Renga Multi-Author Book
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Berry Tide"Renga is a Japanese linked poetry 5/7/5 and 7/7
25 total reviews
Comment from Regina Elliott
Hi Bill, your haiku and the photo go perfectly well together. It really has a berry
and wine image. Fab poem.
Good luck with other reviews,
it's stunning. Blessings to
you and your family. ~
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Hi Bill, your haiku and the photo go perfectly well together. It really has a berry
and wine image. Fab poem.
Good luck with other reviews,
it's stunning. Blessings to
you and your family. ~
Comment Written 14-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Wow! This one goes back a couple of years. Thank you, Regina, for the great review. Bill
Comment from rama devi
Wonderful continuance with your imaginative metaphor of red wine! Nice alliteration in all lines, Bill! My only critique is to reconsider using the word THE twice. Not ideal in short form. Perhaps you might consider replacing one of them with a descriptive word to get maximum mileage in meaning for the syllables?
Nice presentation!
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Wonderful continuance with your imaginative metaphor of red wine! Nice alliteration in all lines, Bill! My only critique is to reconsider using the word THE twice. Not ideal in short form. Perhaps you might consider replacing one of them with a descriptive word to get maximum mileage in meaning for the syllables?
Nice presentation!
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Agreed. Changed it to ?red?. Thanks.
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PERFECT!
Comment from The Death
Fine use of alliteration. Excellent word economy. I liked the vivid images presented here. One can easily visualize the lovers at the beach. The presentation is nice as well.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Fine use of alliteration. Excellent word economy. I liked the vivid images presented here. One can easily visualize the lovers at the beach. The presentation is nice as well.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Thank you for giving this a look.
Comment from UpNorth
I liked the picture and the idea of wine color washing in but I don't see the image of berries that the ocean brings back.
How about: the ocean tides crush the dawn
the ocean spills the
Just a thought. I think of wine: crushing, fermenting, spilling
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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I liked the picture and the idea of wine color washing in but I don't see the image of berries that the ocean brings back.
How about: the ocean tides crush the dawn
the ocean spills the
Just a thought. I think of wine: crushing, fermenting, spilling
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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This haiku connects to a renga. The theme of berries and love is carried over here.
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I have to figure out how renga works on FanStory. I know how it works in group passing. I'll read the fine print on explanation before I give comment. Thank you for that insight.
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You can access this renga by going to chapter one by Pam. There you can add either a haiku or couplet depending on what?s next.
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Thank You.
Comment from Gloria ....
Whoa, now we are getting into something delicious. An ocean of wine might be just the thing to get that love lingering.
A great continuation of the renga and a perfect burgundy sunset. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Whoa, now we are getting into something delicious. An ocean of wine might be just the thing to get that love lingering.
A great continuation of the renga and a perfect burgundy sunset. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Thank you, Gloria
Comment from Margaret Bednar
With that lighting, it is reminiscent of wine. This poem is Gorgeously imagined. A nice extension to the entire poetic prompt. Beautiful words and photo.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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With that lighting, it is reminiscent of wine. This poem is Gorgeously imagined. A nice extension to the entire poetic prompt. Beautiful words and photo.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Thank you, Margaret
Comment from harmony13
The first two lines of this poem flow and connect well. The last line
says it all! The poem flows and connects well. I love the color scheme
the author chose. It goes well with the artwork and compliments this
poem. Have a great weekend!
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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The first two lines of this poem flow and connect well. The last line
says it all! The poem flows and connects well. I love the color scheme
the author chose. It goes well with the artwork and compliments this
poem. Have a great weekend!
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Thank you, harmony
Comment from Mistydawn
What a great way to describe this beautiful sunset, so unique, yet accurate. It does look like wine has spilled across the land. Nicely done, I love your gorgeous picture.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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What a great way to describe this beautiful sunset, so unique, yet accurate. It does look like wine has spilled across the land. Nicely done, I love your gorgeous picture.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Thank you, MD
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Well chosen words here that give us an ambient feel of romance and red hot passion mixed in with the pleasure of soothing red wine, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Well chosen words here that give us an ambient feel of romance and red hot passion mixed in with the pleasure of soothing red wine, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2020
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Thank you, Dolly
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Bill, I am starting to realize that several of my friends are in on this Renga Multi=Author Book project.
If you are the one needing to post a 'Red' 5-7-5 You have saved the day for the whole club with this picture from your collection.
Bravo,
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Dear Bill, I am starting to realize that several of my friends are in on this Renga Multi=Author Book project.
If you are the one needing to post a 'Red' 5-7-5 You have saved the day for the whole club with this picture from your collection.
Bravo,
Comment Written 17-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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Thank you, Suzanna