Machine Lullabies
Potlatch Poetry Club Submission- an octameter poem11 total reviews
Comment from Paul Manton
Ooooh I'm close to six with this one, Jessica. It really felt like being there. Although I'm unlikely to give birth any time soon, I have been in Intensive Care several times, and remember the heroes who saved my life or kept me alive until I recovered.
The simple two beat lines feel close to a steady heart beat, in rhythm with the beeps from the monitors. The rhyme is spot on for this kind of Octometer - so technically, perfect!
Just like your baby. Love to you both.
Paul
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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Ooooh I'm close to six with this one, Jessica. It really felt like being there. Although I'm unlikely to give birth any time soon, I have been in Intensive Care several times, and remember the heroes who saved my life or kept me alive until I recovered.
The simple two beat lines feel close to a steady heart beat, in rhythm with the beeps from the monitors. The rhyme is spot on for this kind of Octometer - so technically, perfect!
Just like your baby. Love to you both.
Paul
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Paul!
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Welcome, Jessica.
