Reviews from

One Sunny Night

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "One Sunny Night-Chapter 2"
Romance of visitor to Alaska

5 total reviews 
Comment from Shirley McLain
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


I love the storyline and I don't see Danielle going home to her stuffy boyfriend. I did find a couple of things to suggest to you. I hope you have a wonderful day. Shirley

done, nor just(I would suggest dropping, just) because she had to fly home Monday?
"Hey Babe, about time you returned by (my) calls."

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 10-Oct-2020
    Thanks a million for your encouragement and for noting my errors -- they come often. Good to hear from you, Shirley.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh, things are really getting complicated. Seems like Dixie is worried that Curtiss likes Danielle. Meanwhile, Danielle's boyfriend is rather demanding and bossy. I wonder what will happen between Danielle and Stewart, even though he stands for things she doesn't approve of... Great job with this chapter!
Suggestion:
metal connex boxes. (conex or CONEX) I looked it up because I didn't know what 'connex' was but I see it's those large metal shipping containers.

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
    Hello Helen, Connex in one dictionary program spelled with 2 n's, but on my favorite program, it did not show up. Since it is a common term heard often, I think I'll spell it conex.
    Thanks so much for reading this one and for the high rating.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Dear Alaska, a perfect post as far as I am concerned. Your story is well constructed and the story moves right along,
I also appreciate that you have inserted paragraphs from time to time, reminding your readers of important events and information, while also allowing new readers to catch up.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
    Thanks so much for reading this one. I very much appreciate your comment and for the high rating.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very interesting story with great possibilities. Your characters appear real and their conversations sound natural and flow well. Love this story!

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2020
    I'm delighted by your comments on characters. Thanks so much for reading it and for the high rating.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh, romance sweet romance springing from unexpected places. We will see what's happening in the next scene. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2020
    Thanks so much for taking time to read this and especially for the high rating.