Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Betrayal Chapter 23"In the title.
42 total reviews
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
So glad Tania is healing and able to leave soon. And that Grant is interested in her for more than just building blueprints. I always felt they belonged together. =] Well done as always my dear. Rox
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2021
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So glad Tania is healing and able to leave soon. And that Grant is interested in her for more than just building blueprints. I always felt they belonged together. =] Well done as always my dear. Rox
Comment Written 03-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much, Rox. You and many others have thought that Grant and Tania should be together. We'll see what happens over the next few chapters. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. Thanks, my friend. :)) Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from Tpa
An enjoyable segment. I liked the slowly change Grant has made during the hospital's visits. Also, I saw the difference Tania is showing with Grant. Is there soon to be a romantic flair? good reading.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2021
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An enjoyable segment. I liked the slowly change Grant has made during the hospital's visits. Also, I saw the difference Tania is showing with Grant. Is there soon to be a romantic flair? good reading.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much, Tpa, for another lovely review. Romantic flair? We shall see, lol. I'm glad you enjoyed this part. Thanks, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from dmt1967
''(Aren't they are) beautiful? But I'm sorry to have to tell you that flowers are not allowed in hospitals because of the bacteria they contain.' ' (Aren't they or They are)
They both agreed to stop the blame game, deciding to place it exclusively on Colin's shoulders where it belonged, although it would take more than that for Grant ()forgive himself. (to)
Another great chapter. I would have liked to see a little more emotion. A good way of doing this is inner thought, I find. It gives the reader an insight into what the character is feeling through their thinking process.
As I said, a great chapter. Thank you for sharing and stay safe.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2021
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''(Aren't they are) beautiful? But I'm sorry to have to tell you that flowers are not allowed in hospitals because of the bacteria they contain.' ' (Aren't they or They are)
They both agreed to stop the blame game, deciding to place it exclusively on Colin's shoulders where it belonged, although it would take more than that for Grant ()forgive himself. (to)
Another great chapter. I would have liked to see a little more emotion. A good way of doing this is inner thought, I find. It gives the reader an insight into what the character is feeling through their thinking process.
As I said, a great chapter. Thank you for sharing and stay safe.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2021
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Goodness! Thank you for spotting that! I've corrected it now. Thank you so much for that and the lovely review. I'll also take another look to see how I can improve the emotional areas. Thanks again, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from muffinmama
And the wonderful writing continues.
The pace is fast enough to sustain interest but slow enough to allow emotions to evolve.
The relationship is gradually becoming more intense, and that's realistic. Except for rare exceptions, strong feelings need time to grow.
This ended leaves me wanting more.
Just a couple of tiny typos:
- "I'll get my solicitor to draw up a contract' Grant became serious..."
What's the punctuation you wanted after 'contract'?
- Missing word after Grant in : "... more than that for Grant forgive himself."
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2021
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And the wonderful writing continues.
The pace is fast enough to sustain interest but slow enough to allow emotions to evolve.
The relationship is gradually becoming more intense, and that's realistic. Except for rare exceptions, strong feelings need time to grow.
This ended leaves me wanting more.
Just a couple of tiny typos:
- "I'll get my solicitor to draw up a contract' Grant became serious..."
What's the punctuation you wanted after 'contract'?
- Missing word after Grant in : "... more than that for Grant forgive himself."
Comment Written 02-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for another lovely review, Muffinmama, and the golden sixth star! You say such nice things about my writing, and I do so appreciate you. And a big thank you for spotting those errors and letting me know, I've made the corrections. I can't thank you enough. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sandra.
This is a marvelous chapter for the book delving into the emotional
aspect of the two main characters as Tania and Grant,
who hardly know each other, begin the healing process.
Hard to believe they've only actually met a few times for short periods;
they seem to be learning about themselves as well as each other.
Marilyn sounds like a wonderful person. LOL
No wonder Grant has "woman" problems.
Another Sandra Stoner-Mitchell page turner.
Well done
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2021
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Hello Sandra.
This is a marvelous chapter for the book delving into the emotional
aspect of the two main characters as Tania and Grant,
who hardly know each other, begin the healing process.
Hard to believe they've only actually met a few times for short periods;
they seem to be learning about themselves as well as each other.
Marilyn sounds like a wonderful person. LOL
No wonder Grant has "woman" problems.
Another Sandra Stoner-Mitchell page turner.
Well done
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 01-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2021
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Aw, thank you, Robert. You are the only one who has realised how little time together Tania and Grant has spent. Only twice before her rescue. But now things are going to change. This review put a big smile on my face. Thank you, also, for the lovely six stars. It's a lovely review to wake up to. Sending you one of my special hugs. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
It is so good to see Tania recovering and a possibility of romance in the future for her and Grant. Monica is a good reliable friend. Everyone needs a friend like Monica who will fly to our side when we are in trouble.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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It is so good to see Tania recovering and a possibility of romance in the future for her and Grant. Monica is a good reliable friend. Everyone needs a friend like Monica who will fly to our side when we are in trouble.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much, Rebecca, for all those shiny stars and you lovely review. Monica is the type of friend who sticks with you come what may, and she has always been protective of Tania. I'm glad you like her. Thanks, my friend. Sending you a warm hug. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Sandra.
You included a lot of interesting background information in this part. Tania got herself a real job with a contract. It is clear that her talent for architecture his outstanding. I detect a merger coming up. I said it the first chapter and I say it again.
I'm interested in seeing how much "time" Colin gets. The largest university in the state of Pennsylvania is called Penn State. Colin needs to be at State pen. HAHAHA
Robert
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Hello Sandra.
You included a lot of interesting background information in this part. Tania got herself a real job with a contract. It is clear that her talent for architecture his outstanding. I detect a merger coming up. I said it the first chapter and I say it again.
I'm interested in seeing how much "time" Colin gets. The largest university in the state of Pennsylvania is called Penn State. Colin needs to be at State pen. HAHAHA
Robert
Comment Written 01-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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What are you??? LOL! you are so funny. Thank you, Robert, for your lovely review, and I know you are waiting for the big love scene! Lol, I think you've been waiting for it since part 1!! Keep tuned in! Sending you a huge hug, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment from JudyE
Another well-written chapter and hopefully Grant will be able to overcome his antipathy towards women. It seems he is well on the way.
A few suggestions but ignore whatever doesn't sit well with you.
Tania gave Grant a somewhat twisted smile due to the swelling. - I might have rearranged this a little. Maybe 'Because of the swelling, the smile Tania gave Grant was somewhat twisted.'
Although, the twinkle in her eyes and the smile, twitching the corners of her mouth, did take the edge off the reprimand - delete comma after 'Although'
Grant didn't dispute it, how could he? He was responsible, there was no getting away from it. - replace commas with periods. These are four separate sentences and each should stand alone.
'It's not your fault, Colin's your brother'. - delete comma. You wouldn't pause here if you were reading it so there is no need for a comma.
Where have I heard those words before? Grant looked at what Colin had inflicted on Tania. He would never forget the shock that hit him when he first saw her. - maybe put a rider here. 'first saw her when?' When they broke into the room?
Carl had carried Tania out the room - should be 'out of the room'
As he continued to gaze down on her, he noticed her eyelid on her good eye begin to droop. - I might have said 'the eyelid on her good eye' but I doubt it's important.
'Thank you, Grant,' Tania said once the nurse had left the room. - comma after 'said'
'I'm glad you came earlier today, I wanted to have a chat before Monica arrived. - replace comma with a period.
When he came in today, Tania was sitting by the window and appeared to be in a world of her own. - the 'today' seems totally out of place. Maybe 'The day came when he arrived to see Tania sitting by the window, appearing to be in a world of her own.
Over the last few days Grant had found himself - comma after 'days'
The clattering of the tea-trolly - spelling - tea-trolley
You're giving me a neckache.' -two words I think for 'neck ache'
They both agreed to stop the blame game, deciding to place it exclusively on Colin's shoulders where it belonged. Although it would take more than that for Grant forgive himself. - replace period with a comma. And it should be 'for Grant to forgive himself.'
Lumping all women into the category of liars and betrayers, had been wrong, he realised that now. - delete comma
She'd been surprised alright, so had he. - replace comma with a period
Best wishes
Judy
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Another well-written chapter and hopefully Grant will be able to overcome his antipathy towards women. It seems he is well on the way.
A few suggestions but ignore whatever doesn't sit well with you.
Tania gave Grant a somewhat twisted smile due to the swelling. - I might have rearranged this a little. Maybe 'Because of the swelling, the smile Tania gave Grant was somewhat twisted.'
Although, the twinkle in her eyes and the smile, twitching the corners of her mouth, did take the edge off the reprimand - delete comma after 'Although'
Grant didn't dispute it, how could he? He was responsible, there was no getting away from it. - replace commas with periods. These are four separate sentences and each should stand alone.
'It's not your fault, Colin's your brother'. - delete comma. You wouldn't pause here if you were reading it so there is no need for a comma.
Where have I heard those words before? Grant looked at what Colin had inflicted on Tania. He would never forget the shock that hit him when he first saw her. - maybe put a rider here. 'first saw her when?' When they broke into the room?
Carl had carried Tania out the room - should be 'out of the room'
As he continued to gaze down on her, he noticed her eyelid on her good eye begin to droop. - I might have said 'the eyelid on her good eye' but I doubt it's important.
'Thank you, Grant,' Tania said once the nurse had left the room. - comma after 'said'
'I'm glad you came earlier today, I wanted to have a chat before Monica arrived. - replace comma with a period.
When he came in today, Tania was sitting by the window and appeared to be in a world of her own. - the 'today' seems totally out of place. Maybe 'The day came when he arrived to see Tania sitting by the window, appearing to be in a world of her own.
Over the last few days Grant had found himself - comma after 'days'
The clattering of the tea-trolly - spelling - tea-trolley
You're giving me a neckache.' -two words I think for 'neck ache'
They both agreed to stop the blame game, deciding to place it exclusively on Colin's shoulders where it belonged. Although it would take more than that for Grant forgive himself. - replace period with a comma. And it should be 'for Grant to forgive himself.'
Lumping all women into the category of liars and betrayers, had been wrong, he realised that now. - delete comma
She'd been surprised alright, so had he. - replace comma with a period
Best wishes
Judy
Comment Written 01-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for another lovely review, and all those wonderful stars, Judy!! I've made all the corrections. But I've changed the part where Grant brings in a bouquet of flowers, because they aren't allowed in hospitals now, I forgot that! I've had the nurse explain it to him and take them away. All the rest is as it was with the corrections. Thank you again, big time. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Cute, Tania is back and ready to fight for what it's hers;"
'No! I mean, yes! I do want them, and no, I didn't offer the contract to anyone else. After seeing yours, none of the others came close. I'm just astonished that you would still consider selling them to me after what you've been put through.'
'I'm not a total idiot, Grant. That I'd do that just to spite you would be ridiculous. Business is business. So, it's a deal then?'
'Absolutely! I'll get my solicitor to draw up a contract' Grant became serious, his eyes brooking no argument for what he was about to say. 'I'll also pay you for those I bought from Colin. That will happen immediately.'
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Cute, Tania is back and ready to fight for what it's hers;"
'No! I mean, yes! I do want them, and no, I didn't offer the contract to anyone else. After seeing yours, none of the others came close. I'm just astonished that you would still consider selling them to me after what you've been put through.'
'I'm not a total idiot, Grant. That I'd do that just to spite you would be ridiculous. Business is business. So, it's a deal then?'
'Absolutely! I'll get my solicitor to draw up a contract' Grant became serious, his eyes brooking no argument for what he was about to say. 'I'll also pay you for those I bought from Colin. That will happen immediately.'
Comment Written 01-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Thank you, Iza, I'm delighted you enjoyed this part. Sending you warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Sanku
Lovely chapter .It was so relaxing to read this after the tension filled previous ones. Tania is well and truly given the merit she is long over due.And both of them are interested in each other.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Lovely chapter .It was so relaxing to read this after the tension filled previous ones. Tania is well and truly given the merit she is long over due.And both of them are interested in each other.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2021
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Aw, I'm really glad you enjoyed this part, Sanku. Yes, Grant and Tania will be working together in future, once everything is cleared up. Thank you so much, my friend. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx