2023 Gypsy's Haiku
Viewing comments for Prologue "Covering the Sun"x
21 total reviews
Comment from JSD
Beautifully descriptive little box of syllables. Love the cleverness of the power in a little boy's thumb. And a half rhyme too. I might have stuck a little adjective in line 1 instead of 'the', but I can't think what.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Beautifully descriptive little box of syllables. Love the cleverness of the power in a little boy's thumb. And a half rhyme too. I might have stuck a little adjective in line 1 instead of 'the', but I can't think what.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much. It's so good to read your review. You are very kind.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Goodadvicechan
I love the picture and the poem.
I wish I could do what your poem says: " boy lies on the grass covering the sun --
with his thumb"
I see a lot of people lying on the grass at Central Park. That is relaxation, at the same time acquiring some vitamin D when the sun is up.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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I love the picture and the poem.
I wish I could do what your poem says: " boy lies on the grass covering the sun --
with his thumb"
I see a lot of people lying on the grass at Central Park. That is relaxation, at the same time acquiring some vitamin D when the sun is up.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from lyenochka
That's cute! It's hard to imagine what 93 million miles away does to make something so huge look so small in the sky. The little boy can cover the sun with his sun! Great senryu!
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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That's cute! It's hard to imagine what 93 million miles away does to make something so huge look so small in the sky. The little boy can cover the sun with his sun! Great senryu!
Comment Written 28-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much, big sister, for some reason every body likes this one because they can relate. LoL
Gypsy hugs
Comment from AP Apgar
I like your Senryu poem- nice picture presentation of the young lad- good syllable count - good flow- exactly want a boy would do - lol easy to imagine- heart warming poem - good job AP
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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I like your Senryu poem- nice picture presentation of the young lad- good syllable count - good flow- exactly want a boy would do - lol easy to imagine- heart warming poem - good job AP
Comment Written 27-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Comment from kahpot
Excellent, this Senryu does give the reader an image and I would suggest an image of our selves doing exactly the same thing, very well written and presented****kahpot
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Excellent, this Senryu does give the reader an image and I would suggest an image of our selves doing exactly the same thing, very well written and presented****kahpot
Comment Written 27-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Comment from GWHARGIS
I like the imagery of the little boy. I remember doing just that type of thing when I was young. Pretending to squash the sun, or to flick birds as they flew overhead. Fun read. Thank you for posting. Gretchen
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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I like the imagery of the little boy. I remember doing just that type of thing when I was young. Pretending to squash the sun, or to flick birds as they flew overhead. Fun read. Thank you for posting. Gretchen
Comment Written 27-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
Comment from jim vecchio
Loved it! I was thinking of the line from THE FANTASTICKS when El Gallo states of the lovers that instead of studying, they memorized the moon. Also, memories of lying on the grass just watching the clouds float by.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Loved it! I was thinking of the line from THE FANTASTICKS when El Gallo states of the lovers that instead of studying, they memorized the moon. Also, memories of lying on the grass just watching the clouds float by.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
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And thanks for reminding me of my childhood!
Comment from Loretta Bigg
I like this poem
Its strong imagination
and the ending thumb
Seriously, I was quite surprised by that last word, and it made me go oh and smile. Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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I like this poem
Its strong imagination
and the ending thumb
Seriously, I was quite surprised by that last word, and it made me go oh and smile. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your exceptional six stars review, and kind feedback.
Comment from aryr
Definitely a great senryu, Gypsy. I really enjoyed your words because the showed the boy blocking the sun with his thumb. I realize that the picture wasn't the one you wanted but it was great regardless. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Definitely a great senryu, Gypsy. I really enjoyed your words because the showed the boy blocking the sun with his thumb. I realize that the picture wasn't the one you wanted but it was great regardless. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
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You are so welcome, Gypsy.
Comment from royowen
That boy could well be me, I used to gaze a lot at the sky, with clouds scudding by, me dreaming of living in those clouds, flying high, and living in castles and defeating knights in battle, but her I am a land bound turkey, well done
Gypsy, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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That boy could well be me, I used to gaze a lot at the sky, with clouds scudding by, me dreaming of living in those clouds, flying high, and living in castles and defeating knights in battle, but her I am a land bound turkey, well done
Gypsy, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2023
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Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.
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Most welcome
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Well done