Lady with a Briefcase
A mysterious woman...32 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
The woman did seem like a mystery to those around her, Amanda. You did a good job describing her and her actions. I like the two conclusions you thought about her purpose carrying the case. I would have liked to know about her, too. Your picture choice is a great pairing. I like that it doesn't show her face--adds more intrigue to your story. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
  |
The woman did seem like a mystery to those around her, Amanda. You did a good job describing her and her actions. I like the two conclusions you thought about her purpose carrying the case. I would have liked to know about her, too. Your picture choice is a great pairing. I like that it doesn't show her face--adds more intrigue to your story. Best wishes.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
-
Hi Jan, it took me a while to find an adequate picture...thank you for noticing the extra effort.
Comment from amahra
Very fine "Share Your Story contest entry. It was entertaining with added mystery; I would just suggest: You wrote: "we never heard her voice or her laughter." You don't need, "or her laughter." or her laughter can be omitted since you said, "we never heard her voice. You could say, "We never heard her voice, not even a laughter. Still, great job.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
|
Very fine "Share Your Story contest entry. It was entertaining with added mystery; I would just suggest: You wrote: "we never heard her voice or her laughter." You don't need, "or her laughter." or her laughter can be omitted since you said, "we never heard her voice. You could say, "We never heard her voice, not even a laughter. Still, great job.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
-
Thank you so much, amahra, your comments are well taken.
Comment from Tpa
The story started very well, gave the reader suspense. You also gave a good description of the lady. Fleming knew how to build drama and suspense. Stories were really page turners. Good luck.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
|
The story started very well, gave the reader suspense. You also gave a good description of the lady. Fleming knew how to build drama and suspense. Stories were really page turners. Good luck.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2021
-
Thank you for reading this story, and for your good wishes.
Comment from RGstar
Lovely Amada. I felt myself wondering who the lady was from the very start, all the way through. You took us back with scenery and imagery, which most can connect to, however small, even within your own circumstances.
My very best....Awsome writing...an end, but could have just been a beginning.
Best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
|
Lovely Amada. I felt myself wondering who the lady was from the very start, all the way through. You took us back with scenery and imagery, which most can connect to, however small, even within your own circumstances.
My very best....Awsome writing...an end, but could have just been a beginning.
Best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
-
Hi Roy...thank you. I was studying your notes in personal descriptions...I treasure your notes, and I try to follow them to the best of my ability.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is quite an intriguing story that could go anywhere you wished it to go. You gave a great description of this mystery lady who you never heard talk or laugh. Her character is ripe for a creative writer to give her voice and actions. this is a well written mystery.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
|
This is quite an intriguing story that could go anywhere you wished it to go. You gave a great description of this mystery lady who you never heard talk or laugh. Her character is ripe for a creative writer to give her voice and actions. this is a well written mystery.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
-
Thank you for the enchanted review, L....
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This a very interesting, expressive true story. You have made excellent use of specific details to provide a sketch of this lady--her appearance and her retiring demeanor, but not her "heart," since she never revealed it! She truly was a mystery!
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
|
This a very interesting, expressive true story. You have made excellent use of specific details to provide a sketch of this lady--her appearance and her retiring demeanor, but not her "heart," since she never revealed it! She truly was a mystery!
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
-
Thank you for capturing so well what I was trying to say. I so appreciate your support to my work.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading your contest entry and am wondering about this lady myself. I can see the beginning of a novel. Good luck with the contest.
the evening and left at exactly 6:35 the next morning. (because of definition it should be following morning)
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
|
I enjoyed reading your contest entry and am wondering about this lady myself. I can see the beginning of a novel. Good luck with the contest.
the evening and left at exactly 6:35 the next morning. (because of definition it should be following morning)
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
-
Thank you so much for repeating that line...spooky me,,,ha, ha. ha.
Comment from Begin Again
Oh, Amada, you are far more disciplined than I would ever have been. Your mystery lady would have been assaulted with questions about her exact arrival and exit time, the briefcase, the clothes. She never talked or laughed...just existed on that couch. Oh, heavens... get to writing another chapter about this woman...You have so much to share. I shall wait for your discoveries!!!
Smiles and laughter...Carol
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
|
Oh, Amada, you are far more disciplined than I would ever have been. Your mystery lady would have been assaulted with questions about her exact arrival and exit time, the briefcase, the clothes. She never talked or laughed...just existed on that couch. Oh, heavens... get to writing another chapter about this woman...You have so much to share. I shall wait for your discoveries!!!
Smiles and laughter...Carol
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
-
Hi Carol, thank you for your interest in the words of my pen.
Comment from Zan Zan
Oh wow.
I wonder where she is now...
Different ppl go n come each day it's crazy lol. This was a breezy read. I like it.
For an entire winter, Monday thru Friday, a middle-aged lady arrived at exactly 6:35 in the evening and left at exactly 6:35"
- idk if the "thru" is a typo or not- ^
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
 |
Oh wow.
I wonder where she is now...
Different ppl go n come each day it's crazy lol. This was a breezy read. I like it.
For an entire winter, Monday thru Friday, a middle-aged lady arrived at exactly 6:35 in the evening and left at exactly 6:35"
- idk if the "thru" is a typo or not- ^
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
-
I am honored by your comments, Zan Zan.
Comment from Sanku
We often notice such people and they remain mystery person always in our mind.There could be a straight forward explanation for her appearances. A nice theme .all the best
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
|
We often notice such people and they remain mystery person always in our mind.There could be a straight forward explanation for her appearances. A nice theme .all the best
Comment Written 07-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2021
-
Thank you so much, Sanku.