A COVID Christmas
What if...22 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nicely written. Good work.
When the receptionist finished filling out all the paperwork, a nurse settled Mary into a wheelchair. - uhhh. The receptionist left her standing (and in labor) until the paperwork was completed?
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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Nicely written. Good work.
When the receptionist finished filling out all the paperwork, a nurse settled Mary into a wheelchair. - uhhh. The receptionist left her standing (and in labor) until the paperwork was completed?
Best wishes.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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Thanks, Wayne, for reading and reviewing my modern Nativity story.
Comment from Navada
I really like the recontextualisation of the familiar story featuring a diverse cast and a very contemporary series of challenging events to negotiate. Very creative and well deployed. Good luck for the contest!
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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I really like the recontextualisation of the familiar story featuring a diverse cast and a very contemporary series of challenging events to negotiate. Very creative and well deployed. Good luck for the contest!
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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Thanks so much for reading and reviewing my modern Nativity story.
Comment from lyenochka
Ah, so that's why the narrator had a "carpentry" business and his wife's name was Mary! That's a great way to make the Christmas story relatable to our current situation. And now we wait for His second coming.
Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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Ah, so that's why the narrator had a "carpentry" business and his wife's name was Mary! That's a great way to make the Christmas story relatable to our current situation. And now we wait for His second coming.
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 30-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2023
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Thanks for reading, reviewing, and for sending good wishes.
Comment from Sally Law
Oh dear. This was hard to read as it reminded me of my Covid Christmas. Still, as a Christian I believe my life is in God's hands and I have survived much worse than Covid. I'm ready to go at any time because I belong to him. I sense you feel the same. Splendid writing, my friend.
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest, Sally.XOs
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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Oh dear. This was hard to read as it reminded me of my Covid Christmas. Still, as a Christian I believe my life is in God's hands and I have survived much worse than Covid. I'm ready to go at any time because I belong to him. I sense you feel the same. Splendid writing, my friend.
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best wishes for the upcoming contest, Sally.XOs
Comment Written 29-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Sally, for your words of understanding. I truly appreciate your thoughtful comments.
Comment from w.j.debi
You have adapted the Christmas story to modern times extremely well. Covid restrictions were inconvenient and aggravating, but you have turned them into a miracle.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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You have adapted the Christmas story to modern times extremely well. Covid restrictions were inconvenient and aggravating, but you have turned them into a miracle.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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Thanks, Debi. Aren't we all glad that the worst is behind us. Grateful for the six stars you gave my modern Nativity story.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Ginda,
What an exceptionally well-crafted modern-day version of the blessed Christmas story.
I read this passage three times = for it flow and ability to move along the narrative:
"Strange," he thought. But this had been an unusual evening in many ways. The unexpected detour due to a complicated accident, the snow that fell heavily impeding visibility, the argument he had had with his boss who insisted on changing his route. Why? What was behind these events that led him to this small town on the Eastern Shore?
Your characterization of Andy, Marcos, and Jamal was creative and, and once again I found myself smiling at the inclusion of the cellphones beeping to lead them to their destination.
Most of all, I was pleased to read that they "released their masks, letting them drop to the ground..." And that"All that mattered was the light that pierced the darkness, that offered the hope of a cure, that promised Salvation for all."
You can be proud of this one, Ginda! I surely enjoyed reading your work this morning!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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Hello, Ginda,
What an exceptionally well-crafted modern-day version of the blessed Christmas story.
I read this passage three times = for it flow and ability to move along the narrative:
"Strange," he thought. But this had been an unusual evening in many ways. The unexpected detour due to a complicated accident, the snow that fell heavily impeding visibility, the argument he had had with his boss who insisted on changing his route. Why? What was behind these events that led him to this small town on the Eastern Shore?
Your characterization of Andy, Marcos, and Jamal was creative and, and once again I found myself smiling at the inclusion of the cellphones beeping to lead them to their destination.
Most of all, I was pleased to read that they "released their masks, letting them drop to the ground..." And that"All that mattered was the light that pierced the darkness, that offered the hope of a cure, that promised Salvation for all."
You can be proud of this one, Ginda! I surely enjoyed reading your work this morning!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 29-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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Diane, your kind words of praise for my modern Nativity story really touched my heart. Thanks for reading and reviewing in such detail, and most especially for the six stars.
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My pleasure, Ginda!
Merry Everything this holiday season!
diane
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I was a bit slow but I twigged the relevance of the names by half-way down:) A beautiful story in its modern day version of the nativity. Love the backdrop of Covid and weather, giving the story a haunting reflection of the troubles surrounding this birth and the hope that it might in turn generate. There are some small edits: "our car well into it(s) second decade; "rapped on the window (to) ask or and ask(ed)?" Also, I think some of the dialogue might benefit from some contractions e.g. "it('s) freaking me out which would add fluency and maintain pace. But this is a great idea for the contest, in fact, perfect! And I wish you luck, Ginda! Debbie
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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I was a bit slow but I twigged the relevance of the names by half-way down:) A beautiful story in its modern day version of the nativity. Love the backdrop of Covid and weather, giving the story a haunting reflection of the troubles surrounding this birth and the hope that it might in turn generate. There are some small edits: "our car well into it(s) second decade; "rapped on the window (to) ask or and ask(ed)?" Also, I think some of the dialogue might benefit from some contractions e.g. "it('s) freaking me out which would add fluency and maintain pace. But this is a great idea for the contest, in fact, perfect! And I wish you luck, Ginda! Debbie
Comment Written 29-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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Debbie, thank you so very much for reading and reviewing with such care. I appreciate you catching the mistakes and offering suggestions to improve the dialogue.
Comment from Carol Clark2
I love this modern take on the first Christmas story. Well written, and very creative. "A child is born today" is a message as current as it was 2,000+ years ago, for it is the message of salvation. Best wishes in the contest. Carol
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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I love this modern take on the first Christmas story. Well written, and very creative. "A child is born today" is a message as current as it was 2,000+ years ago, for it is the message of salvation. Best wishes in the contest. Carol
Comment Written 29-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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Thank you and bless you for your kind words of praise for my modern Nativity story. I appreciate the six stars.
Comment from Wendy G
An excellent modernisation of the Christmas story in language and life situations that today's generation can relate to. Very creative and original. Love it. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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An excellent modernisation of the Christmas story in language and life situations that today's generation can relate to. Very creative and original. Love it. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Wendy, for your words of praise for my modern Nativity story. I appreciate your comments and the six stars.
Comment from Wendyanne
This is a very different version of the Christmas story but I found it interesting and enjoyable. I was definitely not expecting that ending as I didn't make the connection between the original story and this one. Good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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This is a very different version of the Christmas story but I found it interesting and enjoyable. I was definitely not expecting that ending as I didn't make the connection between the original story and this one. Good luck.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Thanks, Wendy, for taking the time to read and review.