What We See
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "What We See - Chapter 9"A wrongly accused teacher reinvents his life
23 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm glad David/Alan and Tommy have a working relationship. I think it's going to be beneficial for both of them. I couldn't find any way to improve this post. Thank you for sharing it with us. I do like the story.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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I'm glad David/Alan and Tommy have a working relationship. I think it's going to be beneficial for both of them. I couldn't find any way to improve this post. Thank you for sharing it with us. I do like the story.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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You're definitely right about that, if for no other reason than that it brings Alan and Tommy's mom together too! Maybe there's a romance brewing?
Comment from Caroline M England
This is great Jim, a really good read which flows really well, has realistic dialogue, good pace and engages me to read along. I was slightly disappointed when I got to the end as I developed a genuine interest in the characters. I shall look out for the next installment. Thanks for sharing.
Best wishes
Caroline
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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This is great Jim, a really good read which flows really well, has realistic dialogue, good pace and engages me to read along. I was slightly disappointed when I got to the end as I developed a genuine interest in the characters. I shall look out for the next installment. Thanks for sharing.
Best wishes
Caroline
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Thank you so much, Caroline. If you think you may want to stay with the story, here is a blurb for it like you might see on the Amazon product page:
David Phelps is a mild-mannered, somewhat timid High School Physics teacher who is suddenly charged with the sexual assault of one of his students. Unable to prove a negative?that he didn?t do it?and after having made a dreadful slip-of-the-tongue due to his dyslexia, he is asked to resign. Without the resources or the will to fight this charge and unwilling to live under a cloud of suspicion, he resigns and must now decide what to do with the rest of his life.
His dyslexia plays a key role in the story as he befriends a young man much like himself as a youth, and together they develop an important new tool in the battle against this incurable disability. But this endeavor is fraught with problems of its own. With the help of the woman he loves, will David be able to battle the forces arrayed against him this time and fight for his new invention?
At the beginning of each chapter, there is also a recap of the previous chapter, which would be a quick way to catch up if you are interested in continuing with it. Still a long way to go.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
You're heading due North and the story is churning on its own. Tommy is a bright boy being eleven. I was into comics, and to understand what Alan would have said he would need to rewrite the dialogue to read like Humpty Dumpty. Gee, even today I haven't the foggiest what a soleboid is.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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You're heading due North and the story is churning on its own. Tommy is a bright boy being eleven. I was into comics, and to understand what Alan would have said he would need to rewrite the dialogue to read like Humpty Dumpty. Gee, even today I haven't the foggiest what a soleboid is.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Thanks, Tom. I think.
You mentioned a solarvoid. I think that's in deep space where there are no suns. Damn dark and cold there.
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I too must bee daeling with dsyxlia
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Loser Street? Oh, no! I hope this isn't a hint of things to come for those who live on it:-)
Of course, I haven't had a chance to read this until now, but I felt like I owed you a read, and wanted to get a taste of what you were working on.
As always, perfectly written and engaging. In the past I've learned all about golf from your novels; now it appears your readers will become better acquainted with electronics repair. Are you a handyman yourself?
Glad I popped in. Without having read the chapters so far, I have a pretty good idea, based on reading your character descriptions, what happened and who the accuser was.
I wish you luck in continuing this new adventure in writing.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Loser Street? Oh, no! I hope this isn't a hint of things to come for those who live on it:-)
Of course, I haven't had a chance to read this until now, but I felt like I owed you a read, and wanted to get a taste of what you were working on.
As always, perfectly written and engaging. In the past I've learned all about golf from your novels; now it appears your readers will become better acquainted with electronics repair. Are you a handyman yourself?
Glad I popped in. Without having read the chapters so far, I have a pretty good idea, based on reading your character descriptions, what happened and who the accuser was.
I wish you luck in continuing this new adventure in writing.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Thanks very much, Pam. So glad you dropped in. Here is the blurb for the story if you think you might want to keep reading:
David Phelps is a mild-mannered, somewhat timid High School Physics teacher who is suddenly charged with the sexual assault of one of his students. Unable to prove a negative?that he didn?t do it?and after having made a dreadful slip-of-the-tongue due to his dyslexia, he is asked to resign. Without the resources or the will to fight this charge and unwilling to live under a cloud of suspicion, he resigns and must now decide what to do with the rest of his life.
His dyslexia plays a key role in the story as he befriends a young man much like himself as a youth, and together they develop an important new tool in the battle against this incurable disability. But this endeavor is fraught with problems of its own. With the help of the woman he loves, will David be able to battle the forces arrayed against him this time and fight for his new invention?
Comment from tfawcus
I like the way this story is paced. The forthcoming meal with Tommy's mother provides a good hook and I'm interested to find out if Tommy takes Alan's advice re Artie and how it works out.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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I like the way this story is paced. The forthcoming meal with Tommy's mother provides a good hook and I'm interested to find out if Tommy takes Alan's advice re Artie and how it works out.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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I appreciate your remark about the pace, Tony, because there is another reviewer who seems to think it is too slow and is dying for some real action, which is coming in chapter 13.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
The writing is, of course, fine.
$30 for 20 hours? If it was me, an hourly rate would be easier to control. Too much opportunity for abuse on either side.
Sorry to be so critical, but would Alan really sent the youth into his private quarters considering the girl episode?
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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The writing is, of course, fine.
$30 for 20 hours? If it was me, an hourly rate would be easier to control. Too much opportunity for abuse on either side.
Sorry to be so critical, but would Alan really sent the youth into his private quarters considering the girl episode?
Best wishes.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Yeah, I had intended for the reader to assume it would be $1.50 an hour, and he wanted him to work 20 hours, but perhaps I should make that clearer.
I don't mind the criticism at all, Wayne. It is often very helpful. You made a good point about going into his house. I will think more about that.
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Of course we do the math, but as stated, it sounded too loose.
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I agree. I changed it.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
This is rolling along nicely. Perhaps "Alan" can have a problem he can not fix, he can't solve. We sometimes learn more from failures than from wins. Have a good weekend.Karen
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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This is rolling along nicely. Perhaps "Alan" can have a problem he can not fix, he can't solve. We sometimes learn more from failures than from wins. Have a good weekend.Karen
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Good thought. Coming up in Chapter 17 will be a problem he's not sure how to fix but will eventually find a solution for.
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This will help Tommy know that all of life's problems don't always get fixed. And it will remind Alan too. :-)
Comment from Wendy G
That's a nice arrangement for both of them. I hope Alan gets enough business to be able to afford to pay him $30 a week for the summer. Interesting story and character development, and very well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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That's a nice arrangement for both of them. I hope Alan gets enough business to be able to afford to pay him $30 a week for the summer. Interesting story and character development, and very well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Thanks, Wendy. I'm sure Alan's hoping that too!
Comment from royowen
So Alan/David is setting up his new business by employing and sending out Tommy Boardman posting flyers in strategic places to make sure his business will take off, while his relationship with Tommy's mum is rather promising, well done, Jim, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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So Alan/David is setting up his new business by employing and sending out Tommy Boardman posting flyers in strategic places to make sure his business will take off, while his relationship with Tommy's mum is rather promising, well done, Jim, blessings Roy
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Thank you, Roy. My wife had Print Shop on one of our early computers in the 80s. I had to make sure I wasn't creating an anachronism by mentioning it.
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Our first PC IN 1996,
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I was a programmer by the late 70s, and I think we bought our first computer--a Tandy--in 80 or 81.
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Wow that?s early
Comment from Julie Lau
Thanks Jim, you have taught me something about toasters. What a multi-talent! I sent my 1st submission to an agent yesterday. I didn't know - most invite submissions in only 2 months out of the year. I can contact another one next month.
Happy creating, Julie
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Thanks Jim, you have taught me something about toasters. What a multi-talent! I sent my 1st submission to an agent yesterday. I didn't know - most invite submissions in only 2 months out of the year. I can contact another one next month.
Happy creating, Julie
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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I don't know about most, Julie. I found a few who were like that, but most, who aren't currently closed for queries, have no restrictions I've found. Are you using QueryTracker.com to find agents? It's a very useful tool.
Advice I've read is that you should have at least 10 queries out there at all times, such that when you get a rejection from one, send it to another. Don't get discouraged with rejections. They are definitely par for the course. 99% of queries are rejected, and that's not just my experience. That is what's typical. Agents are very selective in what they choose to represent, because they then have to represent it to the publishers. It's a daunting task trying to interest an agent.
If you would like some great advice on the entire publishing process, Alyssa Matesic has great YouTube videos about it. She used to be an agent, so she knows the publishing business. She is now a developmental editor.
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Thanks very much for the information, Jim. My field of search is quite small as I am looking for an Australian agent. I'm unsure if there are even 10 in the whole country! Anyway, early days yet. I'll keep you posted. Ciao, Julie
