Reviews from

Tanka Collection

Viewing comments for Chapter 74 "He's Gone"
Romantic Tanka Poems

13 total reviews 
Comment from prettybluebirds
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I do love your poetry. I see this one is a bit different from your usual style, but it is just as beautiful. The artwork is perfect for the subject of your writing. Nicely done.

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2022
    Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback, prettybluebirds. Have a wonderful night...or day

    Gypsy Word Weaver
Comment from dellsworthpoet
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A succinct poem. There is a rawness to the words that add to the out-of-focus picture. Feels like a short blues song.

Suggestion:
The second line would read better as: "another day is on its way" or perhaps a comma or emdash after day. "another day---it's on its way".

Thanks for sharing.



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 Comment Written 27-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2022
    I corrected that, thank you.

    Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback, dellsworthpoet. Have a wonderful night...or day

    Gypsy Word Weaver
reply by dellsworthpoet on 27-Nov-2022
    You are welcome. Have a wonderful week.
Comment from lyenochka
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I like how you show us the strong emotions through the gripping and clinging on to the bed and the dreading of dawn because the beloved is gone.
One suggestion:
another day it's on its way --
I know it's
I'd say 'another day is on its way ' because you have ' it's it's and another it's ' so close together

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 Comment Written 27-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2022
    I corrected that error, thank you, Sister. I appreciate your kind review. Love you.

    Marival