One Sunny Night
Viewing comments for Prologue "One Sunny Night-Chapter 4"Romance of visitor to Alaska
13 total reviews
Comment from GE Parson
A descriptive story, I like the way you describe all the scenery, like the flowers, the smell of them, the hill side as you rode the horse down to the water edge. Your description of everything, the dogs, the horses the flowers and the bed room, made this a very interesting story.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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A descriptive story, I like the way you describe all the scenery, like the flowers, the smell of them, the hill side as you rode the horse down to the water edge. Your description of everything, the dogs, the horses the flowers and the bed room, made this a very interesting story.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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I so happy to know you found some enjoyment here. Thanks for your comments.
Comment from lancellot
This is excellent!
"Mr. Bryant, I see farming, dog racing, and horses hold a big interest in you[.]"
- I assume this is a statement.
"Whoa," {She} called. Pulling to a halt,
- she
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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This is excellent!
"Mr. Bryant, I see farming, dog racing, and horses hold a big interest in you[.]"
- I assume this is a statement.
"Whoa," {She} called. Pulling to a halt,
- she
Comment Written 02-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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Many thanks for catching these oversights. And especially for such a high rating. Very encouraging.
Comment from lyenochka
I'm so glad you have come back to this!
I like how you are building up this relationship. I don't know Starla's relationship with Stewart but it seems something is happening between Stewart and Danielle. She awakens him to notice the fragrance of the chokeberry flowers. He shows her that he's more than an oil businessman with concern about animals.
Suggestions only if you want to change:
His face alights with (maybe use "lights up" or "brightens" because "alights" means to descend. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/alight)
"Sorry mam, (ma'am)
"I don't need a one of myself. (maybe remove "a")
"This room is astonishing beautiful. (astonishingly)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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I'm so glad you have come back to this!
I like how you are building up this relationship. I don't know Starla's relationship with Stewart but it seems something is happening between Stewart and Danielle. She awakens him to notice the fragrance of the chokeberry flowers. He shows her that he's more than an oil businessman with concern about animals.
Suggestions only if you want to change:
His face alights with (maybe use "lights up" or "brightens" because "alights" means to descend. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/alight)
"Sorry mam, (ma'am)
"I don't need a one of myself. (maybe remove "a")
"This room is astonishing beautiful. (astonishingly)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
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Many thanks for checking this out. I'll try not to put the next chapter off so long. Your comments and suggestions mean so much to me.
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So glad that you are continuing to write this! 💖😍