Reviews from

Return To Concorde Valley

Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Echo's Mission Part 2"
Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.

16 total reviews 
Comment from Mike Stevens
Excellent
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Another fine chapter, Rhonda....this one has a bit of a Water Ship Downy vibe, mixed with Dr. Dolittle, in Philip. I salute you on your sticking to the novel, I don't seem to have that particular skill

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
    Hi Mike, thank you for your comments. I actually do have a hint of Water ship Down in this book, good for you on nailing that influence. Dr. Dolittle for sure, and half a dozen others.
    Thanks again,
    Rhonda
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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Well, I'm a little slow at times it seems, and I don't speak rabbit, or horse. But I'm catching on a bit as I read along and hopefully the farther I go, the better I'll get. LOL. Good story chapter. Thanks for sharing.

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 Comment Written 17-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
    Hi Ric,
    Thank you so much for returning to my fantasy story. I might even teach you some animal talk, lol. I always thought it odd that my animals were smarter than me. They know what I'm saying, but I've got little clue as to what their barks or meows mean. The bites I get, lol.
    Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from Faith Williams
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oooo, now Echo is getting into it! There is so much to like in this chapter, Rhonda. The gathering of animals is a testament to Hannah. A woman lulling a child to follow reminds me of 'Hocus Pocus'. It seems someone is forcing Echo to him. And Sunny! That part made me chuckle.
 
Love this sentence: 'These beasts were cute and fuzzy, the picture of charm, but bore a fierceness in their eyes that would have frozen an eagle in flight.'

Suggestions to consider:
'Was this a caracter flaw?' Just a typo-'character'

'Echo stood (up) and shook off discomfort and apathy.' The word 'up' can be deleted.

General suggestion: I feel like I've been harping on it, but consider switching out 'look' for stronger verbs: studied, examined, watched, focused, scrutinized. There is so much one can say with a 'look' simply by using a different word.

Another great chapter. I can't wait for the next one as I eagerly await who is the man in her dreams and why is he so concerned with Echo?

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
    Hi Faith! Thanks for the six stars, my friend, and for your review. I think the look is subconscious. I?m going to do a check on it next time. I removed several - ups- but guessed I missed one. Thank you, thank you, for finding them.
    I may have to alter the part about the woman leading her with music. I was going with the Sirenes on that one, but it does sound a bit like Hocus Pocus, lol.

    And Hannah is definitely bait!

    The man in her dreams, and holding Hannah, he?s complicated, lol

    I?m glad the part about Sunny worked. I was hoping it sounded natural enough, all things considered, lol.

    Thanks again,
    Hugs,
    Rhonda
Comment from Sally Law
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

THIS IS FANTASTIC!! Oh my goodness! I just didn't want this to end! I can't wait to find Hannah and I suspect Theo is there too. I love the talking animals and now Sunny is getting a voice. Every creature is joined in the fight for Concorde Valkey and knows of Echo's destiny. Too much fun!!

Wonderfully crafted, illustrated and presented. As soon as I saw the art, I said, "It's Echo Jones!"

Wowzers! You've out done yourself, my talented friend. I'm hanging on with both hands!

Sending you my best today as always, dear Rhonda, and love across the bridge.
Sal Xoxo's!




 Comment Written 17-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
    Hi Sally!
    Thank you for the lovely six stars and for all the sweet comments!
    I actually had a lot of fun with this chapter, and I?m so glad you recognized and connected with the picture. I thought it was perfect, too!

    Don?t count on Theo being the one holding Hannah. The kids are on their own right now (counting Echo as a kid, lol).

    I let Sunny be a little comic relief, lol. He will get a little more airtime for a bit.

    Love across the bridge, dear friend!
reply by Sally Law on 17-Mar-2024
    Oh, drat! I am so wanting Theo to pop back in! You keep the suspense at the maximum level, that, and I am addicted to this book! Love it! Staying tuned, my friend.
    Sal XOs
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Rhonda, it's such a great story you're writing, and I so enjoy the story line. What I also like is how all the animals can speak and think for themselves. Wonderful. And now Echo thinks she knows where Hannah is and who's holding her prisoner. A hug, Ulla xcx

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
    Hi Ulla,
    Thank you for the generous six, my friend! The animals will get a bit of a bigger role for the next few chapters. They have little else to rely on, lol.

    Thanks again,
    Big hug,
    Rhonda
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
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caracter flaw (character)

What a wild and interesting adventure you've taken the reader on today. I keep thinking of Alice in Wonderland and the rabbit hole. No decks of cards or a tea party at the end of this one, I fear. Hopefully, they stay safe.
Smiles, Carol

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 Comment Written 17-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2024
    Hi, my friend. Thanks for the review and comments! I know you?re a busy person!
    Safety isn?t in the cards for them, lol, Queen of Hearts and Alice included, but she will keep following the rabbit a bit.

    Take care,
    Rhonda