Miranda's Trouble In Paradise
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Another Call"Miranda tries to find Dougie.
19 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I loved these lines Gretchen and I expect you would like to say these words to your customers sometimes in the pharmacy when they get too big for their boots! You are inventive with your humour.
"I got herpes, too, but I don't go around sharing it with everyone. Now hit the bricks."
"Back off, Fred Astair. I've got one nerve left and you are on it."
Glad Dougie has found the courage to phone and he is still alive. It sounds like trouble is going to follow though.
Another fine chapter Gretchen, I was so entertained by your skilled writing, you have such a great talent, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
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I loved these lines Gretchen and I expect you would like to say these words to your customers sometimes in the pharmacy when they get too big for their boots! You are inventive with your humour.
"I got herpes, too, but I don't go around sharing it with everyone. Now hit the bricks."
"Back off, Fred Astair. I've got one nerve left and you are on it."
Glad Dougie has found the courage to phone and he is still alive. It sounds like trouble is going to follow though.
Another fine chapter Gretchen, I was so entertained by your skilled writing, you have such a great talent, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
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I felt like the old sharp tongue Miranda was missing. I had to let her personality show through. Thank you for this nice review. Gretchen
Comment from Liz O'Neill
It wouldn't be a woman's bathroom if it didn't have a line in front of it. I love this: "A balding man, doused in Old Spice cologne" These reflect the ere well: "And no coloreds after sundown'." This is excellent: "Grief does strange things to people. Maybe he just needs to blame someone." Good ending.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
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It wouldn't be a woman's bathroom if it didn't have a line in front of it. I love this: "A balding man, doused in Old Spice cologne" These reflect the ere well: "And no coloreds after sundown'." This is excellent: "Grief does strange things to people. Maybe he just needs to blame someone." Good ending.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
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Thank you. I've worked at giftshops when senior citizen tour busses have ascended and I can tell you, you tend to rethink your life some days. Lol. Being a senior citizen myself, I felt no guilt in these descriptions. Thank you fir this. Gretchen
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***Warm smile***
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Gretchen,
I enjoy all the little things that you add to your work that makes it seem so real, the old codger with too much after shave, the way Mr. Sterling shuffles back to his car, the dread of having to deal with a restroom after a bunch of folks have visited. Well done gal. Of course the icing on the cake is having Dougie call. You know how to tell a story gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
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Hello Gretchen,
I enjoy all the little things that you add to your work that makes it seem so real, the old codger with too much after shave, the way Mr. Sterling shuffles back to his car, the dread of having to deal with a restroom after a bunch of folks have visited. Well done gal. Of course the icing on the cake is having Dougie call. You know how to tell a story gal.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much, Tom. I feel my tears in retail have served me well in this book. Some interactions have happened to me, some have happened to coworkers. I very much appreciate this review and rating. Gretchen
Comment from Wendy G
What an ending! But at least it is Dougie and she knows without any doubt that he is alive. Sleazy senior groper needs to keep his hands to himself - he doesn't take the hint very well. Feeling for Miranda - she has a lot going on. Looking forward to more.
Wendy
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
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What an ending! But at least it is Dougie and she knows without any doubt that he is alive. Sleazy senior groper needs to keep his hands to himself - he doesn't take the hint very well. Feeling for Miranda - she has a lot going on. Looking forward to more.
Wendy
Comment Written 18-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Wendy. I'm so glad you are enjoying this. She does have a lot going on. Gretchen
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Tell him to hit the bricks. Act like a leaf and blow away. Take a meeting with him and have Mitch arrest him. Ask HIM for money, really nag him, that will keep him away. Tell him Mr. Starling is hot on his trail.
Those are things I would think about doing if it was real life. I can't wait to see what happens next. Good writing. Karen
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
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Tell him to hit the bricks. Act like a leaf and blow away. Take a meeting with him and have Mitch arrest him. Ask HIM for money, really nag him, that will keep him away. Tell him Mr. Starling is hot on his trail.
Those are things I would think about doing if it was real life. I can't wait to see what happens next. Good writing. Karen
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
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I think she likes fighting for people. Plus, she's thinking about answers for Waylon. Thank you for this. Gretchen
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Yes, that is a hindrance. Waylon deserves better. He abandoned Waylon. I will read you. Karen
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Ohhh my goodness!! And the plot thickens!! This was a fun chapter with the old folks. We all know someone like the guy crushing on Miranda!! You made it very light fun and a nice diversion. Of course, then we had to pay for it at the end, but hey, we all know what's free in life, now don't we! xo
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
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Ohhh my goodness!! And the plot thickens!! This was a fun chapter with the old folks. We all know someone like the guy crushing on Miranda!! You made it very light fun and a nice diversion. Of course, then we had to pay for it at the end, but hey, we all know what's free in life, now don't we! xo
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2024
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I needed for Miranda's personality to make an appearance. I feel like she's been a little drab this book. A bit too introspective. Maybe since she talking to a therapist her personality will start to reappear more. Thank you for this great review. Gretchen
Comment from damommy
That's certainly a surprise! Surely, we'll find out what's been going on. I wonder what kind of trouble he's in. Doesn't bode well. More for Miranda to shoulder.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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That's certainly a surprise! Surely, we'll find out what's been going on. I wonder what kind of trouble he's in. Doesn't bode well. More for Miranda to shoulder.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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Thanks, Yvonne. I'm glad you enjoyed this. And yes, now Miranda has to make the decision whether she trusts him or not. Gretchen
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Good story line. There is always a handsy old dude with every old people's group, and always a line of ladies at the bathroom door. The phone call is a real topper to Miranda's day. Well written with a good build up to what is going to ruin Miranda's days for likely several days.
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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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Good story line. There is always a handsy old dude with every old people's group, and always a line of ladies at the bathroom door. The phone call is a real topper to Miranda's day. Well written with a good build up to what is going to ruin Miranda's days for likely several days.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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Miranda certainly needs a break. I would have broken by now. But the story wouldn't be as fun to write if it was about me. Thank you, Carol. Gretchen
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Interesting story and this makes me laugh:"Twenty minutes later the octogenarian bus was pulling out of the parking lot.
I pull a quarter from the register and flip it in the air. "Heads or tails?"
"Uh, tails, I guess. What are we flipping for?" Rita asks.
"Loser has to go clean the bathrooms."" Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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Interesting story and this makes me laugh:"Twenty minutes later the octogenarian bus was pulling out of the parking lot.
I pull a quarter from the register and flip it in the air. "Heads or tails?"
"Uh, tails, I guess. What are we flipping for?" Rita asks.
"Loser has to go clean the bathrooms."" Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much. I'm glad I could make you laugh. I appreciate your review. Gretchen