Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Genius in Love, Scene 6"In Search of a Soul
35 total reviews
Comment from Brenda Henderson
You have packed a lot of both character and story development into this compelling narrative. Your reader is captivated and held to the end. The stage direction and author notes help the reader to envision the scene. Well Done!
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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You have packed a lot of both character and story development into this compelling narrative. Your reader is captivated and held to the end. The stage direction and author notes help the reader to envision the scene. Well Done!
Comment Written 25-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you so much, Brenda. Your kind words and your lovely sparklies, make writing the play worthwhile. It's the equivalent of a
Bravo! or "Author! Author!" Here I am!
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You're very welcome!
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Jay, you've done it again. You've reached into a world few understand, and bring out raw emotions and understanding.
I love the description of the creepy teacher who, inadvertently, triggers Cornelius into an episode.
Good interplay between Jenny and Cornelius. She's the one character who cares and understands.
Good job of playing Cililla, who tries to interrupt Mr. Hiney's tirade. Love that name, by the way, hehe.
I actually worked with an 8th grade teacher, female, named that once. She was actually really nice, though I'm sure she endured much from her Middle School kids, lol.
Great job, my friend,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Jay, you've done it again. You've reached into a world few understand, and bring out raw emotions and understanding.
I love the description of the creepy teacher who, inadvertently, triggers Cornelius into an episode.
Good interplay between Jenny and Cornelius. She's the one character who cares and understands.
Good job of playing Cililla, who tries to interrupt Mr. Hiney's tirade. Love that name, by the way, hehe.
I actually worked with an 8th grade teacher, female, named that once. She was actually really nice, though I'm sure she endured much from her Middle School kids, lol.
Great job, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment Written 25-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Rhonda, you've made my day! Thank you so much. I actually thought Hiney might have been a regionalism or Squires family childhood jargon for the butt, but I've had people here from all over the world respond to its humor. Anyway, Rhonda, your words are lovely, the six just gorgeous! Thanks again!
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You are quite welcome!
Comment from kmoss
Whoa! Man, I thought I had some messed up, perverted teachers in the 90's. Is this how it was back then? Somehow all I can think of is the dickhead teacher from The Wall (Pink Floyd), "what do we have here? Poems, you say?" Just the overpowering dominance some of those assholes had. Well done, as always!
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Whoa! Man, I thought I had some messed up, perverted teachers in the 90's. Is this how it was back then? Somehow all I can think of is the dickhead teacher from The Wall (Pink Floyd), "what do we have here? Poems, you say?" Just the overpowering dominance some of those assholes had. Well done, as always!
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you, Krystal! A sixer ... yipeeee! I'm so happy it has engaged you to this extent.
Comment from tfawcus
Superb characterisation, both in the scene itself and in the pen portraits attached to the list of characters. This is a scene of gradually rising tension that explodes dramatically towards the end. The classroom atmosphere is finely imagined.
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Superb characterisation, both in the scene itself and in the pen portraits attached to the list of characters. This is a scene of gradually rising tension that explodes dramatically towards the end. The classroom atmosphere is finely imagined.
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Tony, your words mean so much to me and the added buffer the 6 stars provide. They keep me going, my friend.
Comment from royowen
Hiney sounds like a lot of teachers I had when I was young. Some were reputed to be suffering "shell shock" but now they call it PTSD, still sends the guys off their heads, obviously we are not meant to be like that. I can understand Cornelius going "off his rocker". Hiney would lose his job today. Excellent post Jay, great scriptal episode, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Hiney sounds like a lot of teachers I had when I was young. Some were reputed to be suffering "shell shock" but now they call it PTSD, still sends the guys off their heads, obviously we are not meant to be like that. I can understand Cornelius going "off his rocker". Hiney would lose his job today. Excellent post Jay, great scriptal episode, blessings Roy
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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I am finding more and more people who are relating, negatively of course, to Mr. Hiney slow breakdown, compared to Corneilius's sudden one. Thank you, Roy, for adding your personal perspective to it.
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Most welcome
Comment from MissMerri
I am totally caught up in this tale you are telling so wonderfully. I really hope some day this will be a produced performance that thousands can see. It is fascinating, and gripping and suspenseful and so well put together I am sure someone will buy it. It could also be a movie, of course. I can see nothing to suggest or complain about, but only much to praise. MM
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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I am totally caught up in this tale you are telling so wonderfully. I really hope some day this will be a produced performance that thousands can see. It is fascinating, and gripping and suspenseful and so well put together I am sure someone will buy it. It could also be a movie, of course. I can see nothing to suggest or complain about, but only much to praise. MM
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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You know how to raise a person's self-esteem. Your six stars are over the top. Thank you. An endless string of thank yous, Merri!
Comment from judiverse
I wonder how long Hiney has been allowed to pursue his peculiar way of teaching. Of course things were different in the 1950s and students then probably wouldn't have dreamed of complaining. I'm wondering about Cilillia and whether she is actually going to help Cornelius. I'm still wondering how you can present her. Maybe by what she wears of by special lighting. Hiney seems to like going after the most sensitive and easily affected student, Cornelius. Great Scene. judi
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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I wonder how long Hiney has been allowed to pursue his peculiar way of teaching. Of course things were different in the 1950s and students then probably wouldn't have dreamed of complaining. I'm wondering about Cilillia and whether she is actually going to help Cornelius. I'm still wondering how you can present her. Maybe by what she wears of by special lighting. Hiney seems to like going after the most sensitive and easily affected student, Cornelius. Great Scene. judi
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Only one person mentioned the exchange between Mr. Hiney and Cornelius that ended scene 1. All the students had left. It was only Mr. Hiney and Cornelius. Mr. Hiney initiated it with the words, "You see things, Cornelius. Things the others don?t see. Isn?t that ??" And Cornelius, rattled went to the door but turned back around and muttered, "Mr. ? Hiney ? Um ? Yes." I really don't know why I had the teacher say what he said, or why Cornelius answered as he did. It just happened.
You are the model for scriptwriting, Judi. I always humbly thank you for your kindnesses and for all that the sixes mean.
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You're very welcome. Cornelius seems an easy target for Hiney. I think your script would be a hit, maybe for off-Broadway, as it's avant-garde in its presentation. Best of luck. judi
Comment from muffinmama
The drama is palpable from the beginning of the scene and builds with each sentence that Mr. Hiney utters. I have to keep reminding myself that the story is set in the 50's, because my immediate reaction is, why is he allowed to get away with this crap?
The meltdown by Cornelius is so well staged; the visuals are perfect. It was a shock to see Cililla having the same meltdown until you realize that she is part of Cornelius and would of course be affected. However, there is possibly hope for Cornelius because Cililla fights back against their demons.
Great scene.
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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The drama is palpable from the beginning of the scene and builds with each sentence that Mr. Hiney utters. I have to keep reminding myself that the story is set in the 50's, because my immediate reaction is, why is he allowed to get away with this crap?
The meltdown by Cornelius is so well staged; the visuals are perfect. It was a shock to see Cililla having the same meltdown until you realize that she is part of Cornelius and would of course be affected. However, there is possibly hope for Cornelius because Cililla fights back against their demons.
Great scene.
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you, thank you, Ryma! You brought up a part of Cililla that I believe many readers have forgotten, or not really understood ... that Cililla is a reflection of the best and worst of Cornelius. Thank you for bringing that out. I believe I already gave you a reviewer vote, or I'd give you one now (well, it would have had to be next month's because FanStory told me I don't have any more). But you are a valuable asset to a writer here. Thank you for coming up to the plate every week and knocking it out of the park.
Comment from Jill McCauslin
The photo you used for this is compelling. Once I read the description of Cornelius I understood why you used it. Your script is good. Mr. Hiney is so swarmy that I was feeling a bit anxious about him. Great job! I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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The photo you used for this is compelling. Once I read the description of Cornelius I understood why you used it. Your script is good. Mr. Hiney is so swarmy that I was feeling a bit anxious about him. Great job! I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Jill, I'm happy to have you aboard. Yes, the photo was chosen after a long search. At first I felt he was too good looking, but, hey! what's wrong with that? Thanks for coming along. See you next scene.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Scene of the Script speaks the truth, the psychological order of manifestation so subtly but dramatically (6 Stars ******); well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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This Scene of the Script speaks the truth, the psychological order of manifestation so subtly but dramatically (6 Stars ******); well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 24-May-2021
reply by the author on 25-May-2021
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Thank you, ALCREATOR for your thoughtful words and the six stars! I'm so happy you found it worthwhile.