Comment from Judy Lawless

Excellent

You've started us on another suspenseful journey, Carol! What a sad situation for Bethany. It's too bad that she has been trained not to trust people who want to help her. Looking forward to seeing how this goes.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2021

Thanks, Judy - I think it is going to be a roller coaster ride for Bethany - I want her to find the good in life, but it won't be easy for her. Appreciate your kind review. Smiles to you! Carol

Page 2 is written and now I ponder where to go from there -

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Oh, my. This really is a dark one! You've written it as if it's actually happening. I don't believe her dad gave Toby away, I think he killed him in a drunken rage at the same time he hurt Bethany. Now she is inside that spooky house. Is her dad there? Something is. I wish Roberta had gone inside with her. Now I have to wait to find out what is going on. Excellent writing as always, Carol. And I am really looking forward to the next part. :)) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2021

It's written and waiting to make its debut! I am sitting here pondering where I take it next - I think this will be a roller coaster ride for Bethany with many ups and downs. thanks as always for reading and reviewing. Many smiles to you, Sandra. You boost my spirit every day.

Comment from Mrs. KT

Excellent

Good Morning, Carol!
Love the suspense!
There is tension, reality, fine dialogue and questions galore in this fine first chapter.
I initially thought that the daughter may have been driving the car... Now I realize that there is something far more sinister transpiring ... especially since the dog has not been seen or heard...

I'll be waiting for your next installment!

Thank you for sharing!
diane

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 Comment Written 23-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2021

Diane, Thanks for reading and sending me such a nice review. I wanted to speak out about abuse, but I also want to show that there is a way out too. Not sure where the story is going after the next chapter, but I want it to move to a lighter page if only for a moment. My mind is mixing it up at the moment. Smiles to you! Carol

reply by Mrs. KT on 23-Mar-2021

Well, best wishes!
You are on your way; that is for certain!

Smiles back at you!
diane

Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock

Excellent

The scenario you are presenting in this story is pretty evident and speaks of an interesting story.

NB:
You have started with the name Veronica and then she is called Virginia and then Veronica. Needs edits. also...

"Sure, (Rachel). Nice to meet you, Veronica.">> s/b 'Roberta'

Let me know when you edit and I will revise stars.

Ralf



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 Comment Written 23-Mar-2021

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2021

I was just correcting that mistake, but I appreciate you pointing it out, because I certainly miss a lot of things lately. The first two are a dreadful situation, but I hope to find her happiness after that. I wanted to speak out about abuse because it's part of society, but I'd like to show we can find a way out too. Thanks so much for reading and helping me out. Smiles to you!

reply by Raffaelina Lowcock on 23-Mar-2021

I'll check it out and adjust.

reply by Raffaelina Lowcock on 23-Mar-2021

I readjusted, but you need to change Rachel to Roberta.

Ralf

reply by the author on 23-Mar-2021

I just did! LOL You are one step ahead of me - Good for you!