Comment from damommy

Exceptional

This is precious! I don't think she was dreaming. You presented this story in such a way, it leads the reader along, never suspecting the ending, and the ending is a complete surprise. Delightful.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023

Thank you. I'm so glad you enjoyed this. Thank you for the extra star. Gretchen

Comment from Rachelle Allen

Exceptional

I would love to see where it's going, too. I already just adore this little girl (because I LOVE children who ask questions. They always grow up to be my favorite and the smartest adults of my life.) And, of course, her relationship with her grandma is riveting.This has phenomenal promise because you've set the stage so beautifully.

xoxox

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023

This little girl actually came to me in a dream. I could see her running across the dunes. Such a vivid dream. I'm so glad you enjoyed this. Thank you for the sixes. Means a lot. Gretchen

reply by Rachelle Allen on 31-Dec-2023

Of course. You know I love to support talent. xo

Comment from BethShelby

Exceptional

I love it. I hope you do write this book. It sounds like a book that will sort of lead you where it will have you go. It is off to a beautiful start. You are good with character development and these already have great personalities. I enjoyed the surprise of finding out Nonni is only therre for Heddy and passing out excellent advice.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023

Thank you so much, Beth. I'm glad you enjoyed this. I appreciate the extra star. Gretchen

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

This has huge potential I'm sure. We have a bright, inquisitive girl as the main protagonist; poignancy in terms of the deceased grandmother and the connection between the two and a wonderful seascape setting. I love the way that Nonni is so respectful to Heddy and doesn't dismiss her concerns about the teacher by saying, for example, I'm sure she doesn't hate you. It's a grown-up, intelligent discussion, unlike with Momma. Apostrophes - that(')s just a fact of life; Land(')s sake? An excellent start, Gretchen. Nothing I would change. Debbie

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023

Thank you so much. I appreciate the grammatical help. Gretchen

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Well done.
She wouldnt. - ooops
I think your Heddy has potential, could make into an interesting character. And Nonni could be, as well, maybe even with a physical nature.
Good luck with it.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023

Thank you, Wayne. I appreciate this kind and encouraging review. Gretchen

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Exceptional

This is a fabulous start to your new novel, Gretchen. This child can obviously see ghosts, and I do love this type of story and can't wait to see where you take us. I'm trying to catch up, but it's hard doing it on my iPad, and .can't wait to get home. Well done with the start of this one! Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023

Hope you recover quickly. Remember to rest. No matter how much I beg for a new chapter, rest. I'll survive. Lol. Thank you for this. Gretchen

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Gretchen.

I would continue with this. You have a good start to a story and if you don't have a concrete pattern, write another one or two chapters to see how it develops.

I think the relationship of all three characters can develop with interest.

John

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023

Thank you so much. I never have a plan when I start. I just follow along and write what I see. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Gretchen

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I love stories like this one, they come from the recesses of the mind, where they are manufactured and sustained by possibilities, who said the loved grandparent who was necessary to the developmental upbringing of a young one, I know my wife is beloved by all her grandchildren, she's helped shape them, beautifully written, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023

Thank you so much, Roy. I'm happy you liked this. Gretchen

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Exceptional

I love the wise words of the Grandma here, they are diplomatic and clever. This will teach the child to keep the peace and still have answers to her questions. A fine start to a new novel Gretchen, I wish you luck, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023

Thank you so much for this, Dolly. I'm happy you liked it. Thank you for the extra star. Gretchen

Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill

Excellent

This is lovely. I happen to believe that dreams sometimes are real. Just because they don't exist on this plain does not mean they aren't real. This little girl reminds me of me. I had teachers who didn't like me because I was "too smart for my own good" and asked too many questions. Keep writing. I will look forward to the next chapter. :-) Happy New Year.
Karen

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Dec-2023

Thank you so much, Karen. Glad you could identify with this. Gretchen

reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 01-Jan-2024

I enjoy and look forward to your work. Karen