Renga Multi-Author Book
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Tumbleweeds"Renga is a Japanese linked poetry 5/7/5 and 7/7
20 total reviews
Comment from Mark Schardine
south wind susurrus whispers
of tumbleweed rustling sounds
The wind whispers and calms us, gives us tranquil moments, and yet it will at times upset us and cause to think that danger is coming.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2020
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south wind susurrus whispers
of tumbleweed rustling sounds
The wind whispers and calms us, gives us tranquil moments, and yet it will at times upset us and cause to think that danger is coming.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much for your review
Comment from Mark D. R.
Gypsy,
Still not sure if this verse deserves a six or not. 'Susurrus' is such an interesting sounding word with lots of possibilities. However in my my mind it is a bit redundant with whispers and rustling used in the same poem. Heck, I am so glad I did not need to spell that word for you (-;
Mark
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
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Gypsy,
Still not sure if this verse deserves a six or not. 'Susurrus' is such an interesting sounding word with lots of possibilities. However in my my mind it is a bit redundant with whispers and rustling used in the same poem. Heck, I am so glad I did not need to spell that word for you (-;
Mark
Comment Written 24-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
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thank you
Comment from rama devi
I love all those S sound! Great two line addition to this awesome book.
The medley of alliterated S and W sounds like what it describes!
I like the counterpoint of L sounds in this line:
of tumbleweed rustling sounds
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
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I love all those S sound! Great two line addition to this awesome book.
The medley of alliterated S and W sounds like what it describes!
I like the counterpoint of L sounds in this line:
of tumbleweed rustling sounds
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 24-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much, Rama Devi, I appreciate your expert feedback.
hugs,
gypsy
Comment from Bill Schott
This couplet, Tumbleweeds, part of the renga, has the cold wind blowing in and the signs of dying becoming more prevalent.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2020
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This couplet, Tumbleweeds, part of the renga, has the cold wind blowing in and the signs of dying becoming more prevalent.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much for your kind review and honest feedback. I really appreciate it.
hugs,
gypsy
Comment from Ulla
Hola Marival, and this is such a lovely couplet that ads to the overall picture.
What I didn't realise is that the same writer can have several entries? Please confirm. I that case I may want to add another poem. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2020
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Hola Marival, and this is such a lovely couplet that ads to the overall picture.
What I didn't realise is that the same writer can have several entries? Please confirm. I that case I may want to add another poem. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 23-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2020
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Hola Ulla :)
Yes! You can contribute as many chapters as you like. :)
Thank you very much for your kind review and honest feedback. I really appreciate it.
hugs,
gypsy
Comment from karenina
LOVE that you are including each contribution so the reader can follow from the start to this latest post! It gives the form so much context and life! I'd give you six stars just for including "susurrus" in your two lines! Yes, I had to look it up! (smile)--Karenina
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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LOVE that you are including each contribution so the reader can follow from the start to this latest post! It gives the form so much context and life! I'd give you six stars just for including "susurrus" in your two lines! Yes, I had to look it up! (smile)--Karenina
Comment Written 22-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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Thank you, Karenina, you are sweet. I appreciate your kind feedback.
hugs
gypsy
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So I really impressed my husband weaving susurrus into our dinner conversation... (Laughing....)---Karenina
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LoL good for you :)
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Tee-hee. Whenever I do this he just half smiles and says "So, you spent time on that poetry site today?"----K
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LoL
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I LOVE looking up new (for me) words! It makes me feel so brilliant to drop them like a cracker into my husband's soup! LOL-----Karenina
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written couplet and addition to the Renga multi-author book. Tumbleweed silently move in the wind that sweeps over open fields.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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A very well-written couplet and addition to the Renga multi-author book. Tumbleweed silently move in the wind that sweeps over open fields.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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Thank you
Comment from June Sargent
This is a great followup to my haiku on the desert. Despite a few glitches here and there, this book of Renga has been a great project. I'm glad you offered it and hope you will continue to tease our muses with new ideas.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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This is a great followup to my haiku on the desert. Despite a few glitches here and there, this book of Renga has been a great project. I'm glad you offered it and hope you will continue to tease our muses with new ideas.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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Thank you, June :) yes, I plan to continue. I changed the author notes. I think they had too much detail. I hope I didn't scare people off. It's a fine line. I'm having fun. :)
Hugs
Gypsy
Comment from lightink
This is a very sound oriented piece - you found both great onomatopoeias and a lot of 's' consonances to support the theme. Great image and wonderful sounding!
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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This is a very sound oriented piece - you found both great onomatopoeias and a lot of 's' consonances to support the theme. Great image and wonderful sounding!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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Hello, my friend, thank you very much for your review and kind words. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Hugs :)
Gypsy
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
These tumbleweeds remind me of the vast American plains and you captured the scene perfectly with so few words, your book is growing! Glad to have been a part of it. Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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These tumbleweeds remind me of the vast American plains and you captured the scene perfectly with so few words, your book is growing! Glad to have been a part of it. Love Dolly x
Comment Written 22-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020
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Hello, Dolly, thank you very much for your review and kind words. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Hugs :)
Gypsy