Renga Multi-Author Book
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Funeral Procession"Renga is a Japanese linked poetry 5/7/5 and 7/7
23 total reviews
Comment from ameen786
Gloria my friend, I only wish I had just a little imagination from your beautiful mind; another picture perfect write from your mighty muse; please check syllables in the first line; a wonderful week to you my friend.
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reply by the author on 23-Jul-2020
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Gloria my friend, I only wish I had just a little imagination from your beautiful mind; another picture perfect write from your mighty muse; please check syllables in the first line; a wonderful week to you my friend.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much always for your review, Kamran. Funeral is pronounced fune-ral, bringing it to five syllables. :))
Gloria
Comment from UpNorth
Oh, lovely-and the bridge imagery reinforces it. Subtlety says so much. Unspoken is so loud in it's intent. Thank You for this read on a blowy, sultry summer afternoon.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2020
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Oh, lovely-and the bridge imagery reinforces it. Subtlety says so much. Unspoken is so loud in it's intent. Thank You for this read on a blowy, sultry summer afternoon.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much for a wonderful review. Always appreciated. :))
Gloria
Comment from catch22
Hi G, this is such a gorgeous poem that evokes sadness and finality after the death of a loved one. I loved the imagery and the satori is extremely thought provoking. The orchard is akin to the material world, and as the seeds float away, new life is waiting to be born into it.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2020
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Hi G, this is such a gorgeous poem that evokes sadness and finality after the death of a loved one. I loved the imagery and the satori is extremely thought provoking. The orchard is akin to the material world, and as the seeds float away, new life is waiting to be born into it.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much always, Pam for a terrific review. :))
Gloria
Comment from Miss Cookie Atkinson
I like the photo of you choose to go with your poem.
You words captured my attention from the start .
Not only did you make a perfect match I can feel the emotion like the water under the bridge. Have a blessed Sunday.
Cookie
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
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I like the photo of you choose to go with your poem.
You words captured my attention from the start .
Not only did you make a perfect match I can feel the emotion like the water under the bridge. Have a blessed Sunday.
Cookie
Comment Written 19-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much always, Miss Cookie. :))
Gloria
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Your very welcome
have a safe and blessed day
Cookie
Comment from Margaret Bednar
A beautiful rendering of nature's demise. Seed boats drifting beneath a footbridge is lovely! Slowly circling and bobbing up in down upon the current ...
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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A beautiful rendering of nature's demise. Seed boats drifting beneath a footbridge is lovely! Slowly circling and bobbing up in down upon the current ...
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much always, Margaret. :))
Gloria
Comment from Debbie Pope
This is a perfect response to Diane's death in the orchard. Perhaps the seed boats carry portions of the pecked berries. Even without Diane's berry lines though, the artwork looks like a funereal procession. It makes me think of Camelot and the dead Lady of Escalot floating down the river. I think that I even see some weeping willow trees withdrawing in respect.
Having seeds on little boats is so creative and delightful.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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This is a perfect response to Diane's death in the orchard. Perhaps the seed boats carry portions of the pecked berries. Even without Diane's berry lines though, the artwork looks like a funereal procession. It makes me think of Camelot and the dead Lady of Escalot floating down the river. I think that I even see some weeping willow trees withdrawing in respect.
Having seeds on little boats is so creative and delightful.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2020
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LOL, yes, Diane's birds really did demolish the fruit and that was so much fun, I had to carry on with something equally dramatic. Thank you so much always, Debbie. :))
Gloria
Comment from rama devi
Wow! This is remarkably unique and thought provoking. Great imagery and presentation too. Superb phonics, especially the consonance and alliteration of F. Excellent word economy. Potent write!
Love it.
Hugs,
rd
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
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Wow! This is remarkably unique and thought provoking. Great imagery and presentation too. Superb phonics, especially the consonance and alliteration of F. Excellent word economy. Potent write!
Love it.
Hugs,
rd
Comment Written 18-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much rd for an exceptional rating and terrific review. :))
Gloria
Comment from lightink
That's a beautiful follow up for the earlier death -theme.
Also seed boat sound so much like speed boat, it made me smile.
Such an awesome image - it feels like the image line is a satori line as well (making the seed pods into a funeral procession).
Beautifully written, my dear!
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
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That's a beautiful follow up for the earlier death -theme.
Also seed boat sound so much like speed boat, it made me smile.
Such an awesome image - it feels like the image line is a satori line as well (making the seed pods into a funeral procession).
Beautifully written, my dear!
Comment Written 17-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
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Thank you so much always, Jyoti. :))
Gloria
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for adding your addition to Gypsy Blue Rose's Renga book. I relished your parallel artwork selection to help link the works. (Perhaps, you could edit the line to "funeral cortege" to maintain the five-syllable count of the haiku and the vivid image.) Best wishes- Joan
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
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Thank you for adding your addition to Gypsy Blue Rose's Renga book. I relished your parallel artwork selection to help link the works. (Perhaps, you could edit the line to "funeral cortege" to maintain the five-syllable count of the haiku and the vivid image.) Best wishes- Joan
Comment Written 17-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2020
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Funeral is an elision in the same vein as memories, that does have three syllables but is pronounced as two. Thank you so much Joan for a great review. :))
Gloria
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I guess on the part of the country you're from... Have a peaceful weekend- Joan
Comment from royowen
I must have missed this prompt so I'll keep out of it, but it sounds like girl I've about three 7/7 posts, so this must be already followed up, as usual great post Gloria, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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I must have missed this prompt so I'll keep out of it, but it sounds like girl I've about three 7/7 posts, so this must be already followed up, as usual great post Gloria, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 17-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2020
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LOL, thank you so much always, Roy. :))
Gloria
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Welcome