? You are doing an awesome job of holding my attention.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Bravo! Echo will entice Hades until the others escape, but she puts her own life at risk at the same time. Will he be mesmerized by her as she is of him? You are doing an awesome job of holding my attention.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Hi Carol, thank you so much for reviewing this chapter. She does put her life at risk and she's not as afraid of Hades as she aught to be...
I'm glad I can hold your attention!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from royowen
So it looks like Hades plans to sacrifice Hannah to achieve his evil desires, as the knife hits Hades in the chest up to the hilt, and this promotes Echo's chance with the help of the rabbits to foil the plans of Hades, well done, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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So it looks like Hades plans to sacrifice Hannah to achieve his evil desires, as the knife hits Hades in the chest up to the hilt, and this promotes Echo's chance with the help of the rabbits to foil the plans of Hades, well done, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the review, Roy! You got the gist of the chapter!
Take care,
Rhonda
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Welcome Rhonda