Life's Twisted Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Life's Twisted Road - Chap 16"Pages turn, stories change, bonds crumble
21 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
The mystery and suspense just keeps on going. Every chapter is a nail- biter with lots of tension. Your description of the accident scene and responders, was clear, detailed and vivid. One bad player is gone, but there are still lots of elements to be resolved.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
  |
The mystery and suspense just keeps on going. Every chapter is a nail- biter with lots of tension. Your description of the accident scene and responders, was clear, detailed and vivid. One bad player is gone, but there are still lots of elements to be resolved.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
-
Yes, Lorraine, and it's a small town and rumors will fly, of course. Thanks for enjoying this chapter and feeling the tension of the situation.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
I'm going with it's not a sin to be happy someone died if that "someone" is a dastardly character...
Come on! Bobby had to be the casualty here, and Kudos for the way you deftly navigated us through this accident scene!
Now you'll be dealing with all the fallout of Bobby's drunken rage...
Poor Gabby!
Karenina
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
|
I'm going with it's not a sin to be happy someone died if that "someone" is a dastardly character...
Come on! Bobby had to be the casualty here, and Kudos for the way you deftly navigated us through this accident scene!
Now you'll be dealing with all the fallout of Bobby's drunken rage...
Poor Gabby!
Karenina
Comment Written 13-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
-
I think everyone was rooting for Bobby to reach his demise. Now, poor Judy lies in a coma and Dion is in critical condition with possible drug charges hanging over his head. And then of course there's Gabby and Audrey and so much more....
Smiles, Carol
-
Yes. But they are ALL in your hands. So, I can rest assured. Nobody delivers a story like you!
-
Oh, tell me some more lies...I love it! though I did hurt my shoulder a while ago trying to pat myself on the back for the few chapters. LOL Of course, I am joking. but I feel good about this story so far. Maybe it will be the one I self-publish just so I have one book.
-
Or....let's not be negative now. THIS could be the one you submit to a publisher who pays YOU to have the publishing rights!
-
Who's dreaming now!!! It takes a lot of money to get a publisher interested and I don't have that. What I did have I gave to fanstory. Such is life! But I know on Amazon or Kindle Publishing it's not expensive.
-
It cost ZERO so submit to a publisher. Well. Zero MONEY. You have to trust in your writing. THAT you should have plenty of!
-
I've never even looked in to the ins and outs of it so I guess I'd have to investigate or have someone who done it tell me how to do it. I do believe because this particular story carries a part of me woven between the lines that it would be a good place to start.
-
I've done it. I have time.... I'll send you some info over the next few weeks!
Comment from Teri7
Carol, This is a very well written chapter that is full of excitement. It is also got sadness in it too. You used very good descriptive words good dialogue. love and blessings, teri
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
|
Carol, This is a very well written chapter that is full of excitement. It is also got sadness in it too. You used very good descriptive words good dialogue. love and blessings, teri
Comment Written 13-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
-
Thanks, Teri...Yes, no matter how bad a person is, it's still sad that their life is ended and they didn't mend their ways. Thank you for the kind review.
Smiles, Carol
-
You are so right my friend. I enjoyed reading this. love and blessings, Teri
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Well, it seems the right people dies. Dion will struggle with proving he the drugs weren't his. Hopefully, Judy will help out. I sure hope so. This story just gets better and better. Thank you for sharing it with us.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
|
Well, it seems the right people dies. Dion will struggle with proving he the drugs weren't his. Hopefully, Judy will help out. I sure hope so. This story just gets better and better. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
-
Thank you, Barbara. Of course it's a small town and rumors will fly. Thanks for the thoughtful review.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. There sure is a lot going on in this chapter that will change many lives. I do not see room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
|
This is another excellent chapter. There sure is a lot going on in this chapter that will change many lives. I do not see room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
-
Thank you so much for your kindness and thoughtful review. I appreciate it very much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from patcelaw
This is a beautifully written story, and it kept my attention the whole way through as I was listening to it. I wish you the very best with all of your writing, and I'm looking forward to the rest of your story. Patricia.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
|
This is a beautifully written story, and it kept my attention the whole way through as I was listening to it. I wish you the very best with all of your writing, and I'm looking forward to the rest of your story. Patricia.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
-
Thank you so much, Patricia, for your kindness and thoughtful review. I appreciate it very much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Gunner Lil
Maybe seven stars if they had them.
Outstanding in every way. Super dialogue that moved this easy rear chapter along.
Non-stop action, tension, and conflict.
Wonderful sensory descriptions throughout the chapter.
Loved 'kaboom'.
Thank you!!
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
 |
Maybe seven stars if they had them.
Outstanding in every way. Super dialogue that moved this easy rear chapter along.
Non-stop action, tension, and conflict.
Wonderful sensory descriptions throughout the chapter.
Loved 'kaboom'.
Thank you!!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
-
Wow...I am honored for your review and the stars. Your thoughts about my effort in showing the action and moving the conflict forward were awesome and I thank you.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Julie Helms
Excellent action scenes. Great description of the accident and what happened. You had me holding my breath!
Now as I release my inner grammar-nazi. :-)
1. that once resembled the hood. The engine resembled a smashed tin can (I would only use "resembled" once this close together)
2. Good job, officer. (Officer. Cap it since it's replacing a name)
3. lowered over the drop off (drop-off).
Totally enjoying this! Julie
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
|
Excellent action scenes. Great description of the accident and what happened. You had me holding my breath!
Now as I release my inner grammar-nazi. :-)
1. that once resembled the hood. The engine resembled a smashed tin can (I would only use "resembled" once this close together)
2. Good job, officer. (Officer. Cap it since it's replacing a name)
3. lowered over the drop off (drop-off).
Totally enjoying this! Julie
Comment Written 13-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
-
Wow...I am honored by the stars and your review. I try not to repeat words close to each other so I thank you for showing me my error. As for the other two, Prowriting told me to change them. Grammarly and Prowriting like to argue a lot leaving me stuck in the middle LOL. Thanks so much though...because that's how I felt it should have been too. LOL
Smiles, Carol
-
I would give you six stars across-the-board.! Just don't have that many to share. But your story is fantastic.
-
Oh Wow...Just your thoughts that you enjoy that much plasters a smile on my face, for sure. Thank you! Maybe I haven't lost my mojo after all.
Smiles, Carol
-
Mojo firmly intact!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
One edit: you called Judy Julie at one point. It's the 13th paragraph in the chapter, I think. The story is very good. I am glad you killed Bobby off, but Dion is still at risk. Austin might adopt him, though. Judy has a chance to sober up now. Gabby finds out, that the house is almost paid for and in her name. Ideas. I am full of them. When people tell me I am full of it, I am sure this is what they mean! Good writing my friend.
:-) Karen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
|
One edit: you called Judy Julie at one point. It's the 13th paragraph in the chapter, I think. The story is very good. I am glad you killed Bobby off, but Dion is still at risk. Austin might adopt him, though. Judy has a chance to sober up now. Gabby finds out, that the house is almost paid for and in her name. Ideas. I am full of them. When people tell me I am full of it, I am sure this is what they mean! Good writing my friend.
:-) Karen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
-
Funny...I've been sitting her this morning toying with ideas for every character...some good, some bad. No rush though since I've run out of money to post for awhile... And my eyes are past the blurry stage. LOL I enjoyed your review and appreciate you catching the error. Off to fix it!
Smiles, Carol
-
On "My Secret Love, I had to edit several times a day. I am very bad at tenses, and Grammarly misses them. Grammarly is good for correcting my spelling and finding better words. I spell great, but I can write much faster if I don't have to stop and check constantly. You might want to read the story again. It is better. :-) Karen
Comment from BethShelby
You did a great job bringing this horror to life. What a terrible wreck. I'm glad everyone isn't dead. Bobby caused it but I wonder if Dion will be the one blamed since they found the drugs in his truck. I so glad you got the whole thing out in one chapter so we know who is still alivie. I look forward to more.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
|
You did a great job bringing this horror to life. What a terrible wreck. I'm glad everyone isn't dead. Bobby caused it but I wonder if Dion will be the one blamed since they found the drugs in his truck. I so glad you got the whole thing out in one chapter so we know who is still alivie. I look forward to more.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
-
LOL - Didn't want anyone to have a heart attack while they sat on the edge of their chairs waiting for to get around to telling them what happened.
Bobby's dead and now Audrey and Gabby have to be notified. And Jackson needs to follow up with Austin and then Dion and Judy if she wakes up. In the mean time, it's a small town and rumors will fly.
thanks for enjoying this chapter and for the stars. I really appreciate it.
Hugs, Carol