The Boat
A 5-7-5 poetry contest entry.214 total reviews
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Right lets try.
If you follow a course with determination, it means in the first place you know where you are going before you start. Having said this, if you find yourself in a place you did not mean to go the reason may be
1
You lost your way
2 you did not know where you decided to go
3 since you did not steer you must have fallen asleep.
Or you never went anywhere.you are still where you started.
Any help?
Thank you
Benny. Beeharry
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2013
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Right lets try.
If you follow a course with determination, it means in the first place you know where you are going before you start. Having said this, if you find yourself in a place you did not mean to go the reason may be
1
You lost your way
2 you did not know where you decided to go
3 since you did not steer you must have fallen asleep.
Or you never went anywhere.you are still where you started.
Any help?
Thank you
Benny. Beeharry
Comment Written 24-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2013
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:P thank you, I really enjoyed your cute interpertation.
- G
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Seems to fit the contest writing prompt with number of syllables. I guess a more relaxed way of speaking with line 2 would be:
Yet I don't know how to steer.
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2013
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Seems to fit the contest writing prompt with number of syllables. I guess a more relaxed way of speaking with line 2 would be:
Yet I don't know how to steer.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2013
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I understand, I wanted to make it Shakespeare-like with the old talk :P
- G
Comment from Capricorn30
Excellent!
A well-crafted writing incorporating good alliteration to introduce thoughts many of us at one time or another have expressed;
It's intriguing how we arrive at destinations without realizing the manner in which we utilized.
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2013
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Excellent!
A well-crafted writing incorporating good alliteration to introduce thoughts many of us at one time or another have expressed;
It's intriguing how we arrive at destinations without realizing the manner in which we utilized.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2013
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Thank you very much, I appreciate it! I loved the review.
- G
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You're welcome.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment from Alexia350
I love this! At times, we move forward not knowing what to do and ask for help when we need it the most! Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2013
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I love this! At times, we move forward not knowing what to do and ask for help when we need it the most! Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 24-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2013
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Your welcome and thank you for the review!!! :P I'm going to be doing more posts soon.
- G
Comment from emrpoems
I so love poems when they rhyme and make sense. This poem does both. This is truly thought provoking and I think could be the though of many. GSreat 5-7-5
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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I so love poems when they rhyme and make sense. This poem does both. This is truly thought provoking and I think could be the though of many. GSreat 5-7-5
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you very much for the review and for adding me! :P I just love capturing the moments in life that make our catch our breath or question ourselves to make us improve ourselves.
Comment from Louise Michelle
I'm glad you state it's open for interpretation. Some writers expect us to be mind readers. They obscure their meaning behind metaphors and hidden messages understood only by the author. Worse, they sometimes don't get their own poems, lol. Nicely done, Lou
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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I'm glad you state it's open for interpretation. Some writers expect us to be mind readers. They obscure their meaning behind metaphors and hidden messages understood only by the author. Worse, they sometimes don't get their own poems, lol. Nicely done, Lou
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you very much! I just wanted to offer an authors insight into what my poem meant as well as hearing what other people thought.
Comment from daeneam
I guess, that's the mystery of life. We will never know if our decisions are correct until we see its consequences. We may have unfulfilled dreams but we may still live a satisfying life through the grace of our Good Lord, nothing is wasted! Good luck in the contest. c",
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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I guess, that's the mystery of life. We will never know if our decisions are correct until we see its consequences. We may have unfulfilled dreams but we may still live a satisfying life through the grace of our Good Lord, nothing is wasted! Good luck in the contest. c",
Comment Written 22-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Yes indeed! :P thank you very much for your review and niceness! :P much appreciated!
Comment from DALLAS01
Your analogy is quite befitting to relay your intent.
Your syllable count is right on point. And the art work is a perfect fit. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Your analogy is quite befitting to relay your intent.
Your syllable count is right on point. And the art work is a perfect fit. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Thank you very much for your review. :P I always think that poems are best aided if added with a photo.
- G
Comment from Sally Carter
Well, the nature of the contest asks for nothing more than 5-7-5, so no rules to observe apart from the syllable count, which your poem assuredly does.
I like the question you ask. Yes, I'm sure many of us have followed a course only to reach a destination and ask ourselves why. Your poem captures that well.
I would suggest a hyphen in the first line, so as to produce "stone-still". On first read I understood there to be a stone still (remaining) on the pier, rather than the speaker being stationary.
Best of luck in the contest,
Sally
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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Well, the nature of the contest asks for nothing more than 5-7-5, so no rules to observe apart from the syllable count, which your poem assuredly does.
I like the question you ask. Yes, I'm sure many of us have followed a course only to reach a destination and ask ourselves why. Your poem captures that well.
I would suggest a hyphen in the first line, so as to produce "stone-still". On first read I understood there to be a stone still (remaining) on the pier, rather than the speaker being stationary.
Best of luck in the contest,
Sally
Comment Written 22-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2013
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oooooh ok! :P thank you, I will add the hyphen (thank you for keeping the generous five!) appreciated Sally.
- G
Comment from tfawcus
Yes, Gabriel, it is all to easy to tread the boards of life taking the direction in which they lead, only to find oneself all at sea when approaching the end. Where to now, indeed? I suppose, like Bilbo, we must leave this earth and take our final journey by ship to the Undying Lands.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2013
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Yes, Gabriel, it is all to easy to tread the boards of life taking the direction in which they lead, only to find oneself all at sea when approaching the end. Where to now, indeed? I suppose, like Bilbo, we must leave this earth and take our final journey by ship to the Undying Lands.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2013
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:) I loved the Tolkien reference, I simply adore a things Tolkien!!! :) thank you for the review!
- G