Johnnie Motorcycle rides again
Childhood games31 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
A fascinating retrospective look at childhood games and the pecking order that is involved. I found the personal narrative compelling and the ending an emotional shock. Nicely crafted.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
  |
A fascinating retrospective look at childhood games and the pecking order that is involved. I found the personal narrative compelling and the ending an emotional shock. Nicely crafted.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
-
Thank you Tony. I appreciate your review and kind comments.
Take care,
Mary
Comment from Bill Schott
This story, Johnnie Motorcycle Rides Again, has a great sense of life and imagination which is then dashed to give the reader a sense of loss. Whether his leadership is honored here or the scourge of wardenounced, the loss is real.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
|
This story, Johnnie Motorcycle Rides Again, has a great sense of life and imagination which is then dashed to give the reader a sense of loss. Whether his leadership is honored here or the scourge of wardenounced, the loss is real.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
-
Thank you Bill. I appreciate your thoughts and kind comments.
Take care,
Mary
Comment from Susan Newell
This is such a bittersweet story. I could imagine everything you wrote about. Eddie was indeed a leader. It shows how children used to invent their own ways to play, rather than wait to be entertained, or enrolled in some kind "structured" sports or hobbies. It's sad that one of the games was war. It is also sad that we lost so many Eddies to the Vietnam "conflict." I remember playing like that in small-town NH. We had the luxury of roaming, usually in small groups. Thanks for the read.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
|
This is such a bittersweet story. I could imagine everything you wrote about. Eddie was indeed a leader. It shows how children used to invent their own ways to play, rather than wait to be entertained, or enrolled in some kind "structured" sports or hobbies. It's sad that one of the games was war. It is also sad that we lost so many Eddies to the Vietnam "conflict." I remember playing like that in small-town NH. We had the luxury of roaming, usually in small groups. Thanks for the read.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
-
Thank you for your kind thoughts and review. I agree that at that time, we used our imagination rather than be mindlessly entertained.
Regards
Mary
-
You are welcome.
Comment from RetroStarfish
Wonderful story and a tribute to Eddie. Everything about our childhoods seems so important at the time, including our crushes. The heart breaking ending and the way you circled back to the childhood wargames was really, really well done.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
|
Wonderful story and a tribute to Eddie. Everything about our childhoods seems so important at the time, including our crushes. The heart breaking ending and the way you circled back to the childhood wargames was really, really well done.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
-
Thank you for your kind comments and review. It is greatly appreciated.
Regards,
Mary
Comment from Sharon Davis
A concise well presented piece of biological non-fiction, this story has a touching and heartfelt theme of true leadership, recognized in childhood. I enjoyed the opportunity to read this piece.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
|
A concise well presented piece of biological non-fiction, this story has a touching and heartfelt theme of true leadership, recognized in childhood. I enjoyed the opportunity to read this piece.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
-
Thank you Sharon.
I appreciate your kind comments and review.
Take care
Mary
Comment from robyn corum
Mary,
Your girl-child fantasy hero had become a real one. How horribly tragic. He sounds like a really cool guy. You mentioned the girls but were there any guys among the group? It was pretty neat that he allowed so many yucky girls to play along. *smile*
Thanks so much - I'm sorry about your friend.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
|
Mary,
Your girl-child fantasy hero had become a real one. How horribly tragic. He sounds like a really cool guy. You mentioned the girls but were there any guys among the group? It was pretty neat that he allowed so many yucky girls to play along. *smile*
Thanks so much - I'm sorry about your friend.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
-
Thank you for your review. As I think about it I do not remember any boys at least no one stuck out in my memory
So I guess Eddie lead the first girl army.
Mary
Comment from LisaMay
What a well-crafted story! You let the reader into your life as a child, impressed by Eddie... I felt like I was part of the gang. Your touches of humour are enjoyable, Cheeta.
Then the fun and games suddenly got serious, when he moved away and the light went out of the funtimes. And then it became ultra serious - death in Vietnam. You sure packed a punch in closing.
Some suggestions:
I was also given a role, (use a colon : instead of a comma) meet Cheeta, the chimpanzee!
He would lead "his gang" (of) five of us
made loud sounds, pretending. (no need for full stop here; keep the sentence running on, with lower case 'h') He was on a racetrack and a mean biker.
Greenfields was the place of death and gore. (The paragraph that follows could be added after this. I don't think it needs to be on a separate line.)
He would chose (choose) the sides of the good and bad guys.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
|
What a well-crafted story! You let the reader into your life as a child, impressed by Eddie... I felt like I was part of the gang. Your touches of humour are enjoyable, Cheeta.
Then the fun and games suddenly got serious, when he moved away and the light went out of the funtimes. And then it became ultra serious - death in Vietnam. You sure packed a punch in closing.
Some suggestions:
I was also given a role, (use a colon : instead of a comma) meet Cheeta, the chimpanzee!
He would lead "his gang" (of) five of us
made loud sounds, pretending. (no need for full stop here; keep the sentence running on, with lower case 'h') He was on a racetrack and a mean biker.
Greenfields was the place of death and gore. (The paragraph that follows could be added after this. I don't think it needs to be on a separate line.)
He would chose (choose) the sides of the good and bad guys.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
-
Thank you for your kind words and review. It is appreciated along with the suggestions/corrections. I fixed.
Regards,
Mary
Comment from DonandVicki
The last line blew me away:
"His games had become real as I looked down on him lying in his casket."
So many of the childhood games become all too tragic later in life.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
|
The last line blew me away:
"His games had become real as I looked down on him lying in his casket."
So many of the childhood games become all too tragic later in life.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2021
-
Thank you for your review. It is much appreciated.
Regards,
Mary
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Wow, what a tragic end for a friend. I enjoyed reading this, Mary, although it was poignant. You did a good job recounting the fun times until Eddie moved away. The ending, though true, was unexpected.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
|
Wow, what a tragic end for a friend. I enjoyed reading this, Mary, although it was poignant. You did a good job recounting the fun times until Eddie moved away. The ending, though true, was unexpected.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
-
Thank you Jan for your kind words and review.
It is truly appreciated.
Take care
Mary
Comment from Erika Seshadri
This story starts out so light-hearted and fun, and, just like growing up, becomes so very serious at the end. A very touching and well-written piece. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
|
This story starts out so light-hearted and fun, and, just like growing up, becomes so very serious at the end. A very touching and well-written piece. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2021
-
Thank you Erika
For your kind thoughts and review.
Best wishes
Mary