Reviews from

One Thousand Cranes

Viewing comments for Chapter 303 "As the Day Dims"
Gypsy's Favorites

20 total reviews 
Comment from JSD
Excellent
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Always get excited when I see you've written something new. This is lovely and looks like a challenge I might relish. Your imagery and description are beautiful.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
    Thank you very much for your kind words and excellent five stars review. May you have a wonderful day.

    Gypsy hugs
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
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I really enjoyed reading your new form for the writing that you have down here. I like the idea of having each stanza represent a different sense that we experience. It is well written, and it is presented beautifully. Thank you for sharing. Patricia.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
    Patricia,
    Thank you very much for your kind words and excellent five stars review. May you have a wonderful day.

    Gypsy hugs
Comment from Lisasview
Excellent
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Oh such a clever idea for the structure of a new style poem....
Senses.... really wonderful.... You have an excellent imagination....
Really liked it...
Lisasview, new to this site

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
    Welcome, Lisa, feel free to contact me if you need help.

    Thank you very much for your kind words and excellent five stars review.

    Gypsy hugs
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I think you've done extremely well, it's not easy to cover all the senses in a poem, so imaginatively compiled with great descriptive phrases to season the lovely poem. Well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
    Roy,
    Thank you very much for your kind words and excellent five stars review. May you have a wonderful day.

    Gypsy hugs
reply by royowen on 22-Jun-2023
    Most welcime
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Gypsy,
Congrats on your new poetry form.
You have created a fine example in words and images to showcase the style components.
Your presentation is also perfect and stunning.
Blessings
Shirley

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
    Shirley,
    Thank you very much for your kind words and exceptional six stars review. May you have a wonderful day.

    Gypsy hugs
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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Not sure I detected smell in your five senses poem here, but I did feel your passion and see these lovers enjoying a special moment together, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
    Sea breeze has a distinct smell.

    Thank you, dolly.

    Gypsy
Comment from AP Apgar
Excellent
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I like your poem about the senses- interesting challenge- good picture presentation- good use of descriptive metaphors- couple of suggestions-
(Sunshine)-warm your tender heart-
(Breeze upon our backs)- gently guiding every step?
Just a thought- good job hug -AP

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2023
    Thank you, AP, I adapted some of your suggestions but not all and ended up changing other stuff. Each line is 8 syllables.

    gypsy hugs
reply by AP Apgar on 22-Jun-2023
    All just suggestions G - like they say in the program- ?take what you want and leave the rest? -lol - hug
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2023
    I've done the steps too
    Thank you for the review
Comment from GWHARGIS
Excellent
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There is something about your poetry that makes me want to see into the players of your words. It's like watching a couple in the midst of their embrace. Great poem. Very evocative. Gretchen

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2023
    I love your reviews, you really know how I feel when I write, you are very perceptive. Thank you, Gretchen. :)

    gypsy hugs
Comment from ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova
Excellent
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A sensational poem in every sense of the word. Though I must confess, I would rather listen to Oysters than eat them. Still, I really enjoyed this poem.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2023
    hahaha how do you listen to oysters?

    thank you very much for the review and kind words. :)

    gypsy hugs
reply by ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova on 21-Jun-2023
    With more cowbell!
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2023
    Hahaha. I love that SNL episode.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Great job evoking all those sensations such as the feeling of being enveloped by the sun and wind and also the sense of taste in the foods as well as the sound of laughter! Great poem of passion!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2023
    Thank you, big sister. It was fun creating this new form. I am going to use it in my club next week.

    love,
    marival
reply by lyenochka on 21-Jun-2023
    Great idea! Using all these senses is a good technique in prose writing, too!