How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Macro/Micro Critting"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
127 total reviews
Comment from Sissy
REREVIEW!
Hi Jay,
Went through again -- nice job with the edits. Only picked up one more:
you get the idea...(.)
Take care,
Sissy
Hi Mr. Jay,
Very entertaining piece! I'm glad I'm not a realtor, otherwise I'd be forced to not like you!! :) I like how you compare the house-hunt to the beginnings of deciding what to read on FanStory. Good stuff!
Some stuff to consider:
What you may have missed(need either a colon or ellipses, some form of punctuation here)
So ... (w)ith crits held high, let's proceed.
Roseana's 44-ouncer of diet (C)oke we picked up from McDonalds along the way.
The grass is uncut, weedy; trees are untrimmed, with their branches hanging over onto the roof. An engine-gutted pick-up is hunkered in the dirt, off to the side.
(Hmm...The grass is uncut, weedy; trees untrimmed, with branches hanging over onto the roof. An engine-gutted pick up hunkers down in the dirt, off to the side. ... I was trying to find a way to get rid of an 'is' or 'are'.)
I am thinking out loud. (I think out loud.?)
the last of her diet (C)oke
"Start Reviewing"
When I double click on "Start Reviewing,"
And, we wouldn't think of beginning at 4:30 in the afternoon, when the signs start coming down at 5 P.M. (5:00 -- don't need the PM, since you say afternoon earlier, and keep the '5' consistent w/ 4:30)
do a double click on "(S)tart (R)eviewing,"
and Barbies' (Barbie's) precious domicile
More basically, do I have poetry prejudices(?) And, more basically, still, do I have the skills to adequately crit poetry, particularly the more formalized, rhymed and metered variety(?) (Not sure about the double use of 'more basically', you've got a lotta commas goin' on here!)
If it is a "Yuk"(,) now is not the time,
Okay, Jay, double click on "(N)ext."
Double friggin click on "(N)ext."
I hope this helps!!
Holler for a re-review!
Take care,
Sissy
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
  |
REREVIEW!
Hi Jay,
Went through again -- nice job with the edits. Only picked up one more:
you get the idea...(.)
Take care,
Sissy
Hi Mr. Jay,
Very entertaining piece! I'm glad I'm not a realtor, otherwise I'd be forced to not like you!! :) I like how you compare the house-hunt to the beginnings of deciding what to read on FanStory. Good stuff!
Some stuff to consider:
What you may have missed(need either a colon or ellipses, some form of punctuation here)
So ... (w)ith crits held high, let's proceed.
Roseana's 44-ouncer of diet (C)oke we picked up from McDonalds along the way.
The grass is uncut, weedy; trees are untrimmed, with their branches hanging over onto the roof. An engine-gutted pick-up is hunkered in the dirt, off to the side.
(Hmm...The grass is uncut, weedy; trees untrimmed, with branches hanging over onto the roof. An engine-gutted pick up hunkers down in the dirt, off to the side. ... I was trying to find a way to get rid of an 'is' or 'are'.)
I am thinking out loud. (I think out loud.?)
the last of her diet (C)oke
"Start Reviewing"
When I double click on "Start Reviewing,"
And, we wouldn't think of beginning at 4:30 in the afternoon, when the signs start coming down at 5 P.M. (5:00 -- don't need the PM, since you say afternoon earlier, and keep the '5' consistent w/ 4:30)
do a double click on "(S)tart (R)eviewing,"
and Barbies' (Barbie's) precious domicile
More basically, do I have poetry prejudices(?) And, more basically, still, do I have the skills to adequately crit poetry, particularly the more formalized, rhymed and metered variety(?) (Not sure about the double use of 'more basically', you've got a lotta commas goin' on here!)
If it is a "Yuk"(,) now is not the time,
Okay, Jay, double click on "(N)ext."
Double friggin click on "(N)ext."
I hope this helps!!
Holler for a re-review!
Take care,
Sissy
Comment Written 04-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
-
Sissy, there was something I intended to do last review (of the dialogue piece) and I certainly am not going to be remiss in doing now. I'm giving you a thumbs up. After all your work, dear, you deserve it. Now, I'm going to print out this list and get back to work.
Jay
Comment from JeffreyStone
First off, this is excellent writing regardless of subject. I am new to FanStory(about 3 weeks) and learning the ropes, but I have already experienced some of the same frustrations and questions you describe when I review others' work. My aim is to be fair, and while I cringe at anything under a 5-star rating for my own stuff, I grudgingly give 5-star ratings (I give lots of them but only when I feel they are deserved) to someone else. I do my best not to review and critique when I am tired; and if I feel a prejudice against the genre (fantasy) or a particular form I don't consider as "real poetry"; I try not to put in my two cents. You can be assured that if I thought your writing did not rate 5-stars, I would have marked it down, and told you why I did it; since I couldn't think of a reason, you're off the hook with me. Did you ever find Roseana????
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
|
First off, this is excellent writing regardless of subject. I am new to FanStory(about 3 weeks) and learning the ropes, but I have already experienced some of the same frustrations and questions you describe when I review others' work. My aim is to be fair, and while I cringe at anything under a 5-star rating for my own stuff, I grudgingly give 5-star ratings (I give lots of them but only when I feel they are deserved) to someone else. I do my best not to review and critique when I am tired; and if I feel a prejudice against the genre (fantasy) or a particular form I don't consider as "real poetry"; I try not to put in my two cents. You can be assured that if I thought your writing did not rate 5-stars, I would have marked it down, and told you why I did it; since I couldn't think of a reason, you're off the hook with me. Did you ever find Roseana????
Comment Written 04-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
-
Thank you so much, Jeffrey, not only for your praise, but for the details in your crit. It's greatly appreciated. Roseana? She'll have to stay there until the next segment comes out in a couple of weeks. Last night it was cool so I went to her about midnight, draped a coat over her shoulders and handed her a cup of hot chocolate. She'll be okay. Thanks for your concern. And thanks for the stars.
Jay
Comment from Cairn Destop
A good analogy between commenting and the househunting hobby. While you do the "next up," my style is the hot list at the bottom. The advantage is that the list is up longer, so I don't miss good stories since the "up next" is active until the third comment is made. As to books, I agree with you. That is why I keep a list of those books I am currently reading. If a new chapter comes up, I can catch it. I do have problems with the inflation that has hit the site. It use to be that a treasure chest and ten pumps got one into the top half of page one, today it rates a place in the middle of page two. Sorry, I'll not go chasing after the top five slots. If readers don't know the old hedgehog by now, its their loss.
Do think you should use the block style for your work. It looks more professional.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
|
A good analogy between commenting and the househunting hobby. While you do the "next up," my style is the hot list at the bottom. The advantage is that the list is up longer, so I don't miss good stories since the "up next" is active until the third comment is made. As to books, I agree with you. That is why I keep a list of those books I am currently reading. If a new chapter comes up, I can catch it. I do have problems with the inflation that has hit the site. It use to be that a treasure chest and ten pumps got one into the top half of page one, today it rates a place in the middle of page two. Sorry, I'll not go chasing after the top five slots. If readers don't know the old hedgehog by now, its their loss.
Do think you should use the block style for your work. It looks more professional.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
-
Thank you for your comments, hedgehog. You gave me a dimension I hadn't considered in the age-old search for what's up next. Keep an eye open for the next installment, coming in a couple of weeks.
Jay
Comment from ArvindKumar
Excellent imagery, nice descriptaion and superb dialogues. Thanks very much for shring your work with us. I enjoyed reading this chapter.
Arvind
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
 |
Excellent imagery, nice descriptaion and superb dialogues. Thanks very much for shring your work with us. I enjoyed reading this chapter.
Arvind
Comment Written 04-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
-
Thank you Arvind. I appreciate your input very much.
Comment from FlowingInk
Refreshing look at critting. I love the manner in which you compare and contrast house hunting and writing reviewing. I also face the same dilemma regarding prejudice of a writing genre. However, I bypass that, read the work and offer the best I can regarding the piece. I want others to do the same for me, so there you have it.
Now, that is my crit of your crit analysis....ha ha
Nice work.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
|
Refreshing look at critting. I love the manner in which you compare and contrast house hunting and writing reviewing. I also face the same dilemma regarding prejudice of a writing genre. However, I bypass that, read the work and offer the best I can regarding the piece. I want others to do the same for me, so there you have it.
Now, that is my crit of your crit analysis....ha ha
Nice work.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
-
Thank you FlowingInk. I remember reading and enjoying something you wrote recently. I aprreciate your take on my series. See ya' around.
Jya
Comment from Sue-z-Q
Dear Jay:
First off, please tell me how you get the indents. Everything I've tried gets ignored.
This is very well written, Jay. I enjoy your easy, flowing style. Makes the reading easy and pleasant as well as entertaining. Many moons ago I was a real estate agent, so it was easy to relate. Lookey loos were a given.
Also interesting is that you just happen to have the same last name as a character in the novel I'm presently reading.
The upward climb to getting more member dollars and other things, has a pace as slow as the proverbial tortoise, but when you're using them, the downward spiral of your bankroll outruns any hare.
I didn't find a single thing I could ding in this piece. Keep 'em coming.
Sue-z-Q
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
|
Dear Jay:
First off, please tell me how you get the indents. Everything I've tried gets ignored.
This is very well written, Jay. I enjoy your easy, flowing style. Makes the reading easy and pleasant as well as entertaining. Many moons ago I was a real estate agent, so it was easy to relate. Lookey loos were a given.
Also interesting is that you just happen to have the same last name as a character in the novel I'm presently reading.
The upward climb to getting more member dollars and other things, has a pace as slow as the proverbial tortoise, but when you're using them, the downward spiral of your bankroll outruns any hare.
I didn't find a single thing I could ding in this piece. Keep 'em coming.
Sue-z-Q
Comment Written 04-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
-
Sue, you are so thoughtful and kind in your crit. I thank you from the bottom. (Well, okay. . . of my heart!)
To answer your question: Make sure the ms. is indented to begin with. Paste it to your desktop on your pc. When you get to Fanstory to submit it MAKE SURE YOU USE ADVANCED EDITOR. It's at the bottom of the window where the ms is pasted. Don't just paste it in. Click on the "W" button ("W" for "word") and it should paste it for you automatically with all the indents in place. If this doesn't do it for you send a PM to Tom. He'll give you the text and verse for using Advanced Editor. I learned it from him.
Thanks again, Sue.
Jay
"The upward climb to getting more member dollars and other things, has a pace as slow as the proverbial tortoise, but when you're using them, the downward spiral of your bankroll outruns any hare." HA! Now that is good and right on!
-
Dear Jay:
I must be dense, but I thought you might have an answer to a question. I asked Tom where to go to vote on stories and his answer follows.
Hi,
On the welcome page the open voting booths are available. Near where today's news is shown.
Thank you,
Tom
I found nothing saying voting booths, open or otherwise. In fact I can't recall ever seeing anything like that. Nor do I find anything called ?today's news.? Do you know what to click on?
Sue-z-Q
-
Sue-z-Q, you can only vote when a contest is open, and I don't think one is even open now. When it is it will be mentioned on the Home screen. Clear to the right. I just looked and be-gum there is a contest for new-arrivals. You can vote on that one. I don't think I'm giving you the help you want. I'm sorry.
Jay
Comment from Camus1
Ah, you have captured the Zen of "critting". You have captured the flow and essence of our self stroking, ego-maniacal pseudo-literary endeavor. We are ever vigilant in feeding that beast.
We, critters and writers all, endlessly seek that perfect combination of words which will ultimately define our indefinable selves.
What act is more egregious? Offering a poor writer piteous praise, or cutting off a pompous writer at the knees for a fair piece of work? In truth, neither the former or latter make that much of a difference.
It is the insightful writer that will push onward in spite of all. The act of writing is arguably self expression. When one adapts their self expression to the will of others, it is no longer self expression. At best, it is mediocrity.
Beware, readers and writers have cracked the Smithsonian top 100 most endangered species list, so play nice with one another.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
|
Ah, you have captured the Zen of "critting". You have captured the flow and essence of our self stroking, ego-maniacal pseudo-literary endeavor. We are ever vigilant in feeding that beast.
We, critters and writers all, endlessly seek that perfect combination of words which will ultimately define our indefinable selves.
What act is more egregious? Offering a poor writer piteous praise, or cutting off a pompous writer at the knees for a fair piece of work? In truth, neither the former or latter make that much of a difference.
It is the insightful writer that will push onward in spite of all. The act of writing is arguably self expression. When one adapts their self expression to the will of others, it is no longer self expression. At best, it is mediocrity.
Beware, readers and writers have cracked the Smithsonian top 100 most endangered species list, so play nice with one another.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2006
-
"It is the insightful writer that will push onward in spite of all. " Amen, brother. Thank you for your close reading of this chapter. Stick around if you found it either entertaining, enlightening or enheavying. More to come.
Jay
Comment from Agrona
"But, wait," I might stall. "Poems are usually short. There's a twenty-five percent chance I'll get a member pump. I can read and crit three or four poems in the time it would take for one prose piece -- and give me better odds at getting my prize. And, simply by reading them, I'll even get better at understanding. I'll learn, and while I learn, I'll be generous with my crits ... and in the meantime, five or six additional pumps could be mine."
*blushes* - guilty as charged. LOL But I do try to take my time and read between the lines ... does that count?
As for criting a chapter in the middle of a novel: if that happens, I usually critique on style, grammar and spelling. You really can't critique the overall plot at that stage. If a story really interests me, I will go back and begin with chapter one and critique those as well, even if they only pay one point and two cents. I guess that makes up for critiquing poems now and then, because they are a quick way to get $ and points LOL
But in all honesty, you do make several good points. I try ... try really hard, to stay objective. Writing is hard enough, without ignorant people replying to my work. But then again, I have to say that so far, I've had only wonderful experiences here at Fanstory! I try to critique the way I want to be critiqued.
Thanks for sharing your valuable insights!! I couldn't find any nits here!
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2006
|
"But, wait," I might stall. "Poems are usually short. There's a twenty-five percent chance I'll get a member pump. I can read and crit three or four poems in the time it would take for one prose piece -- and give me better odds at getting my prize. And, simply by reading them, I'll even get better at understanding. I'll learn, and while I learn, I'll be generous with my crits ... and in the meantime, five or six additional pumps could be mine."
*blushes* - guilty as charged. LOL But I do try to take my time and read between the lines ... does that count?
As for criting a chapter in the middle of a novel: if that happens, I usually critique on style, grammar and spelling. You really can't critique the overall plot at that stage. If a story really interests me, I will go back and begin with chapter one and critique those as well, even if they only pay one point and two cents. I guess that makes up for critiquing poems now and then, because they are a quick way to get $ and points LOL
But in all honesty, you do make several good points. I try ... try really hard, to stay objective. Writing is hard enough, without ignorant people replying to my work. But then again, I have to say that so far, I've had only wonderful experiences here at Fanstory! I try to critique the way I want to be critiqued.
Thanks for sharing your valuable insights!! I couldn't find any nits here!
Comment Written 03-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2006
-
Celtica, it seems like you're doing all the right things. I don't think there's a thing I could teach you. Actually, it's all common sense. I'm just trying to hold a mirror up to the temptations we all face. I see myself in that mirror all the time. I, too, have done my share of "reading between the lines" and getting a quick 25% shot at those silly yellow balloons. Thanks for taking the time to give me a really thoughtul crit. I appreciate it.
Jay
Comment from T. Julaton
Oh I loved this piece. It kept me on the edge of my seat. I look so forward to reading more of your work soon!
You are an inspiration to new writers like me!
Sincerely,
T. Julaton
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2006
|
Oh I loved this piece. It kept me on the edge of my seat. I look so forward to reading more of your work soon!
You are an inspiration to new writers like me!
Sincerely,
T. Julaton
Comment Written 03-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2006
-
I'm so humbled, Julaton, at your kindness. It's good that you're getting something out of my book. I am a slow writer, but I should have the next chapter out in a couple of weeks. Thanks again.
Jay
Comment from Jack Lewis
Very interesting, and quite an accurate portrayal of "life" here as well. Poor Roseana... -----------------------------------------------------------------
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2006
|
Very interesting, and quite an accurate portrayal of "life" here as well. Poor Roseana... -----------------------------------------------------------------
Comment Written 03-Oct-2006
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2006
-
Poor Roseana! Poor Roseana! The sad thing is I have to agree with you. Right now I've left her in the bathroom with a love bird on her shoulder while I'm out here thanking lovely people like you for your kindness. It's supposed to be my turn with the love bird, letting it poop on my shoulder while we bond. Ego wins out and here I sit. Poor, poor Roseana.
Jay