Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Mother Dust"An extended story in poem form
118 total reviews
Comment from Mary Faucheux
Your words are so powerful and create a picture that is sad and harsh. I can't wait for more the of The Wandering Man
These verses speak so loudly they beat against the heart
As lust became our currency
and testing was a virtue,
poor Mother Nature bled upon
altars of profit's nurture.
Although I breathe, I live in death,
a zombie all alone,
as though the devil drinks my breath
and soaks my very bones.
Absolutely wonderful
Mary
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Your words are so powerful and create a picture that is sad and harsh. I can't wait for more the of The Wandering Man
These verses speak so loudly they beat against the heart
As lust became our currency
and testing was a virtue,
poor Mother Nature bled upon
altars of profit's nurture.
Although I breathe, I live in death,
a zombie all alone,
as though the devil drinks my breath
and soaks my very bones.
Absolutely wonderful
Mary
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Mary, thank you deeply for the fantastic review. It's touching when people really get into my work. I'm so happy that the atmosphere came across as intended, and I'm hard at work on the next chapter at the moment.
Mike
Comment from Curt Mongold
Except for the fallout, this could be almost any period in history. Ain't that a sad commentary on us as a people?
I love the thought behind this Mike, a series of poems based on a single character. The first chapter is definitely intriguing!
Let's see where it goes, shall we?
Curt
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Except for the fallout, this could be almost any period in history. Ain't that a sad commentary on us as a people?
I love the thought behind this Mike, a series of poems based on a single character. The first chapter is definitely intriguing!
Let's see where it goes, shall we?
Curt
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Curt, my man, it's great to have you along for the ride. I just hope I can keep it up! I'm as much a passenger as you on this one, dogging the footsteps in the Wandering Man's cold wake ...
Mike
Comment from skye
Strong images permeate your lines, making the wandering man come alive amid all the putrid decay and desolation.
Can't wait to see where he wanders, what he does, and finds.
Very well done.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Strong images permeate your lines, making the wandering man come alive amid all the putrid decay and desolation.
Can't wait to see where he wanders, what he does, and finds.
Very well done.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Skye! I'm looking forward to writing more adventures of the Wandering Man. I was really taken with the idea of a story, bourne out through multiple poetic chapters. Let's see where he takes us!
Mike
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Fleedleflump
A very powerful poem-
Your Wandering man is giving us a glimpse of the future if we don't worry and not do anything about the environment of our one and only Earth.
Gert
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Hello Fleedleflump
A very powerful poem-
Your Wandering man is giving us a glimpse of the future if we don't worry and not do anything about the environment of our one and only Earth.
Gert
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Gert. I'm glad he came across as intended. I really appreciate your taking the time :-)
Mike
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You are welcome Mike
Gert
Comment from Carol D Parker
How very creative. I love the rhythm. I always enjoy that in poetry and you've got it. This is a vivid picture of what we hate to think we will become. This ia a great idea, "The Wandering Man." I will look forward to hearing more about him and his travels. Good luck.
Delora
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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How very creative. I love the rhythm. I always enjoy that in poetry and you've got it. This is a vivid picture of what we hate to think we will become. This ia a great idea, "The Wandering Man." I will look forward to hearing more about him and his travels. Good luck.
Delora
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Delora :-). His journney is just beginning! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.
Mike
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Wow!
This is really interesting.
Powerful too.
Great image for it.
I like the title.
I like every word, but I try to pick out my absolute favorite parts because as a writer I like when people do that for me.
Anyway, I like your first stanza, especially the first 2 lines of that stanza. (so cool how you put that!)
I like the whole Part 2 section.
I can't wait to see where you go with this.
kathryn
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Wow!
This is really interesting.
Powerful too.
Great image for it.
I like the title.
I like every word, but I try to pick out my absolute favorite parts because as a writer I like when people do that for me.
Anyway, I like your first stanza, especially the first 2 lines of that stanza. (so cool how you put that!)
I like the whole Part 2 section.
I can't wait to see where you go with this.
kathryn
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Kathryn, thank you for your fantastic comments. As one writer to another, it means a great deal. I'm especially pleased you like the opening line, as that was written long before the rest, and really informed my thinking for the rest of the poem. More very soon!
Mike :-)
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Mike, you are welcome. I think I have to become your fan so I won't miss your next one. :)
Kathryn
Comment from Oatmeal
Fleedleflump,
The flow was very nice. The theme was good. Very reflective, all thoughts are very well described, understandable and comprehensible.
I saw no SPAG and no typos. Everything looked in place.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Fleedleflump,
The flow was very nice. The theme was good. Very reflective, all thoughts are very well described, understandable and comprehensible.
I saw no SPAG and no typos. Everything looked in place.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Oatmeal! I'm really glad you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
Comment from winsome
This is a very interesting concept. I wonder myself where the wandering man will go next. This poem was very well written and reads well. The artwork is an excellent compliment to the piece.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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This is a very interesting concept. I wonder myself where the wandering man will go next. This poem was very well written and reads well. The artwork is an excellent compliment to the piece.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Winsome :-). I'm glad I've managed to intrigue you! Next chapter due soon.
Mike
Comment from The Wood Work
I gave you a five star on this because I don't give six stars as a rule but this is damn close. What a mind you must have. I really enjoyed reading this and went back a second time and sure enough it's good!
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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I gave you a five star on this because I don't give six stars as a rule but this is damn close. What a mind you must have. I really enjoyed reading this and went back a second time and sure enough it's good!
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Thank you, CWood. I take that as a great compliment.
Mike
Comment from words
Ah, a bleak apocalyptic verse that very well could be a prophetic tale.
I especially liked:As lust became our currency
and testing was a virtue,
poor Mother Nature bled upon
altars of profit's nurture.
Eventually the land was dry,
no creature found a mate.
The world, in all its innocence,
fell victim to our hate.
We do seem to be honing the earth's rape and pillage to a fine art.
Profit does seem to be our God, although, how you can mark something as a profit that costs so much, I do not know.
Like your wandering man.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Ah, a bleak apocalyptic verse that very well could be a prophetic tale.
I especially liked:As lust became our currency
and testing was a virtue,
poor Mother Nature bled upon
altars of profit's nurture.
Eventually the land was dry,
no creature found a mate.
The world, in all its innocence,
fell victim to our hate.
We do seem to be honing the earth's rape and pillage to a fine art.
Profit does seem to be our God, although, how you can mark something as a profit that costs so much, I do not know.
Like your wandering man.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2010
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Words, I'm so glad you enjoyed this first installment! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts with me :-)
Mike