My Brother's Christmas
A Late Christmas Gift32 total reviews
Comment from Diana Harris
I very much enjoyed this story. The emotion shines through and the transitions between past and present were clearly defined. Thank you for sharing it. Diana
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023
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I very much enjoyed this story. The emotion shines through and the transitions between past and present were clearly defined. Thank you for sharing it. Diana
Comment Written 20-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023
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Hi, Diana, thank you for reading, your encouraging comments, and all the stars! I had a tough time with the transitions, took many revisions to try and make them as clear as possible.
irish
Comment from Douglas Goff
Great story. Sometimes when they are really good I get too rapped up and forget to look for mistakes.
Interesting story-line but your notes make the reader wonder what is real and what is not.
Good stuff.
D
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023
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Great story. Sometimes when they are really good I get too rapped up and forget to look for mistakes.
Interesting story-line but your notes make the reader wonder what is real and what is not.
Good stuff.
D
Comment Written 20-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2023
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Thank you, Douglas, for reading, your encouraging comments, and all the stars! I always write from what I know, my life, but I do include other, fictitious people and events, to make the tale more interesting.
Yeah, sometimes I wonder, too.
irish
Comment from MissMerri
I do enjoy your writing so much. You have a way of creating such vivid scenes and believable characters with your well selected words. I feel like I am watching a movie when I read your stories. This one brought tears to my eyes as I just read it from beginning to end again. You have beautifully solved all the questions I originally had I want to say how very much I enjoyed this reading. I think the first line, Dear Lawrence, could be eliminated, since at this point in the story you have not yet opened the letter.
I have removed my questions from the original review because they have been fixed and no longer apply. Also I want to add how much I enjoyed Gaiges poem! Your poem, in reality. It is so moving and beautiful. The final words I will leave. They are always true. Thank you for sharing this and for your amazing humility and willingness to listen to suggestions.
I very much enjoy the way your narrator went back and told us about his past with his brother. We come to understand so much about the feelings he is having. It is always a pleasure to read your stories.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2023
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I do enjoy your writing so much. You have a way of creating such vivid scenes and believable characters with your well selected words. I feel like I am watching a movie when I read your stories. This one brought tears to my eyes as I just read it from beginning to end again. You have beautifully solved all the questions I originally had I want to say how very much I enjoyed this reading. I think the first line, Dear Lawrence, could be eliminated, since at this point in the story you have not yet opened the letter.
I have removed my questions from the original review because they have been fixed and no longer apply. Also I want to add how much I enjoyed Gaiges poem! Your poem, in reality. It is so moving and beautiful. The final words I will leave. They are always true. Thank you for sharing this and for your amazing humility and willingness to listen to suggestions.
I very much enjoy the way your narrator went back and told us about his past with his brother. We come to understand so much about the feelings he is having. It is always a pleasure to read your stories.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2023
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Thank you for your time and effort, in reading, reviewing, and editing my story. I tweaked, polished, edited, and rewrote many times, but the flashbacks were very difficult to write. As the story unfolded, I felt that I needed a strong, realistic foundation for the situation.
I will make those changes. As always, you are able to provide clarity
to my ramblings.
Thank you, irish
Comment from jmdg1954
I couldn't stop reading your post. It had me clinched from the start till the end.
I thought you did a great job in going from present to the past and back to the present. Easy glow as far as I'm concerned.
Great story, thanks for sharing.
John
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2023
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I couldn't stop reading your post. It had me clinched from the start till the end.
I thought you did a great job in going from present to the past and back to the present. Easy glow as far as I'm concerned.
Great story, thanks for sharing.
John
Comment Written 17-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2023
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Wow, I am humbled! Thank you, John, for reading, the galaxy of stars, and for your encouraging comments! My usual helpful editor was unavailable for this story, so I labored over the past/present jumps, glad they were not blurred.
irish
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Considering the wealth of information and detail you expressed, I thought this post was skilfully written with breaks where possible so that the reader was not too inundated. It's a very sensitive account of how quickly time can pass and how misunderstandings can fester and create divisions, sometimes without resolution before life moves into death. The poetry at the end is a lovely touch and, with some tweaking needed, I still this this post is worthy of excellent. Thanks for sharing, Debbie
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Considering the wealth of information and detail you expressed, I thought this post was skilfully written with breaks where possible so that the reader was not too inundated. It's a very sensitive account of how quickly time can pass and how misunderstandings can fester and create divisions, sometimes without resolution before life moves into death. The poetry at the end is a lovely touch and, with some tweaking needed, I still this this post is worthy of excellent. Thanks for sharing, Debbie
Comment Written 16-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Hi, Debbie, thank you for reading, all the stars, and your in-depth comments. I appreciate your suggestions. The Keats poem seemed appropriate, and I struggled with the poem written by Gaige, but my usual editor was unavailable so I finally decided to post. In the story, the poem was written by an amateur (Me!). And Yes, I am no poet.
irish
Comment from Ric Myworld
This is totally different than most of the stories I've read from you before. And I like the versatility that you show. Thanks for sharing another fine story.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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This is totally different than most of the stories I've read from you before. And I like the versatility that you show. Thanks for sharing another fine story.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2023
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Hi, Ric, thanks for reading, all the stars, and your great comments.
My usual editor was unavailable, so after much tweaking and deliberation, I just took a shot.
irish
Comment from prettybluebirds
This is an interesting story, if a bit confusing at the end. I don't quite understand the part where you were killed, yet you are still here reading the letter. The grammar is perfect. I just got lost somewhere along the way.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2023
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This is an interesting story, if a bit confusing at the end. I don't quite understand the part where you were killed, yet you are still here reading the letter. The grammar is perfect. I just got lost somewhere along the way.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2023
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Ah, I did not die, my brother died on Christmas Eve, after writing an apology to me for stealing my girl, all those years ago when we were in college together.
Thanks for reading!
irish
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is actually worthy of a sixth star, but there are a few things that need changing. What does "cursory, blue ink" mean? Some of your "paragraphs" would be easier to read if the blank line between the real paragraphs was there. Otherwise, the story was great, a two-hanky read.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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This is actually worthy of a sixth star, but there are a few things that need changing. What does "cursory, blue ink" mean? Some of your "paragraphs" would be easier to read if the blank line between the real paragraphs was there. Otherwise, the story was great, a two-hanky read.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
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Ah, have to correct cursory to cursive, thanks. Will take another look at the paragraph separation. Thanks for reading, all the stars, and for your help!
irish
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Irish,
I'm so glad I had one last six to award, this is certainly deserving of it. While this is listed as fiction, it nonetheless reads as having a degree of truth in it. I can't imagine anyone being able to write from the heart with such feeling without having experienced the depth of pain that you've expressed here. Well done. This is such a touching story. Exceptional. Thanks so much for sharing this.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
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Hello Irish,
I'm so glad I had one last six to award, this is certainly deserving of it. While this is listed as fiction, it nonetheless reads as having a degree of truth in it. I can't imagine anyone being able to write from the heart with such feeling without having experienced the depth of pain that you've expressed here. Well done. This is such a touching story. Exceptional. Thanks so much for sharing this.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 14-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
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Wow, Thank you, Tom! I am humbled. You got it right, this story, as with all my writings, is part of my life, and part fiction. Thanks for reading, that galaxy of stars, and for your insight!
irish
Comment from w.j.debi
Oh this one tugs at the heart-strings. Brothers that were once so close, eventually have a falling out. Love is difficult to predict and hurt feelings kept the separation going for the better part of a lifetime. At least Lawrence realizes he needs to let go of past regrets and grab what happiness he can while he still has time.
Excellent job telling the story through the letter from Gaige.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
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Oh this one tugs at the heart-strings. Brothers that were once so close, eventually have a falling out. Love is difficult to predict and hurt feelings kept the separation going for the better part of a lifetime. At least Lawrence realizes he needs to let go of past regrets and grab what happiness he can while he still has time.
Excellent job telling the story through the letter from Gaige.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2023
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Thank you for reading, all the stars, and your perceptive review!
You saw a lot of parts here that most readers missed.
irish