At Home in Mississippi
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "The Greatest Show on Earth"Growing up in the 40 and 50 in MIssissippi
27 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I remember my first circus. It was great. Sorry you didn't have the same experience. A few years ago, we took my son and his wife to a St. Louis Cardinal game. This was Crystal's first time in St. Louis, let alone a professional ball game. As we entered the stadium to find our seats, she was scared she'd fall because of the height. I do understand your fear. Good luck with the contest.
I sat down and tried to not move. (you can omit 'down', it's understood)
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I remember my first circus. It was great. Sorry you didn't have the same experience. A few years ago, we took my son and his wife to a St. Louis Cardinal game. This was Crystal's first time in St. Louis, let alone a professional ball game. As we entered the stadium to find our seats, she was scared she'd fall because of the height. I do understand your fear. Good luck with the contest.
I sat down and tried to not move. (you can omit 'down', it's understood)
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Thank you Barbara. I took my children to the circus when it came to New Orleans and at least I was in a spot that posed no danger of a fall. It was a spectactular presentation but I don't still didn't like the trapese acts.
Comment from humpwhistle
Beth, I really like this piece, but I think it begins too soon. I know the bit about being 'star for the day' was important to you, but I think that's another story. Shed that stuff, for now, and concentrate on your circus experience. I think the story begins with you holding your Dad's hand while he walks you down the midway and you become bombarded by sights, sounds, and smells.
Beth, I don't expect you to rewrite this piece. I'm just trying to give you feedback that be helpful down the line.
Best of luck, Beth.
Peace, Lee
It had never occurred to me I might want to go to a circus, so I'm thinking it might have been Daddy trying to recapture his own youth which caused him to decide to take the day off from work and go to the greatest show on earth with me as his excuse.--Beth, I'm not sure how to fix this, but this section is full of little words that mean very little.
If you take this blob of words and restructure it, you can keep everything important and still have a bunch of words to throw away.
The fairground in Meridian was crowded and carnival barkers were everywhere advertising freak shows like midgets, giants and tattooed women. Yes, women with tattoos were considered freaks at one time. Dad said we needed to find a seat before they were all gone, so we moved along with the crowd until we were under the big top.--this section is full of potential, and opportunities to 'show' rather than 'tell.' recreate the scene from your little girl perspective. What does she see? What does she smell? What does she hear?
Be poetic.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Beth, I really like this piece, but I think it begins too soon. I know the bit about being 'star for the day' was important to you, but I think that's another story. Shed that stuff, for now, and concentrate on your circus experience. I think the story begins with you holding your Dad's hand while he walks you down the midway and you become bombarded by sights, sounds, and smells.
Beth, I don't expect you to rewrite this piece. I'm just trying to give you feedback that be helpful down the line.
Best of luck, Beth.
Peace, Lee
It had never occurred to me I might want to go to a circus, so I'm thinking it might have been Daddy trying to recapture his own youth which caused him to decide to take the day off from work and go to the greatest show on earth with me as his excuse.--Beth, I'm not sure how to fix this, but this section is full of little words that mean very little.
If you take this blob of words and restructure it, you can keep everything important and still have a bunch of words to throw away.
The fairground in Meridian was crowded and carnival barkers were everywhere advertising freak shows like midgets, giants and tattooed women. Yes, women with tattoos were considered freaks at one time. Dad said we needed to find a seat before they were all gone, so we moved along with the crowd until we were under the big top.--this section is full of potential, and opportunities to 'show' rather than 'tell.' recreate the scene from your little girl perspective. What does she see? What does she smell? What does she hear?
Be poetic.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Yes I realized that this sort of went off the deep end. I had origianlly meant to be a story about my relationshep with a dad who didn't want kids and how he tried to bond. I hadn't meant it to be about the circus which was something I didn't enjoy at all. It got off tract. I but you right. It went in too many directions and because of the name and picture I used it became about a circus I didn't really want to talk about. Thank you for your suggests. They are right on target.
Beth
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Sometimes the stories we don't want to tell are the ones we tell the best, Beth.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Well this is quite a story Beth and I can certainly understand why you have that re-occurring dream. I had one about a baby drowning and I was trying to get to her to save her. Where that came from I'll never know, but it ghosted me for years.
Well done and Good Luck! Nancy:)
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Well this is quite a story Beth and I can certainly understand why you have that re-occurring dream. I had one about a baby drowning and I was trying to get to her to save her. Where that came from I'll never know, but it ghosted me for years.
Well done and Good Luck! Nancy:)
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Thank you Nancy. I did have one much scarier when I was pregnant. I dreamed I was in coffin with two babies. We were all alive but I assumed they were going bury us. I had lost a child at two months and I didn't realize I was pregnant with twins. It might have been a prodiction that although one died I would have twins. But it scared me because I thought it meant we all die.
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Beth,
I like your use of similes and metaphors to make a riveting story. I am terrified of heights, myself, and I could feel the anxiety you felt at the circus.
Great writing, Beth.
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Beth,
I like your use of similes and metaphors to make a riveting story. I am terrified of heights, myself, and I could feel the anxiety you felt at the circus.
Great writing, Beth.
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Thank you Cindy. I didn't know until that day that heights made me afraid. My son certainly isn't afraid of heights. I really appreciate the review and I love the fact you are giving me six stars.
Beth
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You're welcome, Beth.
Good luck.
Comment from Wendy G
An excellent story for the contest. You captured well that feeling of terror with your fear of heights, and then having to watch the trapeze artists as well ...! Very kind to give your father pleasure by pretending you'd had a wonderful day. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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An excellent story for the contest. You captured well that feeling of terror with your fear of heights, and then having to watch the trapeze artists as well ...! Very kind to give your father pleasure by pretending you'd had a wonderful day. Best wishes for the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Thank you Wendy. I don't think I had a fear of heights until then. Actually it wasn't so bad while you were really high like in a plane but if I was connected in anyway to the earth and looking down it really bothered me.
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My legs go to jelly if I or anyone else stands too close to an edge or a cliff. I don?t mind planes.
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That is how I feel too.
Comment from Ben Colder
For sure it would be something to consider no matter how old you are. I think I would have enjoyed the lion tamer and perhaps the elephant movements. Anyway, you made home just intime to ride the ride of your life. Good one, Beth. Best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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For sure it would be something to consider no matter how old you are. I think I would have enjoyed the lion tamer and perhaps the elephant movements. Anyway, you made home just intime to ride the ride of your life. Good one, Beth. Best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the review. The circuses of today don't have animals. Ringling Bfos. was gone for whle but they are coming back this year with no animal acts. They claim too much cruelty was involved.
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Oh! So much for Clyde Beaty
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Hi Beth I perfectly understand your phobia, mine is bicycles. I got hit three times, therefore I never learnt to ride one, and when I see one in front of me I wish to be invisible. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Hi Beth I perfectly understand your phobia, mine is bicycles. I got hit three times, therefore I never learnt to ride one, and when I see one in front of me I wish to be invisible. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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I can understand. I've been hit by a bicycle but I've fallen off a few times. We all have something we don't like to deal with.
Beth
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That's right sister:)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I am glad your father warmed to you despite him not wanting children. Not wanting a family is odd and the same thing happened to my sister, she insisted on not having any kids after she married a man who came from a very big family and they remained childless. I always wanted children and I came from a family of four and I loved being a Mother and still do.
Your experiences here of flying at a young age and going to the circus sound very exciting and I wonder if your father was involved in your children as a Grandparent? A fine post and I enjoyed learning more about your life Beth, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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I am glad your father warmed to you despite him not wanting children. Not wanting a family is odd and the same thing happened to my sister, she insisted on not having any kids after she married a man who came from a very big family and they remained childless. I always wanted children and I came from a family of four and I loved being a Mother and still do.
Your experiences here of flying at a young age and going to the circus sound very exciting and I wonder if your father was involved in your children as a Grandparent? A fine post and I enjoyed learning more about your life Beth, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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My father was an only child and he didn't think he wanted children. He hated noise and confusion. When everyone told he I looked just like him, he was delighted and he liked showing me off. I was an only child who didn't know if I wanted children, but like him when I had them I was thrilled. Dad loved my daughters, but he only tolorated my son which made me feel bad for Don. I don't quite know why dad had such a problem with boys.
Beth
Comment from Teri7
Beth, This is a very well written true story about going to the circus with your dad. I never really liked going to the circus and the clowns were kind of scary to me too. You used very good descriptive words and great art work to go with your words. Best wishes in the contest my friend. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Beth, This is a very well written true story about going to the circus with your dad. I never really liked going to the circus and the clowns were kind of scary to me too. You used very good descriptive words and great art work to go with your words. Best wishes in the contest my friend. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Thank you Teri. I took my children to the circus once and I not sure any of us really enjoyed it that much. The circuses now don't have animals because they were being treated cruely, but I don't like to see people taking chances with their lives on the high wire acts.
Comment from damommy
I remember those days when the circus came to town and was actually under a big tent. I've never like clowns. I don't like knowing what/who's behind all the paint. I don't like costume parties or Halloween for the same reason.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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I remember those days when the circus came to town and was actually under a big tent. I've never like clowns. I don't like knowing what/who's behind all the paint. I don't like costume parties or Halloween for the same reason.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2023
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Thank you for a great review. I don't care for clowns either but I have a son-in-law who likes them. He dresses as a clown sometimes and he has picturesand whatnots off clowns everywhere.