Reviews from

Life, Death, Up, Down

Viewing comments for Prologue "The Heart Is A Desperate Gambler"
short stories

31 total reviews 
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That was a good story Jim, about the problems that a couple can face when the sparkes of romance flame but there are more things to think about.
Just one typo - So where sre you tsking (taking) me.
Congratulations on post number 300.
cheers
valda

 Comment Written 17-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 17-Feb-2024
    Thanks! I appreciate any concerns that help me to write and edit better and I appreciate very much your words!
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very engaging story, Jim! It flowed naturally and was over way too quickly. I wanted your story to go on. What did they decide? Did they marry anyway? Did love trump procreation?

Great stuff, my friend,
Hugs,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 17-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 17-Feb-2024
    When possible, I try for open-ended stories that leave the reader thinking. But, my personal preference is that they married, Maybe, if the muse allows it, I'll revisit them some day.
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 17-Feb-2024
    Sounds good!!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2024
    Your words ALWAYS sound good!
Comment from Julie Helms
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a touching love story. You covered several controversial issues... Interracial dating, having children with sickle cell genetics, but overall is was romantic (very fast romance).

A couple typo issues for you:
So where are you tsking me?" (Taking)
I can't doom as child to that!" (Doom a child)

I enjoyed your story. thanks! Julie

 Comment Written 17-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 17-Feb-2024
    Thank you! I truly appreciate your words and the concern. I fixed everything but the last one you mentioned, which I will do right away
Comment from Gunner Lil
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A fine story of two young college kids finding out what life is all about.
Very good dialogue that helped to move the story along. The tags were also good.
I hope her dad can understand his daughter's desire.
Thank you!

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 17-Feb-2024
    Thank you very much for your kind review
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Per the title, this story reveals the huge gamble this Romeo and Juliet couple would take because first, there's a family racism issue, then there's fears about genetic problems that doom their potential offspring, and yet if their love is strong, perhaps they can overcome it all. Best wishes in the contest and congratulations on your 300th post!!

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 17-Feb-2024
    I am very thankful for your words!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a nice love story although a doomed one, like Romeo and Juliet. Sickle cell anemia is a terrible thing for a person to have. Best of luck in the romance writing contest.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 17-Feb-2024
    Many thanks to you!
reply by Carol Hillebrenner on 17-Feb-2024
    I laugh myself silly about you going out with a fan and her yelling your name. Did this really happen?
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2024
    No, no woman would stalk me! I had the one in million, and now she's gone!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Congratulations on your milepost submission!
as he hoped to build up the courage to be a performer himself, one day. - You don't need the comma, but you might want to consider: ...courage to one day be a performer himself.
pouring water into wine. - I don't get the reference or symbolism
I thought this would be a 'forbidden fruit' entry.
Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2024
    Thank you for your suggestion and kind words. The reference came from the Bible when Christ changed water into wine. some people watered their wine to make it last longer and in Prohibition days, it was common practice to pour water into booze. My sister is gone now, but I recall her having a book titled "Water In The Wine" about a couple who were married but couldn't have children.
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good day, Jim

How beautiful, yet sad! A rose bud, crushed and left to fade away, before ever reaching it's wonderful potential. You wrote this with heart and truth... life doesn't always go as we hope.

are you tsking me?"

I can't doom as child to that!"

Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2024
    Thank you so much! I hope to always bring you smiles!
Comment from Lisasview
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good morning dear Jim,
Another wonderful story to read early this morning...LOve stories are always great...
Glad you are writing....
Lisasview..........

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2024
    I'm very thnakful! God Bless!
reply by Lisasview on 16-Feb-2024
    Well, I am back to writing... so I am also thankful...
    Lisa
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2024
    I have much to look forward to, now!
reply by Lisasview on 16-Feb-2024
    Sounds good..
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I found nothing offensive in your gripping tale of a budding relationship between two young people who are obviously attracted to each other. Despite the attempted intrusion of racism by the brother of Tabi, there is the possible trauma of disease. This could be a problem even if Matthew were African American himself. I am an optimist who believes that love conquers all. Leave things in God's capable hands and go for love always.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 16-Feb-2024
    Thank you! I studied under a writer in the 70s who wrote a Bill Cosby movie called "To All My Friends On Shore". In it Bill Cosby's son had sickle cell anemias and I wanted to write a piece on it to enlighten those who never regarded it before.
reply by nomi338 on 16-Feb-2024
    Good, I am well pleased with your effort.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2024
    Great! I'm thankful for your time!