Saltwater Ghosts
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Artie the Spy"Young girl with special abilities.
16 total reviews
Comment from royowen
It's the sort of things all girls go through when the arrive at when that sub pubescent time comes. I know that from my two girls, although they were never bo mad at any time, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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It's the sort of things all girls go through when the arrive at when that sub pubescent time comes. I know that from my two girls, although they were never bo mad at any time, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much, Roy. Gretchen
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Most welcome
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Most welcome
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
It's tough for a child to be told to keep a grown-up's secrets, and it's wrong for a grown-up to expect it. To do that means Heddy might have to tell lies to people, like her mother and friends, and that would be the beginning of the end to Heddy's delightful innocence and a step into deceit. Already she is wondering if her nonni is lying to her. Growing up in an adult world is hard, as Heddy is beginning to understand that now. You've written this so well, Gretchen, keeping it true to Heddy's percerption of growing up. Well done, I really enjoyed reading this chapter. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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It's tough for a child to be told to keep a grown-up's secrets, and it's wrong for a grown-up to expect it. To do that means Heddy might have to tell lies to people, like her mother and friends, and that would be the beginning of the end to Heddy's delightful innocence and a step into deceit. Already she is wondering if her nonni is lying to her. Growing up in an adult world is hard, as Heddy is beginning to understand that now. You've written this so well, Gretchen, keeping it true to Heddy's percerption of growing up. Well done, I really enjoyed reading this chapter. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Thank you, Sandra. I hate to see Heddys innocence go but I think it's inevitable. Gretchen
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Heddy is learning about grown up troubles and is not finding it fun. She was worried about having to play with a boy, but then he tells her she doesn't need to worry as he already has a girlfriend. Then Mr. Artie wants her to not tell anyone about him and that somehow doesn't feel quite right either. Very good attention to details as she discovers growing up has its difficulties.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Heddy is learning about grown up troubles and is not finding it fun. She was worried about having to play with a boy, but then he tells her she doesn't need to worry as he already has a girlfriend. Then Mr. Artie wants her to not tell anyone about him and that somehow doesn't feel quite right either. Very good attention to details as she discovers growing up has its difficulties.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Thanks, Carol. So glad you enjoyed thos. Gretchen
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Gretchen,
another awesome chapter, but it's mid week and I've run through my store of sixes already. I really enjoy the characters in this story. I like Lester, he's a good addition. It's odd that he didn't know when a tomato was ready, but if he's never been exposed to stuff like that, how can he know? You've got some gold in this chapter gal, like the issue of keeping secrets and now Heddy is wondering about whether or not her Grandma is telling the truth. Great job all the way around.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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Hello Gretchen,
another awesome chapter, but it's mid week and I've run through my store of sixes already. I really enjoy the characters in this story. I like Lester, he's a good addition. It's odd that he didn't know when a tomato was ready, but if he's never been exposed to stuff like that, how can he know? You've got some gold in this chapter gal, like the issue of keeping secrets and now Heddy is wondering about whether or not her Grandma is telling the truth. Great job all the way around.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2024
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I never worry about a six. I just love feedback. Thank you so much. Gretchen
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Another fine, natural post in your story here Gretchen as Heddy grows up in the company of adults. Much enjoyed.
A couple of edits:
Willis (said) told me I looked like I swallowed a quarter and broke out in pennies."
(Secrets used to (be) fun).
Love Dolly x x x
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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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Another fine, natural post in your story here Gretchen as Heddy grows up in the company of adults. Much enjoyed.
A couple of edits:
Willis (said) told me I looked like I swallowed a quarter and broke out in pennies."
(Secrets used to (be) fun).
Love Dolly x x x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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Thank you for the edits. I wasn't lazy this time and went back to correct them right away. I appreciate your kind review. Gretchen
Comment from Wendy G
Insightful chapter, and yes, keeping secrets can be confusing for a child, and sometimes dangerous. I enjoy the straight talking realism you give your characters.
Wendy
Edit: "Willis said told me I looked like I swallowed a quarter and broke out in pennies." (remove "said")
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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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Insightful chapter, and yes, keeping secrets can be confusing for a child, and sometimes dangerous. I enjoy the straight talking realism you give your characters.
Wendy
Edit: "Willis said told me I looked like I swallowed a quarter and broke out in pennies." (remove "said")
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2024
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Thank you, Wendy. I even proofread twice. Thank you for catching this. And thank you for this awesome review. Gretchen
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Easy to do. In my last piece I didn't notice an i missing from my title. I was about the 18th reviewer who picked it up!