Eyes
The truth waiting in the secret archives.27 total reviews
Comment from estory
I thought this had plenty of style, I loved the imagery, and I thought the voice was taught with tension and emotion in articulating the look and feel of a communist society transitioning to a capitalist one and experiencing all the freedom as well as the disappointment. Little things like "The silence watching you, the dogs filing their reports" and "Whispers from the papers scratch at temples like dogs waiting to come in from the cold" really capture the sense of being observed, sinisterly, and the fear of who is watching you and what they might do to you. In the end, the lines at the stores don't end, the lies are just lies from other scources. estory
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023
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I thought this had plenty of style, I loved the imagery, and I thought the voice was taught with tension and emotion in articulating the look and feel of a communist society transitioning to a capitalist one and experiencing all the freedom as well as the disappointment. Little things like "The silence watching you, the dogs filing their reports" and "Whispers from the papers scratch at temples like dogs waiting to come in from the cold" really capture the sense of being observed, sinisterly, and the fear of who is watching you and what they might do to you. In the end, the lines at the stores don't end, the lies are just lies from other scources. estory
Comment Written 06-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023
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Thank you! I feel like you really "got" this. Your time and kindness are both appreciated.
Comment from Frank Malley
The objective of social order can lead practically anywhere. The processes of governance can promise rewards so enormous that the sacrifices to be made can be made to seem acceptable, or even desirable. Historically, this has occurred not only in Marxism but in endless institutional examples: religions, monarchies, autocracies, and even in strangely morphed democracies. When persuasion fails to maintain conformance, fear, rewards, or even avoiding inconvenience can supply the big motivators. Power does not readily agree to rescind controls; its tendency is to maintain and expand control, with the objective of manageable functionality.
Within years of its adoption by Russian factions, communism's leaders had become infatuated and compelled by the use of propaganda, power and fear to generate unquestioning obedience to state mandates. Somehow, the networks of power are always able to stay ahead of the warnings humanity should be given by education and healthy discussion.
In this poem, "Eyes," the windows of the soul give the reader access to the troubled and abused societies wherein autocracy has gained power.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023
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The objective of social order can lead practically anywhere. The processes of governance can promise rewards so enormous that the sacrifices to be made can be made to seem acceptable, or even desirable. Historically, this has occurred not only in Marxism but in endless institutional examples: religions, monarchies, autocracies, and even in strangely morphed democracies. When persuasion fails to maintain conformance, fear, rewards, or even avoiding inconvenience can supply the big motivators. Power does not readily agree to rescind controls; its tendency is to maintain and expand control, with the objective of manageable functionality.
Within years of its adoption by Russian factions, communism's leaders had become infatuated and compelled by the use of propaganda, power and fear to generate unquestioning obedience to state mandates. Somehow, the networks of power are always able to stay ahead of the warnings humanity should be given by education and healthy discussion.
In this poem, "Eyes," the windows of the soul give the reader access to the troubled and abused societies wherein autocracy has gained power.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023
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Thank you for this thoughtful review.
Comment from royowen
My best friend had a Communist dad, but he was the philosophical kind, a deputy principal he was a lovely book, my opening batting partner, I learnt how tho think because he taught, (I never adopted his political belief) he was a gentle man, but any system is corrupted by men, democracy has the ability to boot them out, so there is some accountability...but is there? You've written a great Poem, deeply interesting, well done, blessings Roy.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023
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My best friend had a Communist dad, but he was the philosophical kind, a deputy principal he was a lovely book, my opening batting partner, I learnt how tho think because he taught, (I never adopted his political belief) he was a gentle man, but any system is corrupted by men, democracy has the ability to boot them out, so there is some accountability...but is there? You've written a great Poem, deeply interesting, well done, blessings Roy.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023
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I sympathize with the question you ask at the end, and wonder about it myself. . .thank you my friend.
Comment from Navada
This is moving, disturbing, Orwellian and yet utterly unique and individual. You've captured the impact of communism so powerfully and the unsettling effects of the transition into something else, resembling a new and more open society but not really open at all. The motif of the eyes is so redolent and strikingly visual that it stays with you. Thank you so much for sharing this writing with us and good luck for the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023
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This is moving, disturbing, Orwellian and yet utterly unique and individual. You've captured the impact of communism so powerfully and the unsettling effects of the transition into something else, resembling a new and more open society but not really open at all. The motif of the eyes is so redolent and strikingly visual that it stays with you. Thank you so much for sharing this writing with us and good luck for the contest.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023
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Thank you for such a kind review!
Comment from Douglas Goff
We only seem to worry when they come for us. This is a strong and powerful piece of writing. I voted for it, simply because it was the best in a very good field.
Good job and good luck.
D
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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We only seem to worry when they come for us. This is a strong and powerful piece of writing. I voted for it, simply because it was the best in a very good field.
Good job and good luck.
D
Comment Written 06-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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Thank you friend, I truly appreciate it!
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
You gave us a lot to think about in this poem or free verse. There is one thing about writing free verses; you can put your story out there and explain your thoughts more thoroughly.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023
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You gave us a lot to think about in this poem or free verse. There is one thing about writing free verses; you can put your story out there and explain your thoughts more thoroughly.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2023
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Thank you Rosemary!
Comment from jim vecchio
I am humbled by this piece of free verse and how it towers in comparison to my entry. Each line is precious and I could comment on any of your words with meaning, so rather, I'll say you know the worth of your great work and if any of the entries deserve to win, its yours (or is the prize seeking too capitalistic?}
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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I am humbled by this piece of free verse and how it towers in comparison to my entry. Each line is precious and I could comment on any of your words with meaning, so rather, I'll say you know the worth of your great work and if any of the entries deserve to win, its yours (or is the prize seeking too capitalistic?}
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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Thank you Jim!!! You are too kind.
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No, it's just that you're a fantastic writer!
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Thank you my friend!
Comment from Wendy G
Interesting, different, and powerful. An excellent political statement about the abuse of power - both communist and capitalist. Powerfully written. Memorable image of the eyes!! Best wishes for the contest voting.
Wendy
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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Interesting, different, and powerful. An excellent political statement about the abuse of power - both communist and capitalist. Powerfully written. Memorable image of the eyes!! Best wishes for the contest voting.
Wendy
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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Thank you so much Wendy! I very much appreciate the six stars!
Comment from Mia Twysted
This piece was confusing to me. I didn't connect or understand. Then I read the note, and things began to make a little more sense. History needs to be explored and remembered so we do not repeat the same mistakes. This piece make me realized I should know more about the past.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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This piece was confusing to me. I didn't connect or understand. Then I read the note, and things began to make a little more sense. History needs to be explored and remembered so we do not repeat the same mistakes. This piece make me realized I should know more about the past.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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I'm glad the notes helped! Thank you for reading my poem. And yes, we should know more about the past!
Comment from Daylily
This is a very interesting and well-presented current topic posting.
I recently learned that my phone provider company is updating and installing fiber optic lines in all its customers' houses. I am changing providers this month.
The initial thought I had upon learning this is 1984. In Orwell's book, all residences were wired and the reigning authorities could see and hear everything that was said and happening 24/7.
This world is getting more alarming every day.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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This is a very interesting and well-presented current topic posting.
I recently learned that my phone provider company is updating and installing fiber optic lines in all its customers' houses. I am changing providers this month.
The initial thought I had upon learning this is 1984. In Orwell's book, all residences were wired and the reigning authorities could see and hear everything that was said and happening 24/7.
This world is getting more alarming every day.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2023
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Thank you for reading my poem. I don't know if this offers any comfort but I don't think it makes any difference whether your phone company uses fiber optic or not; either way ever since the Patriot Act all phone calls get recorded regardless of the means of transmission. In that sense using fiber optic is just like using traditional phone lines.