Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Willing Hearts Chapter 3 B"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
27 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Goff
Hmmmm....I'm being extra careful especially since I worked a fourteen hour shift last night.
This should be a double three star rating. Ha! I fixed the other one. So sorry.
This chapter deserves a six anyways. It's very good and full of awesome dialogue. A+++. I like Seth and Emma, but I think this one is more up my alley.
Douglas.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
  |
Hmmmm....I'm being extra careful especially since I worked a fourteen hour shift last night.
This should be a double three star rating. Ha! I fixed the other one. So sorry.
This chapter deserves a six anyways. It's very good and full of awesome dialogue. A+++. I like Seth and Emma, but I think this one is more up my alley.
Douglas.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
-
It may be, but I think before long it will turn into a romance, no matter how much Noah objects. LOL
Comment from Ric Myworld
Placing ourselves in dangerous situations with bad people is always a mistake. Bad people don't have a conscience, leaving us unable to estimate their actions like normal people. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
 |
Placing ourselves in dangerous situations with bad people is always a mistake. Bad people don't have a conscience, leaving us unable to estimate their actions like normal people. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
-
So true. Thank you for the understanding. Sami is just learning that.
Comment from BethShelby
I'm enjoyed your story. I've noticed your men are protective, a bit pushy, and strong and the woman or vulnerable an stubborn and all shed tears. This lady is more daring than Emma. Most have dogs. This guy's personality is a lot like Seth's.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
|
I'm enjoyed your story. I've noticed your men are protective, a bit pushy, and strong and the woman or vulnerable an stubborn and all shed tears. This lady is more daring than Emma. Most have dogs. This guy's personality is a lot like Seth's.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
-
I believe everybody should have at least one dog. Sami has a habit of acting on impulse. Noah has a problem of being too stubborn. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
One can't help to like Noah who wants to keep Sami safe even though he's also trying to keep others safe as well. Good characterisation and excellently negotiated plot, beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
|
One can't help to like Noah who wants to keep Sami safe even though he's also trying to keep others safe as well. Good characterisation and excellently negotiated plot, beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
-
Thank you for the kind review.
-
Most welcome
Comment from Wendy G
Sami is a bit foolish to keep putting herself in danger so I hope she heeds Noah's advice. Big T will do what he threatens, if she goes back. Interesting storyline, looking forward to seeing how it progresses.
Wendy
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
|
Sami is a bit foolish to keep putting herself in danger so I hope she heeds Noah's advice. Big T will do what he threatens, if she goes back. Interesting storyline, looking forward to seeing how it progresses.
Wendy
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
-
Sami has an impulse problem. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
He is good at ordering her around and getting her organized, but I am not certain she will respond positively to his good advice. What fun that she had such a Chinese fortune when I'll bet all your readers are hoping it comes true, and so does Noah. One reversal: . . . night, just (a little) longer."
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
|
He is good at ordering her around and getting her organized, but I am not certain she will respond positively to his good advice. What fun that she had such a Chinese fortune when I'll bet all your readers are hoping it comes true, and so does Noah. One reversal: . . . night, just (a little) longer."
Comment Written 15-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
-
Thank you for the catch. I have made the correction. I appreciate the help.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I think your pacing, action, and characterization is great. I like your sense of dialogue. Because it is so well-written, the little fixes don't get in the way of a six-star rating in my opinion, but here are a few suggestions:
His head turned at a knock on the door and glanced at his watch.
I think this is slightly awkward, as if the head also glances at the watch independent of his eyes. So maybe try:
His head turned at a knock on the door, as he glanced at his watch.
Noah stood. "I'll help you clean up and since you're doing all right, I'll leave."
I would put a comma after up.
His eyes met hers and he swallowed.
I would put a comma after hers. That is due to having two independent (although short) clauses there.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
|
I think your pacing, action, and characterization is great. I like your sense of dialogue. Because it is so well-written, the little fixes don't get in the way of a six-star rating in my opinion, but here are a few suggestions:
His head turned at a knock on the door and glanced at his watch.
I think this is slightly awkward, as if the head also glances at the watch independent of his eyes. So maybe try:
His head turned at a knock on the door, as he glanced at his watch.
Noah stood. "I'll help you clean up and since you're doing all right, I'll leave."
I would put a comma after up.
His eyes met hers and he swallowed.
I would put a comma after hers. That is due to having two independent (although short) clauses there.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
-
I added those missing commas. I appreciate the help. Thank you.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi there,
Love the photo of 'Jasper.' It helps to have another visual to think about as I'm reading along. The storyline continues to intrigue me, and I'm always guessing as to where it's going - I love when I'm right, but confused when I'm wrong!
Thank you for sharing, and I'm already looking forward to the next part,
~MP~
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
|
Hi there,
Love the photo of 'Jasper.' It helps to have another visual to think about as I'm reading along. The storyline continues to intrigue me, and I'm always guessing as to where it's going - I love when I'm right, but confused when I'm wrong!
Thank you for sharing, and I'm already looking forward to the next part,
~MP~
Comment Written 14-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
-
LOL Good luck with this one. There are a few twists and turns. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nomi338
Poor Noah, he's got it bad and that is probably not good. LOL. What's a guy to do when your heart gets tagged, you can only follow along, fighting against it will do no good. In the long run, Holiday meal or not, your goose is cooked.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
|
Poor Noah, he's got it bad and that is probably not good. LOL. What's a guy to do when your heart gets tagged, you can only follow along, fighting against it will do no good. In the long run, Holiday meal or not, your goose is cooked.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
-
Noah will fight this the entire way. I think it's funny, but probably nobody else will. LOL Thank you for this kind review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Well, I think Noah's warning really couldn't be much stronger. What I don't quite understand is why he needed to apologise twice to her for Mr Big's violation of her when she put herself in that danger and, in fairness to Noah, he's doing all he can to protect her. It just makes him sound a bit weak while I think Sami needs to wake up a bit. But the story maintains its momentum as we wait to see how the next stage will unfold. Thanks for sharing your excellent write, Barbara. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
|
Well, I think Noah's warning really couldn't be much stronger. What I don't quite understand is why he needed to apologise twice to her for Mr Big's violation of her when she put herself in that danger and, in fairness to Noah, he's doing all he can to protect her. It just makes him sound a bit weak while I think Sami needs to wake up a bit. But the story maintains its momentum as we wait to see how the next stage will unfold. Thanks for sharing your excellent write, Barbara. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 14-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
-
Noah made the mistake of giving her the money out in the open. He have not done that. He knows that, but did it so help her with the prostitutes. Thank you for the kind review.
-
Oh yes, I remember that.
