The Sunday Outing
The wife and I on a Sunday drive25 total reviews
Comment from Kaiku
Very good. Written by genius and suffered through by all married men. I like the art work. A buxom VW, could only come from Germany. Nice story and well versed. Good luck.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
Very good. Written by genius and suffered through by all married men. I like the art work. A buxom VW, could only come from Germany. Nice story and well versed. Good luck.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
-
Thanks, Kevin. You got the suffering part right.
-
YW
-
YW ???
-
Your welcome. Sorry
Comment from Terry Broxson
LOL, oh my. No, don't take separate cars. Find separate lawyers, for it is time to kick her down the curb. You working two jobs and night school, and she is on your case? Brother, I have read over 18,000 Dear Abby columns. Believe me when I say, "There is a better one out there waiting for you." Terry, aka, Dear, Terry.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
LOL, oh my. No, don't take separate cars. Find separate lawyers, for it is time to kick her down the curb. You working two jobs and night school, and she is on your case? Brother, I have read over 18,000 Dear Abby columns. Believe me when I say, "There is a better one out there waiting for you." Terry, aka, Dear, Terry.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
-
Dear Terry, thanks a lot for the review. I should probably try to catch your column.
Comment from JT traveller
I like be this. Very daring. I would guess that you have married a long time, just like myself and my husband. An extremely humourous rendition of a Sunday outing. Thank you.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
I like be this. Very daring. I would guess that you have married a long time, just like myself and my husband. An extremely humourous rendition of a Sunday outing. Thank you.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
-
Thanks, Jacqueline. I'll have to look again for the humor in this.
Comment from lancellot
This was constructed well enough. I think the story may be a bit on the long side and the theme, well, it not my cup of tea. But to each his/her own. Humor is subjective. I wish you luck.
To get my darling wife's consent
To venture out and do a little trouting.
- you may lose some men with this line, as it makes a husband appear as a child.
And I will get some reprimand, I'm sure.
- oh, yeah, you are losing men fast.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
This was constructed well enough. I think the story may be a bit on the long side and the theme, well, it not my cup of tea. But to each his/her own. Humor is subjective. I wish you luck.
To get my darling wife's consent
To venture out and do a little trouting.
- you may lose some men with this line, as it makes a husband appear as a child.
And I will get some reprimand, I'm sure.
- oh, yeah, you are losing men fast.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2023
-
Thanks for the review, Lance. You are probably right - especially the younger men.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This story in a poem entry is totally delightful and humorous. It sounds exactly like the description a man would give about his wife's driving, when all he wanted to do was go fishing. It sounded like me when she wanted to look at houses. The solution at the end was stunning...drive in separate cars. Nicely done. Best wishes in the contest.
Note: I though of turning on the news (I thought of...)
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
This story in a poem entry is totally delightful and humorous. It sounds exactly like the description a man would give about his wife's driving, when all he wanted to do was go fishing. It sounded like me when she wanted to look at houses. The solution at the end was stunning...drive in separate cars. Nicely done. Best wishes in the contest.
Note: I though of turning on the news (I thought of...)
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
-
Thanks for the review, LJ, and thanks for picking up on that typo.
Comment from dragonpoet
I think this poem tells a good story in rhyme about the ins and outs of marriage. This woman doesn't seem to be thankful for all the husband is doing to afford what they have. It she wants more maybe she should do more. It is good they both came out of that drive alive.
That is a interest piece of artwork you chose. The car seems to match the woman's dress and body type.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
I think this poem tells a good story in rhyme about the ins and outs of marriage. This woman doesn't seem to be thankful for all the husband is doing to afford what they have. It she wants more maybe she should do more. It is good they both came out of that drive alive.
That is a interest piece of artwork you chose. The car seems to match the woman's dress and body type.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
-
Thanks, Joan. Thank goodness that Sunday only comes once a week.
-
Don't mention it.
Joan
Comment from jake cosmos aller
nice poem about marriage and life and disputes between married couples like the story and the non-resolution like the last line the best
Then mercifully that Sunday drive
Was ended with us both alive,
Though we both had a few new battle scars.
She'll drive me crazy, if I let her,
So next week I think we better
Take that Sunday drive in separate cars.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
nice poem about marriage and life and disputes between married couples like the story and the non-resolution like the last line the best
Then mercifully that Sunday drive
Was ended with us both alive,
Though we both had a few new battle scars.
She'll drive me crazy, if I let her,
So next week I think we better
Take that Sunday drive in separate cars.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
-
Thanks, Jake. That separate cars idea is going to be expensive with the price of gas so high.
Comment from Jim Wile
This was a terrific, funny, perfectly rhymed poem with excellent meter. There's a piece of classical music, that I don't remember the name of, that fits this meter exactly. In fact my father used to sing this little love song to it:
"If you have to make some water,
Kindly call the Pullman porter,
He will bring a cuspidor to you.
Passenger do please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is standing in the station, I love you."
Did you have that music in mind when you wrote your poem? Can you tell me the name of it if you did?
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
This was a terrific, funny, perfectly rhymed poem with excellent meter. There's a piece of classical music, that I don't remember the name of, that fits this meter exactly. In fact my father used to sing this little love song to it:
"If you have to make some water,
Kindly call the Pullman porter,
He will bring a cuspidor to you.
Passenger do please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is standing in the station, I love you."
Did you have that music in mind when you wrote your poem? Can you tell me the name of it if you did?
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
-
Thanks for the review, Jim. Never heard that little ditty before.
-
I remember now. It was Dvorak's Humoresque.
Comment from royowen
I'm very fortunate in having a very gracious wife who is light on criticism, except when I get annoyed at half witted, er, lovely drivers on the road, relaxing their etiquette just a little. Nicely written in sestets in rhyme, generally in aabccb rhyme, an excellent story in a poem, well done, good luck, blessings Roy.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
I'm very fortunate in having a very gracious wife who is light on criticism, except when I get annoyed at half witted, er, lovely drivers on the road, relaxing their etiquette just a little. Nicely written in sestets in rhyme, generally in aabccb rhyme, an excellent story in a poem, well done, good luck, blessings Roy.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
-
Thanks, Roy. I think Sunday drives are a thing of the past. When I was a youngster, we use to visit relatives on Sundays.
-
That's right
Comment from GWHARGIS
This could have been a short movie. I liked the rhyme, it marched on with purpose. The poor guy, probably will never rise to her expectations. She should have let the poor guy go fishing. Bur misery loves company. Great poem and fun to read. Gretchen
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
This could have been a short movie. I liked the rhyme, it marched on with purpose. The poor guy, probably will never rise to her expectations. She should have let the poor guy go fishing. Bur misery loves company. Great poem and fun to read. Gretchen
Comment Written 11-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
-
Thanks, Gretchen. When I was a kid, Sunday drives were more fun.