Reviews from

Leave of Absence

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Pressure Wash"
Troopers life spins out of control over his family

13 total reviews 
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

SSSSSStunning. Gripping and heartrending--suspense is excruciating--a narrative tour de force--brilliant dialog and character development. SSSSSStupendous. Cheers. LIZ

duffle=>duffel

where Hodges=>HODGES' or HODGES'S] daughter grew up

one instance of YOU'RE=>YOUR

make him lay=>LIE down (keep as is if you want to convey his common misusage) two other instances of lay vs. lie in text

 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
    Thanks again, Liz for the golden plus.
Comment from siais
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"Slipping onto the freeway, Luke knew he'd likely never see his neighborhood again, least not in the same way. He laughed at himself over how he was bound to get arrested when it was Hodges who should have done the time. But it was liberating."

Tightly woven exciting story, best wishes thanks for sharing.Good one, take care!

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 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 28-Jul-2021
    Thanks so much for pulling that paragraph out and the mention of it feeling tightly strung together. Appreciated.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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Well as much trouble as this is likely to cause for Luke, I guess it did temporarily make him feel better. It certainly scared his neighbor. I'm not sure I understand why his wife chose to blame him for the death of their child and why she chose to put a restraiiing order on him. I'm anxious to see how you work this out.

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 Comment Written 26-Jul-2021


reply by the author on 26-Jul-2021
    Appreciate it Beth. There are some explanations that would give the story away too soon, but it will give you answers to what are some good questions!