One Thousand Cranes
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Scattered White Blossoms"Gypsy's Favorites
22 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
This has a feeling of loss and sadness about the death of someone in a car accident. You always see news stories about this kind of remembrance at the sight of a death.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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This has a feeling of loss and sadness about the death of someone in a car accident. You always see news stories about this kind of remembrance at the sight of a death.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 18-May-2021
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words... Joan.
Gypsy
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You are most kindly welcome, Gypsy.
Joan
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This Katauta is excellent, to be sure...but, it doesn't need to be examined much because the words in it are quite clear. A bike and its rider, collided with a car, and the bike had a bunch of flowers in its basket, that then spilled to the ground. Am I getting close?
Anyway, this is a sad visual of a bike rider getting hit by a car...I hope the rider is all right!
Have a beautiful day,
Jesse
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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This Katauta is excellent, to be sure...but, it doesn't need to be examined much because the words in it are quite clear. A bike and its rider, collided with a car, and the bike had a bunch of flowers in its basket, that then spilled to the ground. Am I getting close?
Anyway, this is a sad visual of a bike rider getting hit by a car...I hope the rider is all right!
Have a beautiful day,
Jesse
Comment Written 18-May-2021
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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The rider in the poem could be dead, The meaning is up to the reader.
the real one is okay.
Thank you very much for your review and kind words... Jesse.
Gypsy
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I am glad that the real rider of the bike is okay.
Have a nice afternoon,
Jesse
Comment from Wendy G
A perfect ending, because that is what makes the scene vivid and alive in one's imagination. The tragedy of the basket of flowers beside her. I hope you were not badly injured in your own accident, and that you recover quickly!
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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A perfect ending, because that is what makes the scene vivid and alive in one's imagination. The tragedy of the basket of flowers beside her. I hope you were not badly injured in your own accident, and that you recover quickly!
Comment Written 18-May-2021
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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I'm okay, just achy, thank you.
In classic haiku we don't use alliteration, but this is a contemporary haiku.
Thank you very much for your review and kind words... Wendy.
Gypsy
Comment from Gloria ....
Well for goodness sake, thank heavens this turned out okay for you. And a car and bike collision can be very serious.
I love what you have one with this, because it tells a story in very few words.
The Katauta is an excellent form for this. Very nicely done, and thank goodness you are okay. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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Well for goodness sake, thank heavens this turned out okay for you. And a car and bike collision can be very serious.
I love what you have one with this, because it tells a story in very few words.
The Katauta is an excellent form for this. Very nicely done, and thank goodness you are okay. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 18-May-2021
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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I'm okay. We were very lucky in the car. The motorcyclist is in the hospital recovering. He hit the side I was and I could have been dead if it wasn't for the car airbags.
In classic haiku we don't use alliteration, but this is a contemporary haiku.
Thank you very much for your review and kind words... Gloria.
Gypsy
Comment from Ginnygray
Lovely format of a poem describing a tragedy, the bike being struck by a car. The blossoms seem so dainty having fallen beside her side as if indicating death.
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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Lovely format of a poem describing a tragedy, the bike being struck by a car. The blossoms seem so dainty having fallen beside her side as if indicating death.
Comment Written 18-May-2021
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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In classic haiku we don't use alliteration, but this is a contemporary haiku.
Thank you very much for your review and kind words... ginny.
Gypsy
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
There is much sadness in these words as blooms are left on the roadside of an accident, a poignant write and grief follows such an event, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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There is much sadness in these words as blooms are left on the roadside of an accident, a poignant write and grief follows such an event, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-May-2021
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words... Dolly.
Gypsy
Comment from juliaSjames
"flowers basket by her side" - " flower basket by her side"
Such a twist in this poem. I was imagining blossoms on the grass under a cherry tree then boom! my mood shifted. The lines collided like the accident.
And of course there is the subtext as mentioned in your notes about the symbolism of cherry blossoms in Japan.
Expertly written, Gypsy, with effortless flow.
Happy you were only banged up, not seriously hurt. Feel better in mind, spirit and body. Sending white light!
Please be careful and safe
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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"flowers basket by her side" - " flower basket by her side"
Such a twist in this poem. I was imagining blossoms on the grass under a cherry tree then boom! my mood shifted. The lines collided like the accident.
And of course there is the subtext as mentioned in your notes about the symbolism of cherry blossoms in Japan.
Expertly written, Gypsy, with effortless flow.
Happy you were only banged up, not seriously hurt. Feel better in mind, spirit and body. Sending white light!
Please be careful and safe
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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Julia, thank you for the healing white light.
Jan told me about the flower basket, I corrected the error.
Thank you very much for your review and kind words... Julia.
Gypsy
Comment from kahpot
A wonderful though sad read, ( I am glad you are alright) in this poem I need to ask in your last line "flowers basket by her side" why is this not
( flower basket by her side?) very well presented****kahpot
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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A wonderful though sad read, ( I am glad you are alright) in this poem I need to ask in your last line "flowers basket by her side" why is this not
( flower basket by her side?) very well presented****kahpot
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 18-May-2021
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In classic haiku we don't use alliteration, but this is a contemporary haiku.
Thank you very much for your review and kind words... Kym.
Gypsy
Comment from Raul1
I like your structure of this haiku poem. It is clear and concise. I like your description. Well written. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 17-May-2021
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I like your structure of this haiku poem. It is clear and concise. I like your description. Well written. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 17-May-2021
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thank you, raul :)
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You're welcome, my friend! :)
Comment from Senyai
Hi Gypsy Rose Blue,
Your Katauta is a little diamond of words. I love this form and your words reminded me of how lovely cherry trees and their blossoms really are. Your image conveyed of a tumble on the bike spreading flowers everywhere does bring to mind how fragile life is...like delicate cherry blossoms...Hope you are recovering from your car wreck.
Finely crafted and a joy to read. Thanks for posting,
Best wishes,
Senyai
reply by the author on 17-May-2021
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Hi Gypsy Rose Blue,
Your Katauta is a little diamond of words. I love this form and your words reminded me of how lovely cherry trees and their blossoms really are. Your image conveyed of a tumble on the bike spreading flowers everywhere does bring to mind how fragile life is...like delicate cherry blossoms...Hope you are recovering from your car wreck.
Finely crafted and a joy to read. Thanks for posting,
Best wishes,
Senyai
Comment Written 17-May-2021
reply by the author on 17-May-2021
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Thank you very much, Senyai. I went to ER today and got all checked out. I'm okay... in pain but not too bad. I appreciate your kind words and feedback. May you have a lovely night.
Gypsy
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Gypssy, take care and heal. You have a lovely night as well.
Senyai