When Time Stopped
When a sudden loss occurs26 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
What a sad state this woman was in, and yet, anyone with a heart can understand how she could blame herself for her husband's death. This is a fabulous story, well-told, but also a warning. Words have an impact. While we do not often see this extreme reaction, we do need to be cognizant that what we say can harm.
This is an exceptional entry for this contest, IMHO. Eleven years --whew!
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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What a sad state this woman was in, and yet, anyone with a heart can understand how she could blame herself for her husband's death. This is a fabulous story, well-told, but also a warning. Words have an impact. While we do not often see this extreme reaction, we do need to be cognizant that what we say can harm.
This is an exceptional entry for this contest, IMHO. Eleven years --whew!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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Thanks Dawn. And you are so right. Words can hurt or heal. It's user
of words and our children learn...
I appreciate the review from the most prolific I know! -Bill
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:) My pleasure -- thank YOU!
Comment from Wendy G
That would indeed be very traumatic for her and it is easy to understand how she would be reliving her words constantly, especially around the anniversary of his death. Just as well you helped her, and gave her a measure of hope, to help her get started with her healing. Well written story. Thank you for sharing.
Wendy
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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That would indeed be very traumatic for her and it is easy to understand how she would be reliving her words constantly, especially around the anniversary of his death. Just as well you helped her, and gave her a measure of hope, to help her get started with her healing. Well written story. Thank you for sharing.
Wendy
Comment Written 09-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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Thank you, Wendy. She was a most interesting case and there is so much more to her story. -Bill
Comment from Wayne Fowler
That was trauma, all right. I can see that and I ain't even an expert. (makes no sense, does it?)
Well written.
Bless you for opening your door.
So what do you think, did the husband just decide to accommodate her? Or did she give him a heart attack?
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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That was trauma, all right. I can see that and I ain't even an expert. (makes no sense, does it?)
Well written.
Bless you for opening your door.
So what do you think, did the husband just decide to accommodate her? Or did she give him a heart attack?
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Wayne, you made me smile. Thank you. I placed third in the contest. He died of a brain aneurism. Actually, I am told he was great guy and the two of them were a well-known couple. You made my day. Bill
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Wow. This is a very powerful story. It is an excellent story for challenge! It has good descriptive words, imagery, and dialogue. This reminds me of my years working with teens with special needs, and their families. Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reviewing it.
Best wishes,
Alex
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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Wow. This is a very powerful story. It is an excellent story for challenge! It has good descriptive words, imagery, and dialogue. This reminds me of my years working with teens with special needs, and their families. Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reviewing it.
Best wishes,
Alex
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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Thank you Alexandra. This got third place. -Bill
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You're right time doesn't heal all wounds. This is an excellent trauma contest entry. I enjoyed reading and want to wish you luck with the contest.
Thirty minutes later, she came back into the living room, sat down and just stared at the floor. (you can omit 'down', it's understood.)
up a schedule of times we would meet, including the next day (the following day)
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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You're right time doesn't heal all wounds. This is an excellent trauma contest entry. I enjoyed reading and want to wish you luck with the contest.
Thirty minutes later, she came back into the living room, sat down and just stared at the floor. (you can omit 'down', it's understood.)
up a schedule of times we would meet, including the next day (the following day)
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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I was trying to direct the reader but readers imagination. Thanks for the review. It took third
placde.
Comment from estory
This is a moving portrait of grief. I think you did a great job of grabbing our attention with that pounding on the door in the middle of the stormy night. And then we are introduced to this woman who has all this guilt about a broken relationship with her husband, and is actually frozen in place and unable to go on with her children or anything. The ending is also quite poignant. She has stopped. I liked the image of the stopped watch. Nicely imagined and composed. estory
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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This is a moving portrait of grief. I think you did a great job of grabbing our attention with that pounding on the door in the middle of the stormy night. And then we are introduced to this woman who has all this guilt about a broken relationship with her husband, and is actually frozen in place and unable to go on with her children or anything. The ending is also quite poignant. She has stopped. I liked the image of the stopped watch. Nicely imagined and composed. estory
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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I'm trying not to get a swelled head from your review. Thank you. -Bill
BTW,I got third place.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written story. You used great descriptive and heartfelt words. When I divorced my first husband I had to see a counselor. I enjoy reading the stories you post on here my friend. Thank you for sharing. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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This is a very well written story. You used great descriptive and heartfelt words. When I divorced my first husband I had to see a counselor. I enjoy reading the stories you post on here my friend. Thank you for sharing. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 08-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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There some reviewers/writers that I have a special regard for and you aree one of them. Thank you.-Bill
BTW: I took third place.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Wowie zowie!! What a riveting story!! Your described every part of it with such vivid writing:
* heard someone pounding over and over again on my front door
*haven't been able to function. I can't live like this any longer.
*The storm outside and the storm inside seemed to be abating. [I especially loved that sentence.]
*It was eleven years ago yesterday. And it seems like it was only yesterday."
You did an absolutely exceptional job with this. I really hope it does well in the contest. xo
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Wowie zowie!! What a riveting story!! Your described every part of it with such vivid writing:
* heard someone pounding over and over again on my front door
*haven't been able to function. I can't live like this any longer.
*The storm outside and the storm inside seemed to be abating. [I especially loved that sentence.]
*It was eleven years ago yesterday. And it seems like it was only yesterday."
You did an absolutely exceptional job with this. I really hope it does well in the contest. xo
Comment Written 04-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2024
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Thank you for your review. It is only now that I could respond because we were not to reveal ourselves until the contest. I won third place! -Bill
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You could respond; it would just show up without your name attached to it until the contest was over. CONGRATULATIONS on third place!! That's fantastic!! xo
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I just wasn't sure so,I erred to the side of caution.
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I understand. The only way you give away your identity is if you reply to a notice in your inbox of a six star review.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
There are many things people do in life that can be amended or corrected and yet the spoken word, once released, seemingly remains on the loose forever, especially in the mind of those on the receiving end.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2024
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There are many things people do in life that can be amended or corrected and yet the spoken word, once released, seemingly remains on the loose forever, especially in the mind of those on the receiving end.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2024
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Especially if that word is forgiveness. To say it to oneself is the most difficult.
Thanks for the review. You read what I hoped would be in the spirit of this story. Nice going.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This is a good senerio to immediately capture your readers: "A moaning, sobbing voice responded as the person continued pounding on the door. "Please, please let me in. I can't live like this any longer! Please!" this all too often happens. I had a woman at our shelter whose mother had said you're going to be the death of me. When she died everybody said you killed her. The predictive statement had been made a couple of years before this. Everyone believed the lie. I had no idea our stories would be similar:She said, "It was eleven years ago yesterday. bwaaa
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2024
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This is a good senerio to immediately capture your readers: "A moaning, sobbing voice responded as the person continued pounding on the door. "Please, please let me in. I can't live like this any longer! Please!" this all too often happens. I had a woman at our shelter whose mother had said you're going to be the death of me. When she died everybody said you killed her. The predictive statement had been made a couple of years before this. Everyone believed the lie. I had no idea our stories would be similar:She said, "It was eleven years ago yesterday. bwaaa
Comment Written 24-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2024
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Thanks for your review and yes, this is wierd. I can't reveal my name because of contest rules.
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***Smile***
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I appreciate the validation. I've had people disbelieving: Eleven years?
Thanks for the review.
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I'd be interested in more