The Unwilling Heir
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Unwilling Heir - Chap 5"A Mysterious Inheritance and Murders
15 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Oh, one secret after another, it looks like there is more to come. LOL. Which I surely figured. I'm just glad that you didn't shelve the story like you said before, because I can't wait to read more. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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Oh, one secret after another, it looks like there is more to come. LOL. Which I surely figured. I'm just glad that you didn't shelve the story like you said before, because I can't wait to read more. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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Thank you so much, Ric. I needed my spirits lifted especially after some of the PMs I received... I've been on this site since 2009 and never been attacked like that. Oh well, I can't please them all I guess. Thanks for sticking with me. I appreciate it very much.
Smiles, Carol
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I can't imagine any negativity toward anything you've ever write, unless it might be from jealousy or envy. Sadly, not everyone is as nice as they might seem. I hope it's warmed up and the sun's doing its job for your beach party. :-)
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Thank you...We leave my granddaughter's house tonight...she's a new manager so had to stick around for a few things, but that's okay because they are calling for high 70's...that's better than the 30s-40s at home....and sunny.
Take care and enjoy the weekend.
HAPPY EASTER.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I love the story. You're doing a good job.
James raised his left eyebrow, followed by a slight frown. "So much for tabling the questions," he said.
"Sorry, I'm just trying to understand w (two dialogues in same paragraph)
He was calmer when he spoke again. "You haven't seen (again,)
She gasped, "Murdered? (gasped.)
She could see he was in uniform. (What kind of uniform??? as I read further I found out what uniform)
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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I love the story. You're doing a good job.
James raised his left eyebrow, followed by a slight frown. "So much for tabling the questions," he said.
"Sorry, I'm just trying to understand w (two dialogues in same paragraph)
He was calmer when he spoke again. "You haven't seen (again,)
She gasped, "Murdered? (gasped.)
She could see he was in uniform. (What kind of uniform??? as I read further I found out what uniform)
Comment Written 28-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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Here I am again... I don't know if I will get any writing done but the girls are keeping me busy. They like me to cook...mom is always rushing so her dinners are limited to days off and I give them more treats. That's what Nana's are for, right?
SMILES AND HUGS, CAROL
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Yes, our job is to complete enjoy them and then let someone else raise them. LOL
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Amen!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Carol, this is an incredible story! The more the bodies keep turning up, the more suspicious it become of the murder being involved in all the deaths. And the policeman, of course he'll be involved, but at the same time, I can't see Madeline wanting to share the 'fortune' with a lowly policeman, but he is very useful at the moment. Brilliant, my friend. You have such a fabulous imagination. Love and hugs, and hurry with the next part! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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Carol, this is an incredible story! The more the bodies keep turning up, the more suspicious it become of the murder being involved in all the deaths. And the policeman, of course he'll be involved, but at the same time, I can't see Madeline wanting to share the 'fortune' with a lowly policeman, but he is very useful at the moment. Brilliant, my friend. You have such a fabulous imagination. Love and hugs, and hurry with the next part! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 28-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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Very smart of you! She knows which side her bread is buttered on when she needs to get things done. The grandbabies are keeping me busy but when I finish all the reviews I am going to try and write another chapter....certainly not like the peace and quiet at home. But no complaints! I love them.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Gunner Lil
This chapter was a very long dialogue with zero sensory descriptions.
What were your characters dressed in?
What did the room look like that they were having tea in?
How old is John, the writer. Does he write children's books or newspaper columns?
What expression did Lorrie have on her face when she 'snorted'.
Your story is rushed...slow down and show us readers... don't tell us.
Thank you.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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This chapter was a very long dialogue with zero sensory descriptions.
What were your characters dressed in?
What did the room look like that they were having tea in?
How old is John, the writer. Does he write children's books or newspaper columns?
What expression did Lorrie have on her face when she 'snorted'.
Your story is rushed...slow down and show us readers... don't tell us.
Thank you.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024
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Thank you for taking the time to read my story and comment. Long ago, my style was to fill the chapters with description, but lately I tend to lead the story with dialogue. Most people have commented they like how it flows. I'm sorry that you were not pleased and I shall try to add more description to satisfy more.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Now she has learned the second of the men she was introduced to at the funteral is dead. She thinks someone was impersonating the Judge. She still doesn't know why the house was left to her in his will. It seems if he had transferred the deed to James it would be up to him to leave it to someone else in a will. I look forward to more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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Now she has learned the second of the men she was introduced to at the funteral is dead. She thinks someone was impersonating the Judge. She still doesn't know why the house was left to her in his will. It seems if he had transferred the deed to James it would be up to him to leave it to someone else in a will. I look forward to more.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024
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And he did, in order to get Sandra to come their because they need her help. They were tricky!
Smiles, Carol