Rougarou Nights
Wrong place at the wrong time.36 total reviews
Comment from blondie560
I was thoroughly creeped out by things that go bang in the night. I could feel the mosquitos buzzing by my ear. Yeah I wouldn't have made it. That was a pretty tangled up story he found himself in. I did have to look up what pirogue and rougarou were but I had a pretty good idea; at least on the second one. I did chuckle at the Lay's potato chip line. Good story!
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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I was thoroughly creeped out by things that go bang in the night. I could feel the mosquitos buzzing by my ear. Yeah I wouldn't have made it. That was a pretty tangled up story he found himself in. I did have to look up what pirogue and rougarou were but I had a pretty good idea; at least on the second one. I did chuckle at the Lay's potato chip line. Good story!
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much, Blondie560, for your kind words, if being creeped out is kind... LOL, and your excellent review. This isn't a favorite genre, but sometimes we just need to get outside our comfort zones. LOL. Thanks for stopping by to review and your encouragement. Much appreciated!
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Definitely meant it kindly. If I can feel or picture your descriptions it?s a plus!😁
Comment from equestrik
WOW! This would have been so darn scary and yes, I would have gotten the heck out of there or better yet, not been anywhere near that swamp in the dark. Good thriller writing.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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WOW! This would have been so darn scary and yes, I would have gotten the heck out of there or better yet, not been anywhere near that swamp in the dark. Good thriller writing.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much, Equestrik, for you kind words and generous review. I even gave myself the willies with this one. This isn't my favorite of genres, but sometimes I just need to get outside my comfort zone. In truth, I probably wouldn't have been there either. LOL. I appreciate your comments and encouragement!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, this story is packed with action: racing through the swamp, a prospect lover killed in the middle of the night, and finally running but ending back where it begins with "Rougarou had found me. " . Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Wow, this story is packed with action: racing through the swamp, a prospect lover killed in the middle of the night, and finally running but ending back where it begins with "Rougarou had found me. " . Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much, Iza, for your kind words and generous review. This isn't a favorite genre for me, but sometimes I just like to get out of my comfort zone and do something different. I appreciate your time and encouragement!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, Ric, I wish I had some sixes left, you'd have them all! The first part would have given me nightmares had I read it at bedtimes, my heart was jumping around like my grandson jumping on his trampoline! You listed all my phobias! This was an incredible story, Some of your descriptions, I wish I'd thought of, the welcome mat was amazing, and that is so true, I've walked on ours without my shoes on, and it really is painful. I loved the ending, 'you' went to the wrong house! LOL, all that pain and fear for nothing, and the ravishing lady walked into the police-station! I hope she gave 'you' a second chance. Loved this story, my clever friend. Well done! So sorry no sixes. Can I pop over and give you a hug instead?? :)) Love Sandra. xxxx
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Oh, Ric, I wish I had some sixes left, you'd have them all! The first part would have given me nightmares had I read it at bedtimes, my heart was jumping around like my grandson jumping on his trampoline! You listed all my phobias! This was an incredible story, Some of your descriptions, I wish I'd thought of, the welcome mat was amazing, and that is so true, I've walked on ours without my shoes on, and it really is painful. I loved the ending, 'you' went to the wrong house! LOL, all that pain and fear for nothing, and the ravishing lady walked into the police-station! I hope she gave 'you' a second chance. Loved this story, my clever friend. Well done! So sorry no sixes. Can I pop over and give you a hug instead?? :)) Love Sandra. xxxx
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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My, dear, sweet friend, you can come give me a hug anytime! "The more the merrier," as they say, from the right person. Thank you so much, Sandra, for your kind words and encouraging review. And you don't know how glad I am that you understood the welcome mat, one of my FanStory friends didn't like it. Oh, well. Different strokes. I just try to entertain myself with all my foolishness, but when an outstanding writer like you gets a chill or a smile from this old hack's ramblings it's even better. It's always a pleasure to read your work, get your reviews, and anticipate the warmth of your faraway hugs. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from nor84
Oh my! It's my friend Ric, and with a werewolf story!
As you probably know, the purpose of this review is to be helpful. I will point out any SPAG errors I see and rate according to site guidelines. SPAG means Spelling, Punctuation And Grammar. I may also comment on formatting issues. I will not give a five or six-star review unless I believe the work warrants it and I won't lie to you.
I'd take the hyphen out of bald-cypress because I think you're saying the cypress tree is bald. I don't think bald-cypress is the name of the tree. Don't need a hyphen here: swamp-water's can just be swamp water's. fresh-meat doesn't require a hyphen, it's just fresh meat ala carte (I think I spelled that right.) couple-hours of questions doesn't need a hyphen. I think dinnertime can be used without a hyphen.
If hyphen overuse is the only error I can find, I'm still giving the writing what it deserves: SIX STARS!
Norma
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Oh my! It's my friend Ric, and with a werewolf story!
As you probably know, the purpose of this review is to be helpful. I will point out any SPAG errors I see and rate according to site guidelines. SPAG means Spelling, Punctuation And Grammar. I may also comment on formatting issues. I will not give a five or six-star review unless I believe the work warrants it and I won't lie to you.
I'd take the hyphen out of bald-cypress because I think you're saying the cypress tree is bald. I don't think bald-cypress is the name of the tree. Don't need a hyphen here: swamp-water's can just be swamp water's. fresh-meat doesn't require a hyphen, it's just fresh meat ala carte (I think I spelled that right.) couple-hours of questions doesn't need a hyphen. I think dinnertime can be used without a hyphen.
If hyphen overuse is the only error I can find, I'm still giving the writing what it deserves: SIX STARS!
Norma
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much, Norma, for your kind words, suggestions, and the extra-special six-star review. Encouraging reviews are always more rewarding and motivating when they come from fantastic talents like you. I can't thank you enough. I write really fast, so I make lots of mistakes, always. But I usually save a piece and spend a couple days editing and correcting errors before releasing it, never catching them all. But for some reason, when I saved this piece it went live immediately, mistakes and all. There were four reviews before I could start editing and correcting, so I've never caught up. LOL. I'm headed to fix your suggestions right now. I appreciate YOU!
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Thanks, Ric. I'm going to 'fan' you.
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Yeah! I'm kind of feeling like the George Jefferson guy that used to be on TV. I'm moving on up. There's no one I would rather have on my fan list!
Comment from Jay Squires
Fascinating story, Ric. Damn, but you are a powerful writer! The first part about the gators, had me nearly climbing over the back of my chair.
Here are some notes as I read along.
This transition sentence set up the tension that was to follow. Your description of the Bayou creatures was suberb.
[Ric, I don't believe you can use "sustain" as a noun. And if you could, I don't know that it would make any sense here.
Toward the end, I would like to have heard more about his intended date that evening. She shows up, but doesn't say anything to him. Had the police called her in to corroborate his story of what happened? I'm sure these questions will niggle at other readers' minds as well.
Also, is this a work in progress? A chapter from a novel? If it's a standalone, why did you bring in the Rougarou with such ominous intent as having found the protagonist and then not take it anywhere?
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Fascinating story, Ric. Damn, but you are a powerful writer! The first part about the gators, had me nearly climbing over the back of my chair.
Here are some notes as I read along.
This transition sentence set up the tension that was to follow. Your description of the Bayou creatures was suberb.
Toward the end, I would like to have heard more about his intended date that evening. She shows up, but doesn't say anything to him. Had the police called her in to corroborate his story of what happened? I'm sure these questions will niggle at other readers' minds as well.
Also, is this a work in progress? A chapter from a novel? If it's a standalone, why did you bring in the Rougarou with such ominous intent as having found the protagonist and then not take it anywhere?
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much, Jay, for your kind words, suggestions, questions, and generous review. I was trying to use sustain (a transitive verb) as a noun by position (a person or thing that sustains). But since you say it doesn't work, I just changed it restraint. As for you wanting to hear more about the intended date, good, I kept you wanting. She only showed up at the police station because she was the next door neighbor and they wanted to know what she might have seen and if she knew my car. I like to niggle at reader's mind and keep them working a little. Why should I tell them everything and not let them be a part of the story. LOL. The Rougarou is thought of by most as an old folklore tale, which most don't believe. He was afraid and didn't know what to believe, like most of us would be. The Rougarou wasn't the protagonist. He is probably not even real. Maybe he's just hearing things. This is strictly a story of what happened, not what could have happened if there really is a Rougarou. LOL. I write fast and often make many mistakes before I re-write and edit. I usually save my stories and then go back and work out the bugs for a few days. Unfortunately, when I clicked save with this one it went live immediately and I never got a chance to fix my mistakes. Then, four reviews came in before I could make any corrections and it's been a mess ever since. LOL. Thanks a million my friend! I appreciate YOU! Sorry, didn't mean to write you a novella. See what I mean about writing fast.
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I admire you for writing fast. I have always been a word-by-word writer, incredibly slow. My "What the Hell's a Jay Squires" took me weeks to write at the rate of 2 1/2 hours daily, and after that, editing and fine-tuning.
I find that our writing style finds us; we don't go searching for it. But I'm probably wrong.
Comment from Mastery
Hi Don. I had a tugh time keeping track of all the bad animals, snakes and insects, but you sure made it scary enough with all of them painted in living color and described very well, my friend. LOL
Notes: With similes if they aren't very brief and very good, they go over like a lead balloon. This is good: " pierced my skin like harpoons,"
This one, not so good: "raising more wheals than the coco-fiber blades in a not-so-welcome mat." (just my opinion, friend.)
Something wrong here? "previous night, she anything but dead."
Keep it going, Don. this could be a series.
Best wishes, Bob
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Hi Don. I had a tugh time keeping track of all the bad animals, snakes and insects, but you sure made it scary enough with all of them painted in living color and described very well, my friend. LOL
Notes: With similes if they aren't very brief and very good, they go over like a lead balloon. This is good: " pierced my skin like harpoons,"
This one, not so good: "raising more wheals than the coco-fiber blades in a not-so-welcome mat." (just my opinion, friend.)
Something wrong here? "previous night, she anything but dead."
Keep it going, Don. this could be a series.
Best wishes, Bob
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Thanks, Bob. I appreciate the kind words and the suggestions. I'm glad you liked the harpoon simile. As for the "raising more wheals than the coco-fiber blades in a not-so welcome mat," you aren't the first who didn't like it. But once I explained to the other person that every fiber in those welcome mats that go by our front doors is a coco blade and how many thousands there are, and that the wheals on his body weren't so welcoming and plentiful, it sort of tied the meanings together for them and they changed their mind. I hope it does the same for you, as it's one of my favorite sentences of the story. Thank you so much for reading and the time you spend to offer your helpful advice. I changed the sentence you were having trouble understanding. "After a couple-hours of questions, they opened the door and in walked my dinner date from the previous night, she anything but dead." "After a couple-hours of questions, they opened the door and in walked my dinner date from the previous night. She was ravishing, anything but dead."
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Hi Don. All I am saying, I guess is if you have to explain something to the reader about the fabric or whatever, it is not a very good simile. There is a book you can google and have access to, my friend. It lists a ton of similes you might borrow from. Just saying. :) Bob
Comment from Ulla
Well, Ric, this is a great story, told with aplomb. The poor man was caught up in a complete nightmare. I loved the story. Now, remember, I'm half Danish and I grew up in Denmark. So many English writers love to use 'smorgasbord' without knowing what it means. That it is spelled wrongly is a by de by. You don't even have the letters in your language, so how would you know? What it really means is that it is a table full of an array of dishes. And that's where your metaphor fails. Where are all the choices of the Rougarou? Pedantic? You bet. I loved your story, and wished I had a six. Give me a warning next time. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Well, Ric, this is a great story, told with aplomb. The poor man was caught up in a complete nightmare. I loved the story. Now, remember, I'm half Danish and I grew up in Denmark. So many English writers love to use 'smorgasbord' without knowing what it means. That it is spelled wrongly is a by de by. You don't even have the letters in your language, so how would you know? What it really means is that it is a table full of an array of dishes. And that's where your metaphor fails. Where are all the choices of the Rougarou? Pedantic? You bet. I loved your story, and wished I had a six. Give me a warning next time. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much, Ulla, for your kind words, suggestions, and generous review. I'm sorry so many use the word "Smorgasbord," different than it is intended, and I appreciate you bringing it to my attention. However, I used the word which is spelled exactly as the dictionary and Swedish reference shows it, and as a metaphor of a buffet or many different dishes, spread throughout the bayou, a smorgasbord of delicacies. Yes, "a table full of an array of dishes, but in my metaphor's case, a swamp full of many delectable feasts to choose from. Choices of all the swamps inhabitants, none on the Rougarou's diet. LOL. I appreciate your comments, and hope I've explained my explanation so that you can understand what I'm trying to say. Thanks again.
Comment from AJ McCall
SIX STARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
It's been a while since you've written a horror story, Ric. This story felt like I was reading the journal of this man. Wrong place, wrong time, doesn't that happen to us all? Funny, but scary. The 'Rougarou' is an actual myth, or did you make it up? And I love the ending paragraph and line: 'The Rougarou had found me...'
And hey! My friend is looking for some people who can write killer (ha!) one-page horror shorts. It's just me and her right now. Would you be interested?
Hit me up when you can!! Love this post!!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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SIX STARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
It's been a while since you've written a horror story, Ric. This story felt like I was reading the journal of this man. Wrong place, wrong time, doesn't that happen to us all? Funny, but scary. The 'Rougarou' is an actual myth, or did you make it up? And I love the ending paragraph and line: 'The Rougarou had found me...'
And hey! My friend is looking for some people who can write killer (ha!) one-page horror shorts. It's just me and her right now. Would you be interested?
Hit me up when you can!! Love this post!!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much, A.J., for your fantastic six-star review! Glad to know you are well after the odd storms ravaged your state. I always add a little humor even in my serious stories, but you are one of the few who catches it. :-) As for you and your friend's one-page horror shorts, it sounds fun. Just sort of depends on my time limitations. So let me know when and I'll try. Be sure and check out the writer Begin Again that I told you about. You've made my week! The sixer, and knowing you are safe! Oh, yes, the Rougarou is real. Well, probably not, but it's part of Louisiana swamp folklore. Read about it. :-)
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LOL. I'll check out that Louisiana folktale, and I just finished reading some of BEGIN AGAIN... she writes very well! I love her ghost story contest entry. You kinda write like her... I'm definitely impressed. And cool, I'll talk with Deb and let her know another person's on board. :) You've made my month, Ric! And I try to catch every little thing...It's the little things, lol. I promise I'll be posting something soon!
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I would love to write like her, but she's way above my abilities. :-) But glad you like her. Just wait until you read about Frankie the Leprechaun.
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Frankie the who? I'l check that out too! Ha! Aren't we all trying to be like someone? :)
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Frankie the Leprechaun.
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Thanks...but I knew the title, lol. I was just messing with ya :)
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Begin Again just reviewed some of my stories. Says she loves my writing as well! And she also became a fan!
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Yeah, she can help you more than I ever can. She's an outstanding writer.
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Wait you can too!!! Don't put yourself out like that! I need both of you LOL!
Comment from Jimmy Hogg
Well I learned something, cos I had no idea what The Rougarou was. You prompted a deep-dive online. Pretty cool story. Might benefit from a change of metre/tone here and there- a lot of your style is detailed, and uses long sentence structure. Just something to consider.
Cheers!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Well I learned something, cos I had no idea what The Rougarou was. You prompted a deep-dive online. Pretty cool story. Might benefit from a change of metre/tone here and there- a lot of your style is detailed, and uses long sentence structure. Just something to consider.
Cheers!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2021
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Hey, Jimmy, thank you so much for your kind and generous review. As strange as it may sound, I have reasons why I use lots of unpolished metre/tone. And you are exactly right, there are some long, almost run-on sentences. All by design for this one. Most of the time, readers get after me for short choppy sentences, my usual forte. Oh, well, if nothing else, you learned of the Rougarou. :-) Thanks a lot!
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Yeah, I thought it might be a considered choice.