A Jerusalem Spring
Jesus' last Spring befoe his death.29 total reviews
Comment from Boogienights
This is a beautiful poem, it reminds me of the true meaning of Easter and how much was sacrificed for us all. Are you a caregiver? Just curious, thank you for sharing. :)
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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This is a beautiful poem, it reminds me of the true meaning of Easter and how much was sacrificed for us all. Are you a caregiver? Just curious, thank you for sharing. :)
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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I am a counseling psychologist and I specialized in providing counseling to mostly children and youth who had six months left go live. Thank you for your review. -Bill
Comment from Mark Jackson
I liked the contrast between springtime and the final mention of winter time. I have been reading a lot of poems to review and although I like yours I did not find it as easy to read as some others. I think it is the lack of rhyme, obviously that is a choice. But I am finding a rhyme scheme is like the writer taking the reader by the hand and walking with them. I really felt that I wanted to walked through this journey.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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I liked the contrast between springtime and the final mention of winter time. I have been reading a lot of poems to review and although I like yours I did not find it as easy to read as some others. I think it is the lack of rhyme, obviously that is a choice. But I am finding a rhyme scheme is like the writer taking the reader by the hand and walking with them. I really felt that I wanted to walked through this journey.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Mark, frankly I find it difficult to follow your train of thought. Free verse poetry is an art all by itself and it shouldn't be compared to rhyme. Yet, you have apparently given this poem a four because it doesn't rhyme and it doesn't take you by the hand as you seem to need. You mention the spring-winter contrast. What is it that you liked? Did you catch the meaning behind "winter?" It would have been helpful if you had reviewed this for what it is instead of what it is not. That aside, Idfisoossbjp9ddp you position odsiafhf 9o 9dfop[ìsgfg
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I'm sorry I am new here and I thought a four star review meant good. I have looked into this and saw that it adds needs work. Just because I did not like it as much as some others does not mean it needs work. I have therefore adjusted this to a five. Thank you for your understanding.
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Mark, I hope you will consider becoming one of my fans. I would value having you review pieces I put on FS. Bill
Comment from gramalot8
I would like to think that God and Jesus chose this season for His sacrifice for us. Out of His sacrifice is the beauty and thiught of rebirth fir all of us when it's needed... like the rebirth found in springtime. Thank you for sharing this message with us.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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I would like to think that God and Jesus chose this season for His sacrifice for us. Out of His sacrifice is the beauty and thiught of rebirth fir all of us when it's needed... like the rebirth found in springtime. Thank you for sharing this message with us.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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I like the way you think. And thank you for your review. -Bill
Comment from jake cosmos aller
nice poem for easter captures the meaning of Easter. good use of poetic techniques including Meter: The poem is written in iambic tetrameter, with each line typically having eight syllables and four iambs (unstressed-stressed pattern).
Poetic Techniques:
â?¢ Alliteration: "scented verdant glade," "mainsail fully trimmed."
â?¢ Assonance: "days of sail long passed."
â?¢ Imagery: Vivid descriptions of sailing, the sea, and aging.
â?¢ Metaphor: Comparing life to a journey and sailing.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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nice poem for easter captures the meaning of Easter. good use of poetic techniques including Meter: The poem is written in iambic tetrameter, with each line typically having eight syllables and four iambs (unstressed-stressed pattern).
Poetic Techniques:
â?¢ Alliteration: "scented verdant glade," "mainsail fully trimmed."
â?¢ Assonance: "days of sail long passed."
â?¢ Imagery: Vivid descriptions of sailing, the sea, and aging.
â?¢ Metaphor: Comparing life to a journey and sailing.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Jake, this is the most unique and informative review I've ever had. Thank you. Story is my strength but poetry is my love. To get such a favorable review from you is almost a relief! Again, I appreciated your lesson on what I didn't know I had done. -Bill
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one thing I discovered a few months ago is that Microsoft AI chat bot and Google's Gemmini does a great job of poetry analysis I usually provide the text and ask it to analyize the poem according to the following criteria Please analyze the following poem indicating meter, if any, poetic techniques used, diction, theme, tone, word count, syllable count by line, (spell out each line indicating syllable, word count per line, poetic schools, influences, and possible forms..
do a complete line-by-line analysis indicating word count, syllable count, and rhyming scheme if any using letters, and meters per line
also does a great job of recommending additional things to read and does a good job of finding your work on line
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This poem is full o empathy. Forgive me if I;m repeating but I'm Greek Orthodox so our easter calendar is after Passover each year. It will be May 5th but it's the same Resurrection and Same Christ. I think of these things too, others suffering even as sunny days happen. Jesus truly suffered for us, and we should honor Him by Loving One A mother not dividing, We even fight over wars fight on top of fight Your poem is important. Thank you for sharing it.
Best wishes,
Alex
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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This poem is full o empathy. Forgive me if I;m repeating but I'm Greek Orthodox so our easter calendar is after Passover each year. It will be May 5th but it's the same Resurrection and Same Christ. I think of these things too, others suffering even as sunny days happen. Jesus truly suffered for us, and we should honor Him by Loving One A mother not dividing, We even fight over wars fight on top of fight Your poem is important. Thank you for sharing it.
Best wishes,
Alex
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Thank you for your review, Alex. And I share your concern for Easter in Jerusalem this year. =Bill
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Thank you.
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Thanks, Alex. I think this poem is more than entertainment.
bill
Comment from Janet Foor
So sorry for the loss of your young friend.
Your poem is well written with Hope we feel in Springtime. Palm Sunday is so bitter sweet as we recall his triumphant entry into Jerusalem and yet we know where things as headed that week. Thankfully, glorious Easter morning is at the end of that week.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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So sorry for the loss of your young friend.
Your poem is well written with Hope we feel in Springtime. Palm Sunday is so bitter sweet as we recall his triumphant entry into Jerusalem and yet we know where things as headed that week. Thankfully, glorious Easter morning is at the end of that week.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Thank you, Janet, for your review. And a blessed Easter to you. And, for this six. I'm working in the dark and didn't realize it until now.-Bill
Comment from Frank Malley
Although I am not religious, I understand religious longing and that is what this poem is about. The riddle of this poem is in the two lines that start "But not enough..." The wherefore of "not enough" is not explained, so the reader must infer for themself (wow does that feel awkward) what it is that causes faith to be insufficient. The theodicists would have a lively time with this inquiry. At the very least, this is an excellent poem.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Although I am not religious, I understand religious longing and that is what this poem is about. The riddle of this poem is in the two lines that start "But not enough..." The wherefore of "not enough" is not explained, so the reader must infer for themself (wow does that feel awkward) what it is that causes faith to be insufficient. The theodicists would have a lively time with this inquiry. At the very least, this is an excellent poem.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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For me, this is a time of introspection and a time to remind myself that I need more than myself to live a life of harmony. You raised up an area of my concern. Thanks, Frank, for a wonderful review. -Bill
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All the best, Bill. Frank
Comment from Jeano
...and a beautiful poem it is. Springtime is my favorite time of year. It's so full of new beginnings of baby animals and lovely flowers bursting forth. It beats the cold days of winter and the hot days of summer, and the messy days of fall. Yes, Spring it is, the best season of all. Thanks for sharing your lovely poem.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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...and a beautiful poem it is. Springtime is my favorite time of year. It's so full of new beginnings of baby animals and lovely flowers bursting forth. It beats the cold days of winter and the hot days of summer, and the messy days of fall. Yes, Spring it is, the best season of all. Thanks for sharing your lovely poem.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Thank you, Jean, for your review. -Bill
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You're welcome.
Comment from SimianSavant
Nice picture, color choice and write. The form appears to be open-ended so I don't have much for constructive feedback on that.
There was just one part I found slightly confusing:
I know this Man
spoke for all the truth
I have always wanted to hear
=> but not enough to live by. <= is this saying that you wanted to hear the truth, but didn't want it enough to live by it? Or something else? It might be worth clarifying. Maybe: "not enough to live by it"? Same thing above (But not enough to give
my trust to it).
Hope that helps,
SS
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Nice picture, color choice and write. The form appears to be open-ended so I don't have much for constructive feedback on that.
There was just one part I found slightly confusing:
I know this Man
spoke for all the truth
I have always wanted to hear
=> but not enough to live by. <= is this saying that you wanted to hear the truth, but didn't want it enough to live by it? Or something else? It might be worth clarifying. Maybe: "not enough to live by it"? Same thing above (But not enough to give
my trust to it).
Hope that helps,
SS
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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That line is purposeful. It calls for the reader to pause and try to grasp its message. Thanks for pointing out my favorite part of the poem. -Bill
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It was my favorite part too for its implication
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Bill, this poem is amazing beyond all amazing. It is so touching. It hits deep inside where it needs to hit. Where love and faith need to hit and stick. If I had ten sixes, this poem would get them all.
Thank you for sharing,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Bill, this poem is amazing beyond all amazing. It is so touching. It hits deep inside where it needs to hit. Where love and faith need to hit and stick. If I had ten sixes, this poem would get them all.
Thank you for sharing,
Rhonda
Comment Written 20-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2024
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Rhonda, you made me smile, and it's 4 in the morning. Thank. you for your review. -Bill
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It was a truly beautiful and heartfelt poem, my friend!!
And, 4 in the morning? Get some sleep, friend!
