haiku (fireflies swirl above)
A Haiku Contest Entry22 total reviews
Comment from K. Lang-Slattery
Love this short form poem and your use of figurative words and alliteration (swirl, sweeping, sparks). Please explain the use of the word "grama" in the poem. I tried to look it up and found this: "any of several pasture grasses (genus Bouteloua) of the western U.S." as well as the word used as short for "grandmother." Neither of these definitions helped me. I wonder what you intended with this word.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Love this short form poem and your use of figurative words and alliteration (swirl, sweeping, sparks). Please explain the use of the word "grama" in the poem. I tried to look it up and found this: "any of several pasture grasses (genus Bouteloua) of the western U.S." as well as the word used as short for "grandmother." Neither of these definitions helped me. I wonder what you intended with this word.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Grama is a term for various native pasture grasses. A field of sweeping grama is a field of tall grass. Thank you for reading my poem and for your kind review.
Comment from R.B.Bunn
I love fireflies. This is a really sweet ode to them. The imagery is very easy to conjure in mind. Fireflies like campfires can be great signs of summer. At least, that's what they mean to me. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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I love fireflies. This is a really sweet ode to them. The imagery is very easy to conjure in mind. Fireflies like campfires can be great signs of summer. At least, that's what they mean to me. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you for reading my poem and for your kind review.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I love the picture! And the theme of fireflies is a wonderful way to go! Yet I am not sure what Grama means and I wonder if it is a misspelling or if it is intentional? Please, let me know which it is.
I love the last line sparks from a campfire is a super way to end this piece.
Thanks for lighting my day with fireflies.
Jesse
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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I love the picture! And the theme of fireflies is a wonderful way to go! Yet I am not sure what Grama means and I wonder if it is a misspelling or if it is intentional? Please, let me know which it is.
I love the last line sparks from a campfire is a super way to end this piece.
Thanks for lighting my day with fireflies.
Jesse
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Grama is a term for various native pasture grasses. Thank you for reading my poem and for your kind review.
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Thank you for the definition of Grama.
I wasn't aware of this.
Have a wonderful Sunday.
Jesse
Comment from Ulla
Hi C2, I really liked your haiku poem for the contest. It had great imagery, and your satori is very effective.
I also learned something new. I had to look up grama, and now I know. Good luck. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Hi C2, I really liked your haiku poem for the contest. It had great imagery, and your satori is very effective.
I also learned something new. I had to look up grama, and now I know. Good luck. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Ulla,
Thank you for reading my poem and for your kind review.
Comment from evilynne
I love fireflies! They do look like fire sparks. Your haiku is descriptive and nicely worded, enjoyable reading. Wishing you the best of luck in the contest. Evi
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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I love fireflies! They do look like fire sparks. Your haiku is descriptive and nicely worded, enjoyable reading. Wishing you the best of luck in the contest. Evi
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you for reading my poem and for your kind review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good artwork and nice presentation.
-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-Effective nature and seasonal imagery with the
swirling fireflies and "sweeping grama."
-A good concluding line.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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-Good artwork and nice presentation.
-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-Effective nature and seasonal imagery with the
swirling fireflies and "sweeping grama."
-A good concluding line.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Pam,
Thank you for reading my poem and for your kind review.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Wendy G
That's a lovely image, very well presented, and also a lovely Haiku. I like the subtle alliteration too. I notice the middle line has only six syllables, but I believe such variations are acceptable - so best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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That's a lovely image, very well presented, and also a lovely Haiku. I like the subtle alliteration too. I notice the middle line has only six syllables, but I believe such variations are acceptable - so best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Wendy,
Thank you for reading my poem and for your kind review.
Comment from harmony13
The author's words made me think about camping. The first two lines
flow and connect well. The last line says it all! I always remember the
fireflies around the campfire when we camped! Great poem - bringing
back lots of great memories. The artwork is awesome!
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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The author's words made me think about camping. The first two lines
flow and connect well. The last line says it all! I always remember the
fireflies around the campfire when we camped! Great poem - bringing
back lots of great memories. The artwork is awesome!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you for reading my poem and for your kind review.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a good haiku. I like that the text is centered on the large visual, and the font is large and easily read. I believe you have only 6 syllables on the second line. Thank you for informing me of the guidelines to your contest. That's why I am adjusting my original rating. The visual is perfect for your haiku. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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This is a good haiku. I like that the text is centered on the large visual, and the font is large and easily read. I believe you have only 6 syllables on the second line. Thank you for informing me of the guidelines to your contest. That's why I am adjusting my original rating. The visual is perfect for your haiku. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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The rules for haiku and this contest do not require a strict syllable count. Japanese syllables do not translate precisely to English. Here?s the quote from the contest rules:
Haiku is a form of poetry that only uses three lines. A popular format is to have the first line contains five (5) syllables, the second line seven (7) syllables, and the third line contains five (5) syllables but a strict syllable count is not required.
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Thank you for informing me of the guidelines to your contest. I have adjusted my original rating.
Comment from royowen
This is a great post, I've seen fireflies only once in my life, in Lancaster county, in Pennsylvania, so I know what you're talking about, very clever my friend. A note will spoil that, clever, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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This is a great post, I've seen fireflies only once in my life, in Lancaster county, in Pennsylvania, so I know what you're talking about, very clever my friend. A note will spoil that, clever, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you Roy!
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Most welcome
