The Boat
A 5-7-5 poetry contest entry.214 total reviews
Comment from allinmyhead
I understand the reasoning expressed in the author's notes. I completely relate to the line "how did I get here?". I understand taking that moment to stand, stock-still and suddenly wonder if you are on the right course. However, I cannot connect with standing on the pier and not knowing where to steer from there. Is the meaning that the person pondering has not yet stepped off the pier and into a boat, because the direction to be taken is now unknown? One can't steer a pier ! So... I am a bit lost. Maybe I am taking it all too literally.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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I understand the reasoning expressed in the author's notes. I completely relate to the line "how did I get here?". I understand taking that moment to stand, stock-still and suddenly wonder if you are on the right course. However, I cannot connect with standing on the pier and not knowing where to steer from there. Is the meaning that the person pondering has not yet stepped off the pier and into a boat, because the direction to be taken is now unknown? One can't steer a pier ! So... I am a bit lost. Maybe I am taking it all too literally.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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You too it exactly as it was meant to be. The pier is where you go to rent boat or buy boats and so your in the situation (on the pier) but you haven't yet learned the best way to handle the situation. (so you cannot drive the boat or make the decision yet)
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OK. Now I have a better understanding of what you were saying.
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better than four stars now? XD jk... I wont make you change your rating.
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better than four stars now? XD jk... I wont make you change your rating.
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Absolutely :)
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Yes, this is thought-provoking. Often in life we make decisions or even very subtle changes that lead us somewhere we didn't expect. Well done and thanks for sharing~Debbie
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Yes, this is thought-provoking. Often in life we make decisions or even very subtle changes that lead us somewhere we didn't expect. Well done and thanks for sharing~Debbie
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the excellent stars :P very much appreciated.
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Gabriel,
a great metaphorical spin on a nautical theme... But I am sure with a little faith the course that you seek will become apparent... For destiny has a way of working it's magic.
Well constructed and something to ponder for us all... The learning is in the history, isn't it?
All the best for this contest.
Kindest thoughts,
James
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Hi Gabriel,
a great metaphorical spin on a nautical theme... But I am sure with a little faith the course that you seek will become apparent... For destiny has a way of working it's magic.
Well constructed and something to ponder for us all... The learning is in the history, isn't it?
All the best for this contest.
Kindest thoughts,
James
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you james :P your review is much appreciated.
Comment from ann marie mazz
hello
I'll tell you how you got there
you were driven by the magic spell of the ocean call
there is no place on earth like the ocean
this is marvelous
all is well within the entry
theme words format and presentation
thank you for sharing
enjoy the open sea and waters
and yes
the pier in which has you mesmerized
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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hello
I'll tell you how you got there
you were driven by the magic spell of the ocean call
there is no place on earth like the ocean
this is marvelous
all is well within the entry
theme words format and presentation
thank you for sharing
enjoy the open sea and waters
and yes
the pier in which has you mesmerized
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the review
- G
Comment from simplyteresa
This is a wonderful thought provoking poem, you have said so much in only 17 syllables. It is those times in life when we start looking for a lifeboat and other options. This was very enjoyable.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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This is a wonderful thought provoking poem, you have said so much in only 17 syllables. It is those times in life when we start looking for a lifeboat and other options. This was very enjoyable.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the review
- G
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Oh do I ever know that feeling, and sometimes it's not easy to get out of the situation you find yourself in. Very well-written. God loves you and I do too.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Oh do I ever know that feeling, and sometimes it's not easy to get out of the situation you find yourself in. Very well-written. God loves you and I do too.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the review
- G
Comment from kenni
A classy 5/7/5, offering triple rhyme. The challenge, the question, and then the adrenaline pump. Creative, but the second line smacks of archaic romance. Good luck. kenni
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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A classy 5/7/5, offering triple rhyme. The challenge, the question, and then the adrenaline pump. Creative, but the second line smacks of archaic romance. Good luck. kenni
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the review
- G
Comment from Poetofheart2013
Your poem is a very Good short poem about boats.
you express yourself really well. Keep up the good work.
Good Job
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Your poem is a very Good short poem about boats.
you express yourself really well. Keep up the good work.
Good Job
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the review
- G
Comment from Val Crisson
Well, you packed a great deal into this little gem. My interpretation is of a person who doesn't know how to steer or make a lifetime decision. This person is in a quandary, and doesn't know how it happened. None the less, nicely written with the extra treat of rhyme. It has a good flow, which is difficulty to get in short forms.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Well, you packed a great deal into this little gem. My interpretation is of a person who doesn't know how to steer or make a lifetime decision. This person is in a quandary, and doesn't know how it happened. None the less, nicely written with the extra treat of rhyme. It has a good flow, which is difficulty to get in short forms.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much it has only gotten to this point because of the wonderful help of other reviewers.
Comment from ElegantButler
A very good question. And so very true. We do often find ourselves either where we never dreamt of going or exactly where we think we don't want to be.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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A very good question. And so very true. We do often find ourselves either where we never dreamt of going or exactly where we think we don't want to be.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2013
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Yes, I'm glad that you saw that in my writing. :P It is so fun to write poetry that other people can see what I wrote.