Incident on a Lonely Highway
A woman on a lonely highway has a fender bender.43 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Brilliant! Startling twist--hadn't seen that coming! Stunning climax--masterful misdirection--skillfully narrated--dialog rings true to circumstances.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Brilliant! Startling twist--hadn't seen that coming! Stunning climax--masterful misdirection--skillfully narrated--dialog rings true to circumstances.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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So glad you liked it, Elizabeth. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Alaskastory
"Incident on a Lonely Highway" is quite a horror story. The action and her thoughts were both amusing and brought suspense until the very end. That was an amazing ending. So well done!
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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"Incident on a Lonely Highway" is quite a horror story. The action and her thoughts were both amusing and brought suspense until the very end. That was an amazing ending. So well done!
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Thanks for liking it. I had a lot of fun with it. Appreciate the review.
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
What a grand finale! That is not at all where I thought this story was going. An entertaining read throughout. Great characterization and dialogue. I really enjoyed this story.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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What a grand finale! That is not at all where I thought this story was going. An entertaining read throughout. Great characterization and dialogue. I really enjoyed this story.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Glad you liked it. I actually published it in a book when I was a member of California Writer's Club. Didn't get paid because the book was an anthology and we all contributed our talents and time.
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Wow! What a great contribution to the anthology :) Keep writing!!
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Married to a wolf. My favorite animal. Sweet twisted ending. Enjoy them a lot when they are well written. Interesting tale. Could see it playing out. Hey, a wife has to feed her husband somehow. No nits or errors noted except believe Walmart should be Wal-Mart.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Married to a wolf. My favorite animal. Sweet twisted ending. Enjoy them a lot when they are well written. Interesting tale. Could see it playing out. Hey, a wife has to feed her husband somehow. No nits or errors noted except believe Walmart should be Wal-Mart.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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You're wrong about the wolf, but right about Wal-Mart. Great review! She's Mina Harker. Husband is Vlad Dracula.
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Should have picked that up. The fangs made me think wolf. Should have caught that.
Comment from Ulla
hahaha, this one really made me laugh. Whet a wonderful surprise ending. The poor guy didn't know what he'd got himself into. Neither did I, for that matter. This is beautifully written. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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hahaha, this one really made me laugh. Whet a wonderful surprise ending. The poor guy didn't know what he'd got himself into. Neither did I, for that matter. This is beautifully written. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Thanks, Ulla. The poor guy may have had his own agenda once she offers to let him ride home with her. Glad you liked it.
Comment from estory
This had a great spooky twist at the end, when it turns out the narrator and her husband are vampires. I think you did a terrific job of keeping that hidden with this detailed story of an accident and the need to get the insurance card. It all seems to realistic and believable... and then comes that witty ending with the wry comment about seasoning the dinner...estory
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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This had a great spooky twist at the end, when it turns out the narrator and her husband are vampires. I think you did a terrific job of keeping that hidden with this detailed story of an accident and the need to get the insurance card. It all seems to realistic and believable... and then comes that witty ending with the wry comment about seasoning the dinner...estory
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Great review. Glad you liked this and much thanks.
Comment from Michele Harber
Oh my goodness, you had me completely and totally fooled! Yes, I did question her not having her registration and insurance information on her but, as you'd created such believable characters in a well laid out scene, I skipped right over it. I like that your characters seem very down to earth in their speech and actions, and that believability went a long way towards your ending being such a surprise. Very well done.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Oh my goodness, you had me completely and totally fooled! Yes, I did question her not having her registration and insurance information on her but, as you'd created such believable characters in a well laid out scene, I skipped right over it. I like that your characters seem very down to earth in their speech and actions, and that believability went a long way towards your ending being such a surprise. Very well done.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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I had a lot of fun writing this one, and I'm glad it's being so well received. Thanks again.
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You're very welcome. I've written enough flash fiction that I should have looked for a twist ending, but you completely strung me along.
Comment from Pantygynt
I like a good twist in the tail and 'eating Greek' was just that. I couldn't quite come to terms with Adonis - nothing to do with his name - but why was he so apologetic to begin with, after all he'd just been rear-ended and, as he later say, it is the one behind who is to blame in such situations, so most folk would wade into the attack from the start.
But even taking that into account it was a good tale well told and a great ending.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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I like a good twist in the tail and 'eating Greek' was just that. I couldn't quite come to terms with Adonis - nothing to do with his name - but why was he so apologetic to begin with, after all he'd just been rear-ended and, as he later say, it is the one behind who is to blame in such situations, so most folk would wade into the attack from the start.
But even taking that into account it was a good tale well told and a great ending.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Yeah, I agree about Adonis. Who knows? She's a good-looking gal, she's alone, maybe he has ulterior motives too. Did he plan something after she invited him to go along with her to her home? Very possibly. Great review and much appreciated.
Comment from phill doran
Ho Ho Ho!
What a great write this is Nor. Very deft - had me right until the last lines. Clever, well thought out and an good example of misdirection.
I enjoyed this immensely.
I wish you well with your continued writing - stay safe.
cheers
phill
In passing:
Your opening paragraph : "A warm breeze caresses my cheek."
and then later : "His voice is like the caress of a hot summer breeze."
I am not sure if the repetition is intentional? (but, either way, it is a small point and does not detract from the piece)
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Ho Ho Ho!
What a great write this is Nor. Very deft - had me right until the last lines. Clever, well thought out and an good example of misdirection.
I enjoyed this immensely.
I wish you well with your continued writing - stay safe.
cheers
phill
In passing:
Your opening paragraph : "A warm breeze caresses my cheek."
and then later : "His voice is like the caress of a hot summer breeze."
I am not sure if the repetition is intentional? (but, either way, it is a small point and does not detract from the piece)
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Phil, six stars from you really means something. Much appreciated!
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Nor84,
Lovely piece of General Fiction having impressive phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and beautifully depicting a lonely Highway's incident with thrilling ups and downs leading to a nice end.
Interesting Indeed!
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Hello Nor84,
Lovely piece of General Fiction having impressive phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and beautifully depicting a lonely Highway's incident with thrilling ups and downs leading to a nice end.
Interesting Indeed!
Comment Written 18-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
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Thanks. Great review.
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Nor84, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP