Reviews from

Awakened

a Shakespearean sonnet

31 total reviews 
Comment from June Sargent
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This should do very well in the contest! I find Shakespearean sonnets to be a challenge. You are so adept with both the rhythm and the rhyme. Well done!

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hello June. Thank you so much for your encouraging words and thoughts on my sonnet. Hugs, my friend.

    Melissa
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Aw, Melissa, what a beautiful Sonnet you've written. The Sonnet is by far my favourite poetry form. Your joy of writing shines through every word in this wonderfully written poem. I loved it. Good luck. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hello Ulla. I am delighted you liked the sonnet... it is my take on being inspired at night... I keep a pen and paper handy LOL :). Thank you.

    Melissa
reply by Ulla on 29-Jan-2022
    Like me. I can wake up in the night, a full sentence coming to life. If I don't write it down there and then it's gone.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hello Ulla. I am delighted you liked the sonnet... it is my take on being inspired at night... I keep a pen and paper handy LOL :). Thank you.

    Melissa
Comment from Artasylum
Excellent
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How fun... and this is a lovely love story to your muse... it woke up and now every day softly reminds you to write... words that others will read and feel soft and safe inside your refrain. So, thanks for sharing your visions of comfort and quiet. thanks so much for the read. yours, di

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hello Di!! Thank you for your wonderful comments on the sonnet. So glad you liked it!!

    Melissa
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hello Di!! Thank you for your wonderful comments on the sonnet. So glad you liked it!!

    Melissa
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Perfectly done sonnet in meter and rhyme and the volta in the third stanza! And of course, your theme about writing is perfect for this audience. I think this is a winner!!

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hello Helen. Thank you for your encouragement. I am so happy you enjoyed it!!

    Melissa
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hello Helen. Thank you for your encouragement. I am so happy you enjoyed it!!

    Melissa
Comment from juliaSjames
Excellent
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An exquisite write, Melissa. The theme is familiar to writers, perhaps to all creative artistes. But in your skilful hands the commonplace becomes magical. "Shards of light" is a wonderful phrase .

I'm not a sonneteer by any means, but I think you have followed the rules for this form. The volta is effective though subtle as the sleepy poet now awake, pores over the completed work that was once just an errant thought. The miracle of the creative process.

I have one suggestion. To avoid (unconscious?) repetition, you might wish to change "tempts" in the first line of the couplet.

Best wishes in the contest with this lovely entry

Stay safe and blessed

Julia

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hi Julia. Thanks for a great review. I took your suggestion to heart and changed the word "tempt". So appreciate you and your comments.

    Melissa
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hi Julia. Thanks for a great review. I took your suggestion to heart and changed the word "tempt". So appreciate you and your comments.

    Melissa
Comment from royowen
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I think we've all been bitten by the bug to write, and the metaphoric ink that flows from the pen is not merely our imagination, but in fact is the truth. This is a beautifully written, and how beautifully does it flow, the magnetic articulation, rhyming and expression are breathtaking, well done Melissa, good luck, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Thank you so much Roy!! I am delighted you liked the sonnet. Your review is such an encouragement to me!!! Hugs!

    Melissa
reply by royowen on 29-Jan-2022
    Bless you Melissa
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Thank you so much Roy!! I am delighted you liked the sonnet. Your review is such an encouragement to me!!! Hugs!

    Melissa
reply by royowen on 29-Jan-2022
    Well done
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
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You have presented us with a sonnet where the love element is the love of writing. This is a good choice for your audience here; it can only be well-received.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hello there Kate. Thanks so much! So glad you enjoyed the sonnet!

    Melissa
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hello there Kate. Thanks so much! So glad you enjoyed the sonnet!

    Melissa
Comment from harmony13
Excellent
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The author's words are engaging, meaningful and creative. I found these
words inspiring in the way that rather than doing nothing the author is encouraged to write. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is
lovely and goes well with this poem. Great Poem Melissa!

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Thanks so much, Maria. So appreciate your thoughts and encouragement.

    Melissa
Comment from damommy
Excellent
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How lovely this is! Something pops in our head during the night, and then we have to make the decision to go back to sleep or get up and write while the idea is fresh. Sadly, I've lost the thought by morning.

Your sonnet is beautifully worded, and the meter is perfect. Excellent! Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hello Yvonne. Thank you, sweet friend. :). I keep paper and pencil by the bed :). Haha

    Melissa
Comment from Carol Clark2
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Nice job on this sonnet for the contest! I like the contrast of the edge of darkness/edge of sleep, and the shards of light that tantalize. Many FS writers here have written of this experience, but your stanzas sing and dance on the page. Best wishes in the contest. Carol

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hello Carol. Thank you for your wonderful comments. I sometimes keep a pen and paper by my bed to capture those thoughts. :) So appreciate your review!!

    Melissa
reply by Carol Clark2 on 29-Jan-2022
    You're not alone in keeping pen and paper by the bed! I hate losing a good thought by not writing it right away.