Comment from Alchera

Excellent

Fourteen syllables within ten words have been sufficient for the poetess to encapsulate the complete Saharian desertic yellow sand in contrast with its fabulous African sky. So short so beautifu! Great work!

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2020

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2020

Thank you, Tony, for this review.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello, Marjon,

Great addition to our renga book. You followed Roy's haiku well. Would you mind adding this to your author notes?


.........................please, copy and paste these notes to your author notes.........................
Renga is Japanese collaborative poetry in which alternating stanzas, of 5-7-5 stanza and 7-7 couplets are linked in succession by multiple poets. The most famous renga master was Matsuo Basho.

If you would like to contribute a chapter to this renga book, click on ADD CHAPTER icon over the review box.

A 5/7/5 stanza is followed by 7/7 couplet and a 7/7 couplet is followed by 5/7/5 haiku following the same theme without repeating the same words.

Please copy and paste this author notes to yours.

*If you need help, please contact Gypsy Blue Rose.

.........................................................................end of copy and paste .............................................

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020

Thanks for the review, Gypsy! I will paste your text.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

I know those sands very well and my house, car, driveway and patio are covered in it! So I sympathise and it is called a calima. In the Canaries some of the tourists are unable to breathe and are often hospitalised because of this sand in the air, a very real problem, your couplet highlights it and this is a good contribution to the book, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2020

Yes, Dolly. Thanks for the review. I guess in the Canaries this phenomenon is more often the case than in Mallorca, as the Canaries are much closer to the Sahara. I am glad you liked it.

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

I see this couplet, Winds From the South, may tack onto a haiku which is no longer displayed. This brings me, therefore, from Mt. Fuji to the Sahara.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2020

Well, also a nice one, and the the comparison between the Mt Fuji and the Sahara is maybe a surprising one, but has its charm.
Thanks for reviewing the Sahara sand one.

Comment from The Death

Excellent

Your poem has strong imagery of the yellowish skies on a windy day. Superb use of S alliteration. The artwork matches your words well. Did you intend to not capitalize South? Guessing from your notes, it must be a lovely sky scene--if only it won't lead to rain. I enjoyed reading this.

 Comment Written 21-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2020

Thank you very much indeed for this great review. As in practically all Eastern poetry forms, haiku, senryu, and others, the use of capitals and punctuation is reduced to the bare minimum. Preferably not at all. This in mind, I left South in lower case.
The scene of the yellow sky, colored by Sahara sand, is indeed spectacular. When there is also sun trying to penetrate, it is almost golden. Yes, the rain then is devastating.

reply by The Death on 21-Jul-2020

Thanks for your kind response! Lucky you get to witness it. We have rainy season going on here.

reply by the author on 21-Jul-2020

Welcome again. We have a hot summer at the moment, with a scorching sun.
Please read my poem "Impression" to get an idea of what Mallorca is like. I'd love to see your opinion.

Comment from CHANYA MASHENGU

Excellent

I liked the choice of image which marched the description.

I appreciate her choice of words to express the scenario.

Well done and captivating piece

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2020

Thanks, Chanya, for the review.

Comment from June Sargent

Excellent

This is a striking image of desert sands and winds. And your couplet is a great follow-up to the previous entry. I have picked up on the desert theme with my haiku. Thanks for a lovely addition to keep the flow moving in a beautiful direction.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020

Thank you, June, for this very kind review.

Comment from amada

Excellent

This is a very descriptive Renga poem. You wrote the lines in a very exquisite sequence, I could feel the heat of the Sahara desert in my face. This is a popular book, maybe I will give it a try. Beautiful postings, yours in one of the best.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020

Wow, Amada, I thank you so much for this praise and review!

Comment from Suzanna Ray

Excellent

Dear Marjon, I am glad to see that you got IN on this renga book deal. I wonder if the all 100 poems and pictures will be available on a special FanStory site when the book is finished?
Did you get to select this illustration? or was it supplied by Gypsy (a crazy graphic for sure )

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020

I found this illustration in FanArt and thought it was perfectly suited for the Sahara sand lines. I hope, like you, that we will be able to see and read the final result! It was much fun to do and to participate in this splendid idea.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written addition to the multi-author Renga book. When the winds blow from south to north you receive the Sahara desert sands in your skies sitting down on earth.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2020

Thanks for this nice review of my 7-7 attribution.