What Happens When
There is only so much magic can do.15 total reviews
Comment from jim vecchio
I'll tell you what happens:
Dasher becomes a masher,
Dancer becomes a romancer,
Prancer, like Dr. Pimple Popper, becomes a lancer,
Vixen buys lollies and gets her licks in,
Comet writes a song and begins to hum it,
Blitzen buys a chair which he sits in,
Donner eats a a lot, becoming a one-tonner
and Rudolph comes down with the whooping cough.
You're gonna say I forgot Cupid! Do you think I'm stupid?
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2023
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I'll tell you what happens:
Dasher becomes a masher,
Dancer becomes a romancer,
Prancer, like Dr. Pimple Popper, becomes a lancer,
Vixen buys lollies and gets her licks in,
Comet writes a song and begins to hum it,
Blitzen buys a chair which he sits in,
Donner eats a a lot, becoming a one-tonner
and Rudolph comes down with the whooping cough.
You're gonna say I forgot Cupid! Do you think I'm stupid?
Comment Written 08-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2023
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Ha! That?s why you are one of my favorites, Jim. Your brain never stops. Like the Energizer Bunny.
Ha!
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I wish it would stop sometimes to give me a nice sleep. I don't think I've slept for more than a few hours in years!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent! Humorous and with a great and imaginative take on Santa and his reindeers when age takes its toll. I like the repetitive first line of each stanza and the monorhyme, all skilfully done and perfectly complying with the brief. Well done and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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Excellent! Humorous and with a great and imaginative take on Santa and his reindeers when age takes its toll. I like the repetitive first line of each stanza and the monorhyme, all skilfully done and perfectly complying with the brief. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 08-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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Thank you, Debbie.
Comment from Navada
Ha! I thoroughly enjoyed this! We can probably all relate to the prospect of ageing and how it impacts upon our previous abilities. The final line is a doozy! Good luck for the contest!
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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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Ha! I thoroughly enjoyed this! We can probably all relate to the prospect of ageing and how it impacts upon our previous abilities. The final line is a doozy! Good luck for the contest!
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Comment Written 08-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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The final line is a doozy!
Comment from namspoon
I love this, it is well-planned and rhymed. I do hate to hear about Donner's demise - I used him and his wife in my story "Santa and the Year of The Great Storm". And the Finish is great. Maybe you could get FedEx to use it for an ad on TV.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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I love this, it is well-planned and rhymed. I do hate to hear about Donner's demise - I used him and his wife in my story "Santa and the Year of The Great Storm". And the Finish is great. Maybe you could get FedEx to use it for an ad on TV.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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Ha! You were my only fan on this one! Thank you, my friend!
Comment from Janis M.
Santa has to get with the times. My son at 6 years old told me, "I don't believe Santa is real." I asked him how come and very matter of fact he said, "well, I believe he is real, but he does not fly reindeer. That's ridiculous. He just goes really fast."
Pretty soon Santa will be sending packages in Amazon.
I liked the creative humor here. Well done.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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Santa has to get with the times. My son at 6 years old told me, "I don't believe Santa is real." I asked him how come and very matter of fact he said, "well, I believe he is real, but he does not fly reindeer. That's ridiculous. He just goes really fast."
Pretty soon Santa will be sending packages in Amazon.
I liked the creative humor here. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2023
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Too funny! Kids are really on the ball but my 9 and 10 year olds still believe.