...But...You Could Have
(The Last Laugh)24 total reviews
Comment from Mark D. R.
Mimi,
This was a real laugher and deserved the top place in the contest. Typically, I don't review long poems or stories, but I do look at the winners. Congratulations on your winning entry.
I COULD HAVE voted for you, but you did not write me a check!!! LOL
Mark
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Mimi,
This was a real laugher and deserved the top place in the contest. Typically, I don't review long poems or stories, but I do look at the winners. Congratulations on your winning entry.
I COULD HAVE voted for you, but you did not write me a check!!! LOL
Mark
Comment Written 15-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Hi, Mark! Thank you so much for your great (and funny) review of my poetic version of a little old lady joke! So fun to write and so happy you enjoyed! Thank you again for the compliments and have a wonderful week ahead!
Comment from Wendy G
Love it! Humorous throughout and very witty. Especially the twist in the last stanza. Would have loved to see his face! Unfortunately no sixes left. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Love it! Humorous throughout and very witty. Especially the twist in the last stanza. Would have loved to see his face! Unfortunately no sixes left. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 14-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Hi, Wendy! Thank you so much for the great review and am so happy you enjoyed - especially the crazy ending! Thank you again and have a super wonderful week ahead!
Comment from June Sargent
I absolutely loved this! It is disgusting how much they charge for a room these days. And this poem highlights this in a fun and humorous way. I think you have a true contender here for the contest!
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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I absolutely loved this! It is disgusting how much they charge for a room these days. And this poem highlights this in a fun and humorous way. I think you have a true contender here for the contest!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Hi, June! First, let me greatly apologize for the delay in thanking you for this grand review! I was away for the weekend at my first writer's conference (loved it) and just returned home! I am so happy you enjoyed my poetic interpretation of this little old lady joke (found on Facebook). It was great fun to write! Thank you again and have a wonderful week!
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A well deserved win!
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Thanks so much, June! Have a wonderful day!
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Oh my gosh, this is hilariously funny!! I never saw that ending coming!! I was sympathizing with the poor woman, and was wondering if it was going to lead to her being jailed or worse. The ending was perfect!!
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Oh my gosh, this is hilariously funny!! I never saw that ending coming!! I was sympathizing with the poor woman, and was wondering if it was going to lead to her being jailed or worse. The ending was perfect!!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 14-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Hi, Rhonda! First let me apologize for not thanking you in a more timely manner; however, I was away for the weekend at my first writer's conference and just returned. I am so happy that you found my poetic interpretation of this old lady's joke hilarious - especially the ending! It was quite fun to write! Thank you again and have a wonderful week!
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Oh wow, writer's conference. How fun!! I hope you had a good time.
I totally understand about being busy. My attendance on here is spotty at best, lol.
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Hi, Rhonda! Yes - it was great fun - I did not know what to expect, but there were some great workshops and met lots of lovely other writers! Thank you again for the lovely review and enjoy your day!
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You're quite welcome. Enjoy yours as well!
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I would love to go to one. I go to teacher ones all the time, but a conference for writers would be so exciting.
Comment from pome lover
Yes, I've heard that one. You made up a good poem for it.
She was really quick thinking, and got him good, though in real life, I don't believe she could've. Great Entry.
Katharine
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Yes, I've heard that one. You made up a good poem for it.
She was really quick thinking, and got him good, though in real life, I don't believe she could've. Great Entry.
Katharine
Comment Written 14-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Katharine... First I must apologize for the delay in thanking you for the wonderful review - I was away for the weekend at my first writer's conference and just returned. I am so happy you enjoyed my poetic interpretation of this little old lady joke! I did have fun writing it - and I do think you're right...she probably "couldn't have" gotten away with it in this day and age! LOL! Thank you again and have a wonderful week!
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writing conferences are fun. I used to go to them for many years. . Thanks for responding in such a lovely way.
We have finally gotten cool, so I will enjoy it, thanks.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, But You Could Have, is the long funny version of this great comeback joke that is made better than ever with your poetic styling. ..........................
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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This poem, But You Could Have, is the long funny version of this great comeback joke that is made better than ever with your poetic styling. ..........................
Comment Written 14-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Hi, Bill! Yes - the original joke is from where I got the inspiration to transpose into a fun, poetry piece! But please let me apologize for not thanking you for this great review in a more timely fashion - I was away at my first writer's conference and just returned. Was so happy that it gave you a good laugh and that you enjoyed my "poetic" interpretation! It was a lot of fun to write! Thank you again and have a wonderful week!
Comment from karenina
It's very funny. I wish I had the "spinal fortitude" to confront such ridiculous bills at hotels...
While I love your poem, I was equally amused at the many variations of the same "story" that popped up.
You've morphed it into a poem, which I bet will be very popular in this contest!
This version (as a joke/story) was on a site called "dribbling-pensioner
. wordpress . com" (spaces added so as to not have the source eliminated as a link)
--------++++-------
The Hotel Bill
An older lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday
by staying overnight in a really nice hotel. When she checked out the
next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She demanded to know why the charge was so high. "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn't even have breakfast."
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate', and breakfast
had been included had she wanted it. She insisted on speaking to the
Manager.
The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
"But I didn't use them," she said.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous. "We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here," the Manager said.
"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I
didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.
After several minutes' discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved,
she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But madam, this check is for $50.00."
"That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaimed the very surprised Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
----++++------
I'll bet whoever wrote it wishes they'd copyrighted it...
Oh well!
To paraphrase:
"They could have!"
I bet your poem will go "live" on FB and other social media forums!
I see a ribbon in your future!
Karenina
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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It's very funny. I wish I had the "spinal fortitude" to confront such ridiculous bills at hotels...
While I love your poem, I was equally amused at the many variations of the same "story" that popped up.
You've morphed it into a poem, which I bet will be very popular in this contest!
This version (as a joke/story) was on a site called "dribbling-pensioner
. wordpress . com" (spaces added so as to not have the source eliminated as a link)
--------++++-------
The Hotel Bill
An older lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday
by staying overnight in a really nice hotel. When she checked out the
next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She demanded to know why the charge was so high. "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250.00 for just an overnight stay! I didn't even have breakfast."
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate', and breakfast
had been included had she wanted it. She insisted on speaking to the
Manager.
The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
"But I didn't use them," she said.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous. "We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here," the Manager said.
"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I
didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.
After several minutes' discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved,
she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check. "But madam, this check is for $50.00."
"That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaimed the very surprised Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
----++++------
I'll bet whoever wrote it wishes they'd copyrighted it...
Oh well!
To paraphrase:
"They could have!"
I bet your poem will go "live" on FB and other social media forums!
I see a ribbon in your future!
Karenina
Comment Written 14-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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First, I must apologize for the delay in thanking you for this wonderful review - I was away for the weekend at my first writer's conference and just returned. Yes - this exact story is the one from which I found inspiration to transpose to poetry! I couldn't help but laugh when I read it and loving rhyme and rhythm thought it would be a fun challenge to transpose! I'm so happy you enjoyed my interpretation! Thank you again and have a wonderful week!
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A writer's conference sounds like the best way to spend a weekend! Your interpretation was hysterical and clearly very popular!
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So much fun! I'll have to go again! And thank YOU again for the wonderful review! Have a wonderful evening!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This made me smile, a funny and unusual story in a poem and I enjoyed the ride, I wish you luck with the contest, an 85 year old having a fling, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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This made me smile, a funny and unusual story in a poem and I enjoyed the ride, I wish you luck with the contest, an 85 year old having a fling, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 14-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Hi, Dolly! Thank you so much for this great review and so happy it gave you a smile! I must apologize, though, for not getting back to you sooner, but was away for the weekend at my very first writer's conference (so much fun)! Thank you again and have a wonderful week!
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Congratulations on your win, well deserved x
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Thanks so much, Dolly! Have a beautiful day!
Comment from Jessica Wheeler
This was hilarious! Well written, well metered, and wildly clever! I truly enjoyed the unexpected final line.
A real gut puncher lol
Thanks for sharing!!!
Xo
Jessica
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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This was hilarious! Well written, well metered, and wildly clever! I truly enjoyed the unexpected final line.
A real gut puncher lol
Thanks for sharing!!!
Xo
Jessica
Comment Written 13-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Jessica - first let me apologize for the delay in my responding to this great review - I was away for the weekend at my first writer's conference and just returned. So happy that you enjoyed - it was quite fun to put this joke (I found on Facebook) into a rhyming piece of poetry! Thank you again and have a wonderful week!
Comment from Janet Foor
LOL!!! This is hilarious. You really did fit the Laughter prompt perfectly.
Nice rhyme and cadence with each line. And the turn at the end was priceless - or so to speak. Hahaha
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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LOL!!! This is hilarious. You really did fit the Laughter prompt perfectly.
Nice rhyme and cadence with each line. And the turn at the end was priceless - or so to speak. Hahaha
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 13-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2023
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Hi, Janet! Oh my - thank you for the wonderful review! I must apologize for the delay in getting this back to you, but was away for the weekend at my first writer's conference. I am so happy that you loved this - it was great fun to try to take this little old lady joke that I saw on Facebook and turn it into a rhyming poem! Thank you again and have a super week!