Reviews from

We Have Not Got A Pet, Yet

For children: A One Act Script in rhyming verse.

16 total reviews 
Comment from sandra roth
Excellent
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I enjoyed the playful words, but I didn't feel the flow, it has gobs of potential. it was very busy, but in a good way because the words were fun. It had a lot of good ideas that a child would enjoy

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
    Hello Sandra. Thanks for reviewing this script... you must've gone back a long way in my portfolio as I think I remember writing this about 2 years ago!
    I appreciate your comments that you think it would appeal to a child... as for 'the flow': because it is a script rather than a poem I kept it more conversational, less predictable in its metre. I don't have kids myself so I wrote it to entertain my own 'inner child'.
Comment from Michele Harber
Excellent
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Even if this were a blind contest, I would know this was yours from the wonderful internal, as well as end-of-line, rhymes. I particularly like "Golly gracious -- how audacious!" The story is cute, the characters are enjoyable, and the rhymes all work well. I hope this is meant as a TV script, as I'd hate to see you try to get that giraffe on a stage!

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2020

Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
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Quite ingenious, I really enjoyed your script and can easily be used in a school play. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest and with your writings.

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2020
    Thank you! It might be difficult to find an elf, but the giraffe could be an animal suit.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
Excellent
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This is very witty and cute. I guess it does pay well when you catch an elf and treat him nice. He at least didn't give them a dragon or something that might hurt them. I like what you've done with this and enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2020
    I bet the kids' dad was pleased it wasn't a dragon! Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from susand3022
Excellent
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Hi and Hello there, LisaMay...
Can I have a pet Elf today?
I need someone to sort my house,
Got rid of the bat, don't want a mouse!
It's warm enough now, for the cat
To go outside and that is that
Now I'll have to watch like a Hawk
That she won't bring in friends, that she can stalk!
True... she is nineteen years old
But like a kitten, she's very bold!
So send me Jack, before my doom
Finds a mouse in my bedroom!

This was such fun! I want a magical Elf! (in case you couldn't tell) LOL Best of luck! :)

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2020

Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Excellent
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This is a cute Calling Poetic Script Writers! contest entry. It wold be nice to have an elf at our beckoning! This script should do well. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2020
    Thanks for reviewing. I'd love a pet elf! Unlimited chocolate!
reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 14-Apr-2020
    Ha ha
Comment from Mark Valentine
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love how the rhymes come fast and furious in this one - it has a bounce to it that makes it very kid friendly and it is Seuss-esque in imagination and whimsy - Jack reminds me of "Thing 1 and Thing 2" from "The Cat in the Hat" - even the title sounds like something the good Doctor would have come up with.

Fantastic!

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
    Thanks for your super shiny review, Mark. Dr Seuss gets a nod from me by my inclusion of a cat in a hat in the rhymes. Credit where credit is due for my influences.
Comment from Reese Turner
Excellent
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I like it! Of course, I am so easy for a pet and to think of a child without one is a worry. Good tale and fun to read. Here in Texas, we almost never speak of "dunny" - but, what do we know? We wouldn't know Fair Dinkum if he showed up with a tucker full of pie!

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
    'Dunny' does seem to be a peculiarity of Oz and NZ. The origin is interesting: Dunny can now be used for any toilet. The word comes from British dialect dunnekin meaning an 'earth closet, (outside) privy' from dung + ken 'house'. First recorded in the 1930s but dunnekin is attested in Australian sources from the 1840s. (As kids, we thought it was "dunnycan", which had to be emptied regularly.)
reply by Reese Turner on 13-Apr-2020
    As we have conversed before, I really loved my trips to Oz and NZ! Always good to be reminded of those great days. If I ever win the lotto, I'll be shoutin' the pub in Akaroa and you're on the list! Good Onya
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
    Beaudy, mate!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written poetic script about the children keeping themselves busy during a worldwide lockdown although they have many stuffed toys to play with they're still dreaming about a real living pet.

 Comment Written 13-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
    Thanks for reviewing. I enjoyed writing this, so maybe i will try writing some more scripts.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Excellent
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This was a fun script to read on an Easter Sunday. I like the surprise giraffe at the end. It sounds like Jack the elf has some amazing magic connections. You used more internal rhyme than the other entries I read. That definitely shows a deft imagination.

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2020
    Thanks for mentioning the internal rhymes. That is a feature i have been trying to work into my poetry as a bit of a personal 'style'.